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No kiss on the first date, immediate grounds for nexting?

derby1

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"wow that sounds delicious, I should of invited myself over to try some of that!"
Bro
Words>Actions

shes getting you high on the "feel good"

dont get rid of her, just understand how good these women are at this.

I also believe it will be transaction sex, Not Lust
 

derby1

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This is typical manipultive move experienced girls pull to "test" you. I have encountered this countless times, and I never do it. If they asked, I'd just say "Oh I was too sleepy so I forgot."
I understand its a flip of what we advise, why is it manipulative? interested as its only been done to me by Narcs
 

TheNewStyle123

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Bro
Words>Actions

shes getting you high on the "feel good"

dont get rid of her, just understand how good these women are at this.

I also believe it will be transaction sex, Not Lust
My last experience with transactional sex (with the 22 y.o.) wasn’t great. Maybe I should cut like now hahaha
 

TheNewStyle123

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Like @Hank Moody and @LARaiders85 are saying - Overthinking and out gaming can be counter productive. A strategy for avoiding this, if a text requires a reply, is type what you would say out loud if you were having a real conversation with her (or one of your guy friends).
Her: I should’ve invited myself over to try some of that
You: Yea you should’ve. It was good.

Whatever you say is no big deal. You’re not going to change much through a text conversation like this. But you can make it weird by trying too hard to be perfect and potentially lose some ground. I doubt she is analyzing the words like you are.

As far as the video, open it tonight and don’t reply.

If you find yourself trying to keep the text convo going, and a reply to her isn’t specifically needed, it’s too much. Better to end it with one from her and wait for her to reach out again (double text), however long that takes. Always look for your opportunity to bow out of the text exchange rather than keep it going.

It helps maintain mystery and keeps you from talking her out of being interested.

Imagination is what they want early on.
Damn, that is a much better answer haha. I like that. Overall, you're right though. Overthinking is counterproductive and the minute you start doing that dating isn't fun anymore. Everyone has given great advice on this. I'm going to proceed and try not to overthink things and see what happens.
 

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samspade

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There's some really excellent advice on this thread.

OP, my rule of thumb is if I'm getting enjoyment out of the continued interaction, I keep it going. If not, I eject. Of course that's with eyes wide open and no self-delusion. Girls have their own timelines and different worlds collide at different intervals. Some take minutes, some years, and everything in between.

Ask her if she knows how to make escondidinho.
 

TheNewStyle123

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There's some really excellent advice on this thread.

OP, my rule of thumb is if I'm getting enjoyment out of the continued interaction, I keep it going. If not, I eject. Of course that's with eyes wide open and no self-delusion. Girls have their own timelines and different worlds collide at different intervals. Some take minutes, some years, and everything in between.

Ask her if she knows how to make escondidinho.
That's great advice man. I can honestly say she was fun to be around. I think it's worth a second date for sure. If it feels too forced or not genuine next time I see her then I will certainly eject.

Escondidinho is great!!
 

Rainman4707

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What's up guys.

Had a great time tonight with this Brazilian girl on our first date. We met at a bar in her town and ended up being there for a few hours talking. Conversation was great, she was a sweet girl, and fun to be around. She and I both initiated kino throughout the night and she seemed interested in me based on the way she had been flirting with me.

When we left the bar I walked her to her car with my arm around her and her up close to me as she said she was cold. She was not averse to this at all and was holding me tightly too as we walked. When we got to her car she offered to drive me to mine. Bingo. I figured this would be a perfect time to try to make out with her.

When we got to my car she pulled up next to it and didn't park her car. That was my first sign that she may have been trying to avoid a kiss. When I turned to her to say goodnight and went in for a kiss, she kissed my cheek and said "it's better this way." And some other line that I really can't remember now that was a nice way of saying "not tonight". She asked me to text her when I got home.

When I go home I said "I made it home safe!"

She said "I had a really great time with you, the hours just flew, it was nice to get to know a little bit of you. I hope you had good time too. I wish you a good night and sweet dreams" (with a kiss and heart eyes emoji).

Me: "Me too. It did go by very fast. Goodnight!"


Would you guys give this girl another date? Throughout the night from the way she described her past relationships and herself she definitely seems like she takes things slow/is careful. She is an intelligent, hardworking girl and an HB8. I can understand a girl being a little guarded, but do you think I would just be fighting an uphill battle at this point if there was no genuine desire to kiss on our first date?

Thanks boys.
Depends what your goal is with her.

If i liked her, why not see her again.
I remember a hungarian woman i was dating in early 2014. She was similar to your girl. She was hesitant with snogs, even after the third date, so i kept my disatnce a while. Anyway, she waited until about fifth date when we were in her bedroom...we started making out. Then she turned into a right dirty *****. Gave me the best ******* i've ever ****ing had. 69...the lot.
Some girls just wait a while
 

derby1

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I think it's worth a second date for sure. If it feels too forced or not genuine next time I see her then I will certainly eject.
ofcourse, just be wary of her getting you to hoop jump. kissing in steps is a massive red flag

I had one who asked me to take her to hers to get changed (after awful hoop jumping kisses , she came out with her hair redone, and pyjamas on.

(I thought game on)

when back at mine, she knew exactly how to position herself on the sofa so it totally locked me off from escalating all night.


Sick in the head for power.

shes twice as fat now and twice as drunk. still no chap
 

RickTheToad

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Damn, that is a much better answer haha. I like that. Overall, you're right though. Overthinking is counterproductive and the minute you start doing that dating isn't fun anymore. Everyone has given great advice on this. I'm going to proceed and try not to overthink things and see what happens.
I'd caution against that over text. Believe it or not, convo over text can come off very differently than in person or on the phone. If she feels like it's brash or rude, she'd next you. It's happen to me too. It's one of the reasons why I prefer phone or in person convo instead of via text.
 

2Rocky

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She Epitomizes my "Don't start what you can't finish" approach to Kino and sex.

She is giving plenty of interest signals in her texting. I think when you start the second date at your place you start off on a physically affectionate note. Set the tone with a quick kiss and a tight hug, and then go on about getting the dinner ready. Pour some wine and play some dance music she likes.. Dance in the kitchen while fixing dinner. Be physically touching her flirtily but not sexually. lots of eye contact. She should be playing along and you shouldn't push too fast that she feels like she has to push you away. Leave her wanting more...

After dinner continue the slow dancing in the living room and ramp up the escalation. Her response from the pre dinner kino will tell you if she is feeling the groove. If you pushed to far, she will probably pick up her stuff and leave. Don't ask her out again in that case.
 

Lookatu

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This girl also seems to be running relationship game. Just be conscious of if that is what you want.
This.

Also realize she's from Brazil and sometimes people from other cultures do things a bit different.

OP, I know you're generally after quick and effortless bangs but it's up to you if you want to go for a challenge and play the long game to get this girl or not. The effort may or may not be worth it but it's really your personal choice.

I've been in situations where I didn't get a kiss on the first date but still blossoming into something, but the important thing is SHE is always giving you attention, initiating, giving compliments, etc. Not YOU.

If you got other plates, I don't see anything wrong with playing the long game with her as long as you're not bending over backwards for her in any way and things keep flowing easy and good.
 

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TheNewStyle123

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This.

Also realize she's from Brazil and sometimes people from other cultures do things a bit different.

OP, I know you're generally after quick and effortless bangs but it's up to you if you want to go for a challenge and play the long game to get this girl or not. The effort may or may not be worth it but it's really your personal choice.

I've been in situations where I didn't get a kiss on the first date but still blossoming into something, but the important thing is SHE is always giving you attention, initiating, giving compliments, etc. Not YOU.

If you got other plates, I don't see anything wrong with playing the long game with her as long as you're not bending over backwards for her in any way and things keep flowing easy and good.
Good advice buddy thank you. Yeah I have some other plates to spin and I am really attracted to this girl. I plan on playing the long game as long as things continue to escalate. Would you suggest offering to have dinner at my place for date #2 or stick with public settings?
 

TheNewStyle123

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She Epitomizes my "Don't start what you can't finish" approach to Kino and sex.

She is giving plenty of interest signals in her texting. I think when you start the second date at your place you start off on a physically affectionate note. Set the tone with a quick kiss and a tight hug, and then go on about getting the dinner ready. Pour some wine and play some dance music she likes.. Dance in the kitchen while fixing dinner. Be physically touching her flirtily but not sexually. lots of eye contact. She should be playing along and you shouldn't push too fast that she feels like she has to push you away. Leave her wanting more...

After dinner continue the slow dancing in the living room and ramp up the escalation. Her response from the pre dinner kino will tell you if she is feeling the groove. If you pushed to far, she will probably pick up her stuff and leave. Don't ask her out again in that case.
Should I invite her to my place for date #2, or stick to a public setting? I don't want to come off as too forward or hungry.
 

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Lookatu

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Good advice buddy thank you. Yeah I have some other plates to spin and I am really attracted to this girl. I plan on playing the long game as long as things continue to escalate. Would you suggest offering to have dinner at my place for date #2 or stick with public settings?
The fact that she's on the slow side would be better in public setting. That's a safer bet IMO.
 

Lookatu

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The fact she talked about "inviting herelf to dinner" opens the possibility of her coming over. She mentioned it...
I missed that but still the fact that she wasn't even receptive to a kiss, she isn't going to go from a no kiss to a full bang anyways. So having her over IMO won't really be conducive anyways. Plus it gives more chances for things to go wrong being in that environment if she has strong ASD and OP pushes her buttons in the wrong way.

OP can always invite her over if things get steamy out in public anyways. "Wanna check out my art collection at my place?" Just keep your logistics tight OP if you think there might be that chance.
 

2Rocky

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If there is enough sexual TENSION in the texts she will either accept the invite or demure and ask for the Public date.
 

TheNewStyle123

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I missed that but still the fact that she wasn't even receptive to a kiss, she isn't going to go from a no kiss to a full bang anyways. So having her over IMO won't really be conducive anyways. Plus it gives more chances for things to go wrong being in that environment if she has strong ASD and OP pushes her buttons in the wrong way.

OP can always invite her over if things get steamy out in public anyways. "Wanna check out my art collection at my place?" Just keep your logistics tight OP if you think there might be that chance.
Both you and @2Rocky make great points.. ahh it'll be a game time decision. I know the lack of kiss is an obvious one, but I could see it going either way with her accepting an invitation to my place. Even if we don't buck getting her to my place would at least be a step.
 
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