The Professor
Don Juan
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How long should you do no contact rule with an ex?
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
No contact
- Thread starter The Professor
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
backseatjuan
Banned
Purpose of no contact is to move on, find another woman. Forever man.
Romanemp22
Master Don Juan
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Like backseatjuan said, forever. When you're done with her, you're done and on to the next one.
BackInTheGame78
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Firstly you need to ask yourself why you want her back and be honest with yourself as to if you want to really change during that time.
It differs depending on how you acted, the reason for the breakup and how long you were dating.
Anywhere from 21 to 60 days. The worse the breakup and the more beta you acted the longer you do it.
oldmanofthesea
Master Don Juan
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Be honest with why you would want to contact her again. If it is for any hope of getting back together, that ship has already sailed. Forget about it. Doesn’t work. If it is to “be friends,” first ensure you are 100%, absolutely, without a doubt, honest with yourself that you want a true platonic friendship with her, that you understand it will never be romantic, that you will never desire romance with her, and then ask yourself if you believe she will be a true friend.... the kind who invests in you as you invest in her.
99 times out of 100, the guy thinks he can get her back, or wants her back, whether he is willing to admit it to himself or others, and then the self justification comes along, “Oh I just want to make sure she is ok” or, “I don’t want any bad feelings and just want us to be friends.” But that’s not the real reason.
This is why the gold standard advice is to move on with your life, stay in no contact, and keep looking forward to your future.
99 times out of 100, the guy thinks he can get her back, or wants her back, whether he is willing to admit it to himself or others, and then the self justification comes along, “Oh I just want to make sure she is ok” or, “I don’t want any bad feelings and just want us to be friends.” But that’s not the real reason.
This is why the gold standard advice is to move on with your life, stay in no contact, and keep looking forward to your future.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
BackInTheGame78
Moderator
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2014
- Messages
- 16,944
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- 19,258
Of course it can work. People get back together all the time. The problem is that very rarely has anything really changed and it only is a very short time until they realize it and break up again.
If you want to give this a try you need to ensure you are actually making quality changes in yourself after understanding what went wrong and what you need to fix.
Only necessary contact for the well being of the kids