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No Facebook & Meeting Women; The Concept of Social Proof

AJHook

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Greetings gentlemen,

As a young prospective DJ machete-ing his way through through the jungle of dating and seduction uncertainty, I'd thought I would bring up topic of discussion which appears to me to be a new obstacle.

As a 28 year old, I have been without a Facebook account for 3 years plus. I won't get into details about why I stopped using it, that's a story for another time. Since I have left the world of social media, I have discovered a new level of attentiveness to the world around me that I had once never attained. This heightened awareness has helped me through my masculine journey in not only meeting women, but also in my academic and professional endeavors and almost all other aspects of my life.
As any good seducer knows, awareness is a key element in attracting women. But there is a bit of a conundrum that I have encountered at this stage. Allow me to elaborate:

Any trained monkey can go out, find chicks, approach, banter and get numbers. While I do these things (in a graceful manner I'd like to think, and not in a primate-like manner) I encounter a great deal of flaky numbers and women. In recognition that this could be due to an infinite number of factors, including the quality of my approach (which is never perfect, but usually above average), I find that a large portion of these women flake. While I understand that this goes with the territory of cold approaching women, there must be something I can do to increase my chances of success...

Lots of the gals that I speak with ask the same question: "How do I find you on Facebook/Instagram?"
Me: "Don't use Facebook/Instagram."
Her: *look of apprehension*
Me: "I prefer to speak on the phone" -or something like it <insert joke/line to get number>
She gives me number...
...and I don't need to spell out the rest.

My thoughts are these:
Would having a well crafted Facebook/Instagram page contribute to success? My thoughts are that lots of women these days are apprehensive to go out on dates with total strangers after having chatted briefly in location x. The only context/frame a woman has of me was from our interaction. What if my game was off a bit, but she still thinks I'm attractive? It could be 50/50 for her for a number of reasons. Facebook acts as a mechanism of modern social proof, it shows pictures with you and others, friends, etc...If she had the option of stalking me a bit on social media and found that she would like to go out etc, could having social media be the catalyst for getting dates/fewer flaky encounters? What are your experiences with social media as a form of social proof?

Your feedback is valued gentlemen.

Cheers,
Hook
 

Thorninmyside

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It can work for or against you. Like any good web medium, content is king. If your IG has 12 followers and pictures of family birthdays, it's a bit useless. But if you're using social media as a means of documenting your awesome life, it can provide quasi-social proof/value.

I never give out my personal facebook because that's for me to say and post whatever I want without a filter. But my career FB page and IG both have a little over 20,000 followers each, so when they see pics of achievements and frequent international travel, they see I'm not some guy puffing hot air.
 

BeExcellent

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Not having Facebook allows you to retain some mystery with women you just met (they might be nuts, you never know). I'm an old chick and I have it, but I don't ever use it (so I rarely add people or get on it or do much at all with it.)

I do not give a crap about somebody's cat having a birthday and 6000 pointless memes. Who has time for that? Somebody save me from the self absorbed minutiae for crying out loud. Also I'm extremely private about myself so I'm seriously thinking about taking it down altogether but I have to mind my kiddos so I guess I'm stuck with it for now.

But I get that its a generational thing too. Men in their 40s and 50s who are my target market never ask me to add them on Facebook or vice versa. One of the men I date has a 21 year old son and he is constantly having a laugh about Millennials and social media. At my age its an afterthought, but at yours I can understand.

I would think however you could use this to your advantage. Say something clever like: "I know, right. A dude who actually thinks person to person interaction is cool" and roll your eyes. It's all in how you present it. A flat answer might seem odd, so be a bit humorous to overcome the "astonished look".
 

TheMonkeyKing

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Ninety-nine times out of 100, people are portraying a better life than they actually have. Long and short, people with genuine social proof don't need social media to promote it; the proof itself does the work for them.
 

AJHook

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If they ask, "How do I find you on Facebook/Instagram?", I would try responding with, "I don't do memes, birthday party pictures and I sure as hell don't do drama, so how about I just find you with a text message instead?"
Great response. I'll try this for sure. Also looking back at some of my recent sets, I know I could have had a stronger frame...a man fails, he learns, and must make tweaks.

As BeExcellent said, having a social media page like this diminishes the sense of mystery. I agree completely, and is ultimately part of the reason why I continue to elect to not use Facebook. Moreover, I value my private life, plain and simple as that.
 

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