No contact

[The Professor]

How long should you do no contact rule with an ex?

 

[backseatjuan]

Purpose of no contact is to move on, find another woman. Forever man.

 

[Romanemp22]

Like backseatjuan said, forever. When you're done with her, you're done and on to the next one.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

How long should you do no contact rule with an ex?

Firstly you need to ask yourself why you want her back and be honest with yourself as to if you want to really change during that time.

It differs depending on how you acted, the reason for the breakup and how long you were dating.

Anywhere from 21 to 60 days. The worse the breakup and the more beta you acted the longer you do it.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Be honest with why you would want to contact her again. If it is for any hope of getting back together, that ship has already sailed. Forget about it. Doesn’t work. If it is to “be friends,” first ensure you are 100%, absolutely, without a doubt, honest with yourself that you want a true platonic friendship with her, that you understand it will never be romantic, that you will never desire romance with her, and then ask yourself if you believe she will be a true friend.... the kind who invests in you as you invest in her.

99 times out of 100, the guy thinks he can get her back, or wants her back, whether he is willing to admit it to himself or others, and then the self justification comes along, “Oh I just want to make sure she is ok” or, “I don’t want any bad feelings and just want us to be friends.” But that’s not the real reason.

This is why the gold standard advice is to move on with your life, stay in no contact, and keep looking forward to your future.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Be honest with why you would want to contact her again. If it is for any hope of getting back together, that ship has already sailed. Forget about it. Doesn’t work. If it is to “be friends,” first ensure you are 100%, absolutely, without a doubt, honest with yourself that you want a true platonic friendship with her, that you understand it will never be romantic, that you will never desire romance with her, and then ask yourself if you believe she will be a true friend.... the kind who invests in you as you invest in her.

99 times out of 100, the guy thinks he can get her back, or wants her back, whether he is willing to admit it to himself or others, and then the self justification comes along, “Oh I just want to make sure she is ok” or, “I don’t want any bad feelings and just want us to be friends.” But that’s not the real reason.

This is why the gold standard advice is to move on with your life, stay in no contact, and keep looking forward to your future.

Of course it can work. People get back together all the time. The problem is that very rarely has anything really changed and it only is a very short time until they realize it and break up again.

If you want to give this a try you need to ensure you are actually making quality changes in yourself after understanding what went wrong and what you need to fix.

 

[MT93]

What if you have kids? What's the rule surrounding No Contact then?

 

[Stoic]

What if you have kids? What's the rule surrounding No Contact then?

Only necessary contact for the well being of the kids