Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

No kiss on the first date, immediate grounds for nexting?

TheNewStyle123

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2020
Messages
455
Reaction score
358
What's up guys.

Had a great time tonight with this Brazilian girl on our first date. We met at a bar in her town and ended up being there for a few hours talking. Conversation was great, she was a sweet girl, and fun to be around. She and I both initiated kino throughout the night and she seemed interested in me based on the way she had been flirting with me.

When we left the bar I walked her to her car with my arm around her and her up close to me as she said she was cold. She was not averse to this at all and was holding me tightly too as we walked. When we got to her car she offered to drive me to mine. Bingo. I figured this would be a perfect time to try to make out with her.

When we got to my car she pulled up next to it and didn't park her car. That was my first sign that she may have been trying to avoid a kiss. When I turned to her to say goodnight and went in for a kiss, she kissed my cheek and said "it's better this way." And some other line that I really can't remember now that was a nice way of saying "not tonight". She asked me to text her when I got home.

When I go home I said "I made it home safe!"

She said "I had a really great time with you, the hours just flew, it was nice to get to know a little bit of you. I hope you had good time too. I wish you a good night and sweet dreams" (with a kiss and heart eyes emoji).

Me: "Me too. It did go by very fast. Goodnight!"


Would you guys give this girl another date? Throughout the night from the way she described her past relationships and herself she definitely seems like she takes things slow/is careful. She is an intelligent, hardworking girl and an HB8. I can understand a girl being a little guarded, but do you think I would just be fighting an uphill battle at this point if there was no genuine desire to kiss on our first date?

Thanks boys.
 

Focal core

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2017
Messages
1,240
Reaction score
957
Age
40
Is this the women you would say shes giving back? Seems like shes doing it because she like to be in control of thing.. Eg, drop you out of her car so she owed nothing and drive herself home.


Throughout the night from the way she described her past relationships and herself she definitely seems like she takes things slow/is careful.
No interested women would drop this line to you, they will just ride the wave as way you orchestrated it to be.

She said "I had a really great time with you, the hours just flew, it was nice to get to know a little bit of you. I hope you had good time too. I wish you a good night and sweet dreams" (with a kiss and heart eyes emoji).
She doesnt seems eager to continue any further and just left you where it is.. Wait for her to initiate, girl whois truly interested will initiate things with you.

She and I both initiated kino throughout the night and she seemed interested in me based on the way she had been flirting with me.
Base on my experience i dont do kino in date meeting, just light touch, poking around playful if shes sharing the vibe with me, even better if shes faking the vibe. But ill know it nonetheless. Escalating on the date too fast means youre thirsty lack of option. Its advisable to just maintain the fun while you hangout. Escalate only after youre out from the venue/meeting place.

Dont confuse flirting with genuine desire, just listen to your guts when it comes to women. Your guts saying is on this thread title, not nexting tho, she put you on hold.. Do the same.
 

TheNewStyle123

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2020
Messages
455
Reaction score
358
Is this the women you would say shes giving back? Seems like shes doing it because she like to be in control of thing.. Eg, drop you out of her car so she owed nothing and drive herself home.




No interested women would drop this line to you, they will just ride the wave as way you orchestrated it to be.


She doesnt seems eager to continue any further and just left you where it is.. Wait for her to initiate, girl whois truly interested will initiate things with you.


Base on my experience i dont do kino in date meeting, just light touch, poking around playful if shes sharing the vibe with me, even better if shes faking the vibe. But ill know it nonetheless. Escalating on the date too fast means youre thirsty lack of option. Its advisable to just maintain the fun while you hangout. Escalate only after youre out from the venue/meeting place.

Dont confuse flirting with genuine desire, just listen to your guts when it comes to women. Your guts saying is on this thread title, not nexting tho, she put you on hold.. Do the same.
Thanks man. Sounds like a good plan a this time is to not text her and see if she messages me over the next few days.
 

TheNewStyle123

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2020
Messages
455
Reaction score
358
If this makes any difference to this post, she is definitely looking for an LTR and mentioned when she starts to see someone she likes to remain exclusive to that person and not casually date around. I am wondering if she sees LTR material in me and does not want to come off as too easy? I don't think kissing someone on a first date is considered 'easy' though....
 

Focal core

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2017
Messages
1,240
Reaction score
957
Age
40
If this makes any difference to this post, she is definitely looking for an LTR and mentioned when she starts to see someone she likes to remain exclusive to that person and not casually date around. I am wondering if she sees LTR material in me and does not want to come off as too easy? I don't think kissing someone on a first date is considered 'easy' though....
You making an effort is hard enough, her job are to made it easier for you (even if LTR on her mind.. Girl will move fast with the guy that they want, if shes not doing it its already lost, i figure this one had another option in line that she weighing out.. Nobody deserves to be a second option even she turn back around at later time, i should downgrade her to plate.
 

image

"If you love women, you must read the SoSuave Guide to Women. It's fantastic!"

manfrombelow

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 28, 2021
Messages
579
Reaction score
737
What's up guys.

Had a great time tonight with this Brazilian girl on our first date. We met at a bar in her town and ended up being there for a few hours talking. Conversation was great, she was a sweet girl, and fun to be around. She and I both initiated kino throughout the night and she seemed interested in me based on the way she had been flirting with me.

When we left the bar I walked her to her car with my arm around her and her up close to me as she said she was cold. She was not averse to this at all and was holding me tightly too as we walked. When we got to her car she offered to drive me to mine. Bingo. I figured this would be a perfect time to try to make out with her.

When we got to my car she pulled up next to it and didn't park her car. That was my first sign that she may have been trying to avoid a kiss. When I turned to her to say goodnight and went in for a kiss, she kissed my cheek and said "it's better this way." And some other line that I really can't remember now that was a nice way of saying "not tonight". She asked me to text her when I got home.

When I go home I said "I made it home safe!"

She said "I had a really great time with you, the hours just flew, it was nice to get to know a little bit of you. I hope you had good time too. I wish you a good night and sweet dreams" (with a kiss and heart eyes emoji).

Me: "Me too. It did go by very fast. Goodnight!"


Would you guys give this girl another date? Throughout the night from the way she described her past relationships and herself she definitely seems like she takes things slow/is careful. She is an intelligent, hardworking girl and an HB8. I can understand a girl being a little guarded, but do you think I would just be fighting an uphill battle at this point if there was no genuine desire to kiss on our first date?

Thanks boys.
You spent "a few hours" talking with her on the 1st date. That's too much for the 1st date if no kiss and sex happened. I'd always cut the date short when the vibe was at its most positive and happy state, to leave her wonder about me.

The fact she turned her cheek was a true red flag, brother. It indicated her Interest Level in you was low.

And why did you send her the "I made it home safe" after you got home? That's supposed to be her text. As a man, you don't text after you got home.

I'd give her just one more date. If I can't at least give her my tongue and saliva, there won't be a 3rd date even if she's a HB 10.
 

BillyPilgrim

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 9, 2021
Messages
95
Reaction score
77
Age
49
How far away does this chick live?

The I-got-home-safe text is something she should be sending *after having sex*. The fact she requested this after refusing a kiss is an overt betaization attempt.

The walking the chick to her car, having her drive me to mine, and then making out with a chick is a standard move of mine. Never have I not gotten at least a makeout from this. Usually there's also at least fondling involved.

The "good morning" text is a standard maneuver of a LTR-seeking chick. It's not just an expression of interest, it's also her checking up on you to make sure you're up early and being acceptably productive. Sexy, isn't it?

Lol, if her spending multiple hours having a good time with you means she knows just "a little bit about you" and only gets a peck on the cheek, expect some hard, hard vetting going forward. She doesn't seem to want to allow any sense of mystery before there's sex. She wants to examine her meal with a high-grade magnifying glass before taking that first bite. By the time she's done, the food's cold and her appetite (if there was any in the first place) is gone.

These chicks may be indeed wising up, but the thing to remember gents is that they'll never have the upper-hand intelligence-wise when it comes to game. Necessity is the mother of invention and these girls have little incentive to be inventive.

I like RicktheToad's suggestion. See if she'll let you pick her up, or pick a venue near you and see if she wants to meet you at yours. If she keeps pumping the breaks, next her. Also, move away from Boston if you can.

Brazilian girls may sound like a great idea, but remember it's a Catholic country. Don't always assume she's dtf, and in fact a girl like this might be hiding behind her nationality's reputation.
 
Last edited:

TheProspect

Moderator
Joined
Feb 5, 2016
Messages
701
Reaction score
1,317
No, a girl not kissing you on the first date is not an immediate grounds for nexting, especially if you're open to an LTR.

I personally don't kiss close on first dates, except on the rare occasion that it naturally & spontaneously happens, but I never go into a first date with an intention to kiss. However, I always make an effort to escalate on the second date to show my intentions & desire and demonstrate that I have balls.

I'm not trying to get laid on the first date anymore, so others may feel differently or disagree with me.

These days I prefer to get to know a girl a little bit before I am physically intimate with her, as I need to like the girl to an extent before sleeping with her.


Regarding your situation, I would schedule a second date and attempt to kiss her again at some point during it. If she denies you again then I would at that point consider nexting her.
 

image

Put away your credit card.

You can now read our detailed guide to women and dating for free - Right Here!

manfrombelow

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 28, 2021
Messages
579
Reaction score
737
If this makes any difference to this post, she is definitely looking for an LTR and mentioned when she starts to see someone she likes to remain exclusive to that person and not casually date around. I am wondering if she sees LTR material in me and does not want to come off as too easy? I don't think kissing someone on a first date is considered 'easy' though....
Girls who are LTR seekers are not fun to be around with (unless LTR is what you also want). Usually they have been too experienced, too used to "battlefield" if you know what I mean, and they are very calculating. And because they seek LTR, they tend to make you wait very long for sex - which is a turnoff to me. I don't expect to make my d!ck wet on 1st or 2nd date, but also I don't want to play their stupid game either.

That's why I always prefer young girls, for they are more spontaneous, wild, not calculating, still somewhat naive, and very fun to be around with.
 

TheNewStyle123

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2020
Messages
455
Reaction score
358
You spent "a few hours" talking with her on the 1st date. That's too much for the 1st date if no kiss and sex happened. I'd always cut the date short when the vibe was at its most positive and happy state, to leave her wonder about me.

The fact she turned her cheek was a true red flag, brother. It indicated her Interest Level in you was low.

And why did you send her the "I made it home safe" after you got home? That's supposed to be her text. As a man, you don't text after you got home.

I'd give her just one more date. If I can't at least give her my tongue and saliva, there won't be a 3rd date even if she's a HB 10.
She asked me to text her when I got home. And yeah man if no kissing on at least the second date I’m out!
 

TheNewStyle123

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2020
Messages
455
Reaction score
358
She has been texting me a few points throughout the day too. I didn’t respond to one of her texts and she texted me again asking what I was up to today.

I think it’s worth giving another shot and seeing if we can at least kiss. She had mentioned a Brazilian BBQ place that she wanted to show me. It could be a fun time to go to dinner with her this Wednesday.

But like @manfrombelow said, if I don’t even get a kiss on date 2 I’ll have to next her, regardless of her looks and personality.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
1,556
Reaction score
1,587
You can make a case for immediate nexting due to no first date kiss. There have been seduction guys advocating that.

I have a good setup in my woman life right now so not adding new women. If I need to ever date again, I plan to follow @EyeBRollin's method of post date communication of 5-9 days of silence following either first or second dates. I'll see which women text me prior to the 5-9 day period.
 

TheNewStyle123

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2020
Messages
455
Reaction score
358
No, a girl not kissing you on the first date is not an immediate grounds for nexting, especially if you're open to an LTR.

I personally don't kiss close on first dates, except on the rare occasion that it naturally & spontaneously happens, but I never go into a first date with an intention to kiss. However, I always make an effort to escalate on the second date to show my intentions & desire and demonstrate that I have balls.

I'm not trying to get laid on the first date anymore, so others may feel differently or disagree with me.

These days I prefer to get to know a girl a little bit before I am physically intimate with her, as I need to like the girl to an extent before sleeping with her.


Regarding your situation, I would schedule a second date and attempt to kiss her again at some point during it. If she denies you again then I would at that point consider nexting her.
Good plan buddy - thank you! And I have been following the same policy as you as far as escalation on dates. This caught me by surprise though. I haven't had a girl yet deny me a kiss. But like @Velasco said, just means you have to step your game up.

And yeah @RickTheToad and @BillyPilgrim I'm going to try that. Maybe better than dinner for a second date? She lives 30 min from me.
 
Top