nicksaiz65 Odyssey

[nicksaiz65]

@GrowingPains I'd like your post 100 times if I could. There is a HUGE amount in their for our friend. I hope he takes it and internalizes all the gifts you've offered him there. That would offer him more than 1,000,000 P/U videos!!!!

@nicksaiz65 I tell it as I see it. I am glad you stood forward for what you felt was unsaid. That's important. I honor that. I honor your courage for living out here in full display. It's big.

Your honesty with yourself is your ticket home. It will take you farther than anything else. Radical Honesty with yourself.
There is lots that has been said already. The answers aren't on these pages. The answers are in you.

Here is question for you to be honest with yourself about:

What do you know that you are pretending not to know????

Can you be a bit more specific? I don't know exactly what you mean by that question.

 

[nicksaiz65]

That's your house on fire! Except you can't get rid of yourself. You are always with you. You can't throw you away. You can't bury your feelings so far that they are not still burning below the surface. no matter how you dress, your waves, etc. you can look away all you want. You are still you. You need to resolve what is unsettled IN YOU, not runaway from in, dress it different, hide it, cover it, put a facade over it. Resolve it! Make Peace with it. Truly = How you start putting out the fire

So even if I had everything I wanted in life, I'd still be unhappy?

My God, I'm having deja vu. This is the exact conversation I had with my friend. He said "you could have all this stuff you want, and you'll still be unhappy. You hate your life and you won't admit it to yourself." This conversation is after I ghosted them for 3 months. My reason being "I have awful grades, I'm not wavy and I can't even dance. What good is it hanging out? I'll come back after I get my shyt in line this summer."

I honestly can't even begin to tell you. If I asked myself why I'm unhappy, I'd just list the same surface reasons that I've already said in this journal. I honestly, truly, don't know. I define my worth in my grades, waves, music, money, Game, fashion, muscles, and all that stuff. That's the best answer I have for you.

Hence why I'm still a loser. I've taken major steps forward but it could take 3 years to get the rest of this sh*t in line.

Here's another question. Do you think that this unresolved emotional mess has any bearing at all on my academics, no matter how slight? I'm not looking for excuses for my behavior. I'm just wondering if this stuff is linked.

 

[nicksaiz65]

How Did it Evolve to This?

I really hate how this was supposed to be a simple Game Journal with a splash of inner game and then it evolved into a full intervention lol. I never ever would've expected this when I made the first post. I hope this isn't annoying for you guys.

Maybe I should re-apply for school.... I don't know. I'll look into that. But I'd have to leave school for 4 years and forfeit every credit I've earned. NO. I'm just gonna finish strong. That's what I have to say about that.

Instead of crying, how about I find out the answer to my academic questions, finish my degree, cope with these people, and do what I gotta do?

Let's say that my GPA is too low to get an internship. Well f*ck them then. I'll get experience through personal projects. And I'll knock on peoples' door and ask for work just like y'all said.

I will succeed. I don't care what anyone says anymore.

 

[marmel75]

[QUOTE="LiveYourDream, post: 2631420, ]
I really appreciate the write-up and I agree with much of what you say: this time I'm going to defend myself a bit though. I honestly think I've been doing much better.

As for starting last minute, I've been doing much better about that. The issues I was having were with OOP Program 1 and Databases. I started OOP 2 Weeks out and Databases a week out. I couldn't figure out OOP for the life of me. I got tutoring, I sat in front of the screen for hours... Just nothing doing. I was able to finish Databases but that was one of the most obnoxious programs I've had the displeasure of doing. I just couldn't solve the program in OOP, it didn't work. So idk what to say on that. I passed everything else and my average was looking like a 78. But take away Program 1 and it becomes a 68. Fvck.

I know it seems all I talk about is DJing from here. But on a real day of my life, I'm actually just running around doing school stuff, classes, et cetera. My mind just tends to wander to Game when I take my breaks so I end up posting on here. I promise I'm not just sitting around watching Game videos lol. It's just my mind tends to wander to it throughout the day and I like to post here to gather my thoughts. As I go throughout the tedium of my day, y'know? The Game stuff helps me take my mind off things for a few minutes. Game is dynamic so I always have new stuff on it. Classes? Study... Do the programs... Not much to say

I'll go ahead and make the discussion public that I was having about these classes. I made a D in Calculus 2 the first time. So I'm retaking it now. But I was looking at the Undergraduate Path and that may be enough to move on. I'd just have to take MATH 3070 instead of MATH 3410. If that's the case, I'm done with Cal 2. Out of every class I've ever taken, there's been none I hate more than Cal 2. It's the most frustrating, annoying, obnoxious class I've ever dealt with.

I hope I don't make a D in Databases. I SHOULD make a C if things go according to my plan. But I'm just preparing for the worst case scenario in case my program bombs or something like that. And if it does, do I have to retake it? If I pass, I'm not looking back. That class is frigging hard and I don't wanna do it again.

I'm sorry but I can't ever give up on this CS degree. If it's not CS, I don't wanna do anything at all. I love music, and cutting hair is cool, but my dream is to be a programmer AND musician. My transcript is pretty bad but I'm just gonna do the out of sight out of mind thing on this one.

I realize I've fvcked up with the money. As soon as I graduate and get a job, I'm gonna live on half my income. With the other half, I will pay off student loans and give my parents $40,000 as an apology.

As for getting thrown out? I'd have to fail absolutely everything next semester. I'm still in the clear for this semester.

And as for getting help I don't have a defense for that. I'm still running from my problems and barely staying afloat with classes.

In high school, I had a 3.6. I was determined to prove to everyone that I was the best. I did that my first semester of college but then the CS stuff got frustrating and I gave up.

I honestly feel like I'm doing better this semester thanks to you guys.

I've been avoiding my advisor like the plague. My transcript is cancer lol. I can't go see her with grades like that! She teaches a lot of the classes I fvcked up in!!! How embarrassing! I told myself I won't talk to her until I have a really good semester.

Sorry if this sounds like I'm not open to feedback or abrasive, but I honestly think this semester I have some things to defend towards myself

@LiveYourDream

OOP helps if you think of it in real world terms. At least it helped me when starting out.

Let's take vehicles for instance.

You could create an abstract Vehicle class with certain property fields and methods:

int numWheels;
int maxSpeed;
double highwayMPG;
double cityMPG;
book isHybrid;

public void Drive();
public void Reverse();


Etc, etc

You cannot create a vehicle, its an abstract base class which the derived classes inherit from.

class Car:Vehicle
class Truck:Vehicle

Then you could have makes which would inherit from the appropriate vehicle type

class Toyota:Car
class Chevrolet:Car

Etc etc...

Each of the derived classes inherit the property and methods of the base class

Since you can't have multiple base classes, the only way to allow multiple inheritance is through implementing interfaces. An interface can be thought of as a contract between the interface and the class using it. In effect, its like a franchise agreement....the interface allows the class to use ot but it requires it implements all of the properties and methods in it. It doesnt care HOW you implement them, only that you do in some way...

 

[GrowingPains]

On the inside. Boy, that sounds familiar. So even if my sh*t was perfect it'd just come out in other areas of my life?

I believe so. Its the same reason that a woman should not define your happiness. You should be happy with yourself. If you do all these things for people in your life, and they leave your life, then what was it for? Improve for you, it's your life. But engage your purpose for others - every ant contributes something to the ant hill. Think of most influential people, their message is not a selfish one but one of benefiting the greater good.

You say none of this would be happening if you didn't have bad grades. But it's not really about the grades. The reason for the bad grades is because you haven't mastered yourself. From my point of view anyways, you may think differently and if so lmk. But the way I'm seeing it is that it all comes back to inner game.

So I'm reading through the above posts... let's dive in.

First, thanks @LiveYourDream . I find that we often think similarly and I wish I worded things the way you did.

Honestly I feel wronged. Why me? Why do I have to suck at everything when everyone else gets it so naturally? Everyone else with their perfect grades, hair, clothes, Natural Dating Ability

So with all you know from reading this website, you still think there's people who just wake up and they've got 'it'? The myth of the natural is that they just started woo'ing women the second they were born. No... they just got started earlier, possibly had more opportunities, whatever whatever. Everyone is a product of their environment. We discussed this before. It's the same in other areas of life. Did Kobe Bryant, even though he's one of the greats just become the best without practice? LeBron? Jordan?

Like who? My parents? My siblings? My fraternity brothers? Ideally, I am supposed to be able to tell them anything.

I haven't talked to my Mom or Dad in nearly 3 weeks. I talk to my sister pretty much every day.

I could talk to my frat brothers(we're supposed to be able to tell each other anything) but I'm so tired of looking like a weak. lazy, no game little b*tch.

Yes. You confide in your sister, because you feel comfortable with her. But if you share it with people who you think are judging you - parents, fraternity brothers, randoms - I think you'll find a couple things. 1. They're not judging you and if they are it's because you're not making any effort to change your situation or they have an issue themselves and their judgement is to make them feel better. So fvck 'em. You'll be better for it. For not hiding your problems and embracing them. You, and many people, are confused by what it means to be masculine. Taking it to an extreme. You can be masculine and still have problems. I would say the difference between a man and a little b!tch is a man handles his sh!t. If there's a problem, he fixes it. Nuff said. A little betab!tchboi complains about it and does nothing. “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” - MLK Jr back at it again. 2. People will be supportive of you if show them you are making an effort to change through your actions. Sharing your demons makes you stronger. Bottling them up is a false interpretation of stoicism and masculinity. Stoicism, to me, is 'yes I'm dealing with a hardship. But I'm figuring it out and best believe I will come out on top. I'll show you through my actions. Don't expect me to make any excuses for myself or whine because I'm too busy making moves to have any.'

Can you be a bit more specific? I don't know exactly what you mean by that question.

I think what @LiveYourDream is saying is what are you hiding from and pretending isn't a problem? For example, you know you should go to therapy, but you don't.

Do you think that this unresolved emotional mess has any bearing at all on my academics, no matter how slight?

Unless you truly believe you operate like a logical machine, which I don't think you do, then yes. Your inner being is responsible for how you perform unless you're just extremely great at compartmentalizing which is only a good short term coping mechanism and not long term.

Well f*ck them then

Careful. You started down the correct path at the beginning of this sentence. But then took a wrong turn. It is not their fault that you're not qualified for their internship. It is yours. You have to own that. They didn't take your tests for you. They didn't decide your focus for you. Eliminate all traces of the victim's mentality. It is your responsibility to make the best of your situation. Sure, some people are dealt sh!tty situations. Poor, abused, disabled. But you are none of those. And even if you were, it is within your power to deal with them and make them as best as you can. A friend of mine likes to say "all wounds are self inflicted" and while it wasn't meant for this context, I find it relevant here. You have to make the most out of your environment. No one is going to do that for you. Motivation is over rated. Create a plan that you believe in and stick to it, even when you don't feel like it.

 

[nicksaiz65]

OOP helps if you think of it in real world terms. At least it helped me when starting out.

Let's take vehicles for instance.

You could create an abstract Vehicle class with certain property fields and methods:

int numWheels;
int maxSpeed;
double highwayMPG;
double cityMPG;
book isHybrid;

public void Drive();
public void Reverse();


Etc, etc

You cannot create a vehicle, its an abstract base class which the derived classes inherit from.

class Car:Vehicle
class Truck:Vehicle

Then you could have makes which would inherit from the appropriate vehicle type

class Toyota:Car
class Chevrolet:Car

Etc etc...

Each of the derived classes inherit the property and methods of the base class

Since you can't have multiple base classes, the only way to allow multiple inheritance is through implementing interfaces. An interface can be thought of as a contract between the interface and the class using it. In effect, its like a franchise agreement....the interface allows the class to use ot but it requires it implements all of the properties and methods in it. It doesnt care HOW you implement them, only that you do in some way...

Right, that makes sense. We went over that in class last week. I was struggling a bit with the subtle difference between abstract classes and methods.

I know I shouldnt do this, but let's make this discussion practical. I'm going to post the instructions to my program 1. I just couldn't get the damn thing to work, I didn't understand how the pieces fit together.

Just so you guys have more context.

I'll take it down in a couple days just like I did with my looks thread

 

[nicksaiz65]

Instructions

http://imgur.com/a/FAin1Eu

I'll remove this in a couple days so I don't get in trouble.

@marmel75
@Papa_smu

Any thoughts? This is the program I couldn't do, I just want to have context for this discussion.

I just don't understand how this data structure is supposed to look or how I'm supposed to get info from next_pizza_item

 

[nicksaiz65]

I believe so. Its the same reason that a woman should not define your happiness. You should be happy with yourself. If you do all these things for people in your life, and they leave your life, then what was it for? Improve for you, it's your life. But engage your purpose for others - every ant contributes something to the ant hill. Think of most influential people, their message is not a selfish one but one of benefiting the greater good.

You say none of this would be happening if you didn't have bad grades. But it's not really about the grades. The reason for the bad grades is because you haven't mastered yourself. From my point of view anyways, you may think differently and if so lmk. But the way I'm seeing it is that it all comes back to inner game.

So I'm reading through the above posts... let's dive in.

First, thanks @LiveYourDream . I find that we often think similarly and I wish I worded things the way you did.



So with all you know from reading this website, you still think there's people who just wake up and they've got 'it'? The myth of the natural is that they just started woo'ing women the second they were born. No... they just got started earlier, possibly had more opportunities, whatever whatever. Everyone is a product of their environment. We discussed this before. It's the same in other areas of life. Did Kobe Bryant, even though he's one of the greats just become the best without practice? LeBron? Jordan?



Yes. You confide in your sister, because you feel comfortable with her. But if you share it with people who you think are judging you - parents, fraternity brothers, randoms - I think you'll find a couple things. 1. They're not judging you and if they are it's because you're not making any effort to change your situation or they have an issue themselves and their judgement is to make them feel better. So fvck 'em. You'll be better for it. For not hiding your problems and embracing them. You, and many people, are confused by what it means to be masculine. Taking it to an extreme. You can be masculine and still have problems. I would say the difference between a man and a little b!tch is a man handles his sh!t. If there's a problem, he fixes it. Nuff said. A little betab!tchboi complains about it and does nothing. “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” - MLK Jr back at it again. 2. People will be supportive of you if show them you are making an effort to change through your actions. Sharing your demons makes you stronger. Bottling them up is a false interpretation of stoicism and masculinity. Stoicism, to me, is 'yes I'm dealing with a hardship. But I'm figuring it out and best believe I will come out on top. I'll show you through my actions. Don't expect me to make any excuses for myself or whine because I'm too busy making moves to have any.'


I think what @LiveYourDream is saying is what are you hiding from and pretending isn't a problem? For example, you know you should go to therapy, but you don't.


Unless you truly believe you operate like a logical machine, which I don't think you do, then yes. Your inner being is responsible for how you perform unless you're just extremely great at compartmentalizing which is only a good short term coping mechanism and not long term.


Careful. You started down the correct path at the beginning of this sentence. But then took a wrong turn. It is not their fault that you're not qualified for their internship. It is yours. You have to own that. They didn't take your tests for you. They didn't decide your focus for you. Eliminate all traces of the victim's mentality. It is your responsibility to make the best of your situation. Sure, some people are dealt sh!tty situations. Poor, abused, disabled. But you are none of those. And even if you were, it is within your power to deal with them and make them as best as you can. A friend of mine likes to say "all wounds are self inflicted" and while it wasn't meant for this context, I find it relevant here. You have to make the most out of your environment. No one is going to do that for you. Motivation is over rated. Create a plan that you believe in and stick to it, even when you don't feel like it.

I think another reason I struggled is because I didn't know why I was in college. I was just there.

Now at least I know: I want to be a CS Professional and make money.

And exactly. I've got to commit to fixing this instead of complaining and crying. I honestly think I have a good plan in place though. I do talk about this stuff with my sister, but that's it. How would you even broach conversations like this?

It's 100 percent my fault: I wish I had stayed on this website since freshman year. Then I would've realized the truth sooner. My point is, I'll be a CS Professional even with my awful grades. One of the members in my band is an engineer. His grades were awful: he still succeeded. I'm not excusing poor grades, I'm just saying I'm going to graduate and succeed no matter what.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Hilarious how this program makes ten times more sense AFTER it's due. If I just understood the shape of this data structure and how you pull info from next_pizza_item I could totally do it. I knew how to do everything else

 

[GrowingPains]

I want to be a CS Professional and make money.

What will you do contribute to society by doing this? What will you contribute to the ant hill? Are you just putting a piece of sand in place because that's what someone told you to do to live a happy life in the hill or are you doing it because you want the ant hill to be better, stronger, and your contribution will make it so?

How would you even broach conversations like this?

"Hey Nick how's it going, bro?"
"It's... Okay."
"What do you mean?"
"I've just been having a tough time with xyz... I'm trying this and this but it isn't working. Have you experienced anything like that?"

"Hey bro can you chat? I just need an ear."

Idk maybe these things seem weird out of context but if you offer it, it becomes part of the conversation and you will talk about it.

 

[nicksaiz65]

About ten years ago, a client of mine referred a friend/business associate of his to me. Short rough version goes something like this...
This business man, late forties or so, could not figure out how to get and sustain true happiness. He was on a quest. He was seeking true lasting happiness. He couldn't catch it and sustain it. He was at a loss. He researched it and consulted lots of experts about it. He tried everything he could think of. He was at a loss. His business associate referred him to me. That person had it. He could see it. He said he could see I had it also. He wanted to know what he could do to have it and sustain it too. He explained...

He had tried all kinds of things throughout his young life. Couldn't get it.
He made his first million thought that would finally make him truly happy. Nope
Found a himself a beautiful woman. Nope.
Got Married. Nope.
Had Kids. Nope
Founded a Company. Nope.
Got Divorced. Nope.
Was worth ten million dollars. Nope.
Got a new upgraded wife. Nope
Sold a company. Nope
New kids with the new wife. Nope.
Started another company. Nope.
on our conversation went....

I am not a who's who person. I didn't see him any differently or relate with him any differently than any other client.
A few days later I saw the man who referred him to me. He told me that the man who had come to see me was currently worth over a hundred million dollars. There he was in my office the previous week...still trying with all that he was, and all that he had available too him, to find true happiness.

So @nicksaiz65 Read what you wrote again... What do you think now???

I feel like we're drifting closer and closer to the meaning of life conversation lol

So material things won't give me happiness. If they won't, then what on Earth will?

I always used to joke "They say money can't buy me happiness, but it can buy video games and synth plugins and that's close enough"

 

[nicksaiz65]

What will you do contribute to society by doing this? What will you contribute to the ant hill? Are you just putting a piece of sand in place because that's what someone told you to do to live a happy life in the hill or are you doing it because you want the ant hill to be better, stronger, and your contribution will make it so?




"Hey Nick how's it going, bro?"
"It's... Okay."
"What do you mean?"
"I've just been having a tough time with xyz... I'm trying this and this but it isn't working. Have you experienced anything like that?"

"Hey bro can you chat? I just need an ear."

Idk maybe these things seem weird out of context but if you offer it, it becomes part of the conversation and you will talk about it.

I see what you mean by the conversation. Really, I'm supposed to be able to tell the people that I mentioned anything so yeah.

And honestly, I don't know yet. I would say "to be a DJ because a DJ has a nice job and programming is cool." But I just wanna build cool stuff and be a great programmer I suppose. I hope it isn't too late for me

 

[GrowingPains]

So material things won't give me happiness. If they won't, then what on Earth will

And honestly, I don't know yet. I would say "to be a DJ because a DJ has a nice job and programming is cool." But I just wanna build cool stuff and be a great programmer I suppose. I hope it isn't too late for me

Purpose.

Purpose will get you through long nights of studying your along your why am I here.

Purpose will get you up in the morning and make you love your job.

Purpose makes you feel needed, valued, need you have something to offer the world to make it a better place.

This is just my perspective. The people I admire and the parts of my life that i find to be most memorable align with this. I can't define what happiness is for you. This is what it is for me right now. Working towards contributing something to the ant hill because I know it will make loving in it better for other people. Solving problems with no expectation of thanks or acknowledgement. Simply because I think it's what should be done for the greater good. Meeting people and creating meaningful relationships along the way. Understanding and mastering myself.

I'm sure my definition will change as I experience life. But I think it's a good starting point. My point being that I believe if you define your purpose things become clearer and you'll begin to experience happiness when you exercise that thing whatever it is.

This is something you have to define for yourself. Whether it aligns with what I'm saying or is your own entirely different definition of happiness. You gotta dig deep sit with it and observe the world around you.

So I'll leave you to it. Godspeed.

 

[marmel75]

What will you do contribute to society by doing this? What will you contribute to the ant hill? Are you just putting a piece of sand in place because that's what someone told you to do to live a happy life in the hill or are you doing it because you want the ant hill to be better, stronger, and your contribution will make it so?




"Hey Nick how's it going, bro?"
"It's... Okay."
"What do you mean?"
"I've just been having a tough time with xyz... I'm trying this and this but it isn't working. Have you experienced anything like that?"

"Hey bro can you chat? I just need an ear."

Idk maybe these things seem weird out of context but if you offer it, it becomes part of the conversation and you will talk about it.

OP, if you are only doing this for money you will be in for a rude awakening...

You will be up against people obsessed with programming(like me) who spend hours a day doing in in their free time even after work, who would do it for free even if they didn't get a dime for it, and who literally have withdrawal symptoms if they spend a day not doing anything...

All I can say is good luck if you aren't really passionate about it.

 

[nicksaiz65]

OP, if you are only doing this for money you will be in for a rude awakening...

You will be up against people obsessed with programming(like me) who spend hours a day doing in in their free time even after work, who would do it for free even if they didn't get a dime for it, and who literally have withdrawal symptoms if they spend a day not doing anything...

All I can say is good luck if you aren't really passionate about it.

I think programming is really cool: definitely what I want to do. Classes are just kicking my butt

I'm not gonna give up until I graduate and have some experience with an internship/my personal projects. That'll put me well on my way to being a decent programmer at the very least.

Any thoughts on that program? Am I an idiot for not being able to figure it out?

 

[nicksaiz65]

@nicksaiz65 Marmel is sharing a HUGE gift in this reality check!!! HUGE!!! LIFE DEFINING HUGE!!! Consider what he has shared DEEPLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is a gift that can save you YEARS, yes YEARS of your life!!!! IF you are not passionate, TRULY PASSIONATE, willing to do that kind of work for FREE...just because YOU LOVE IT and are PASSIONATE about it....then STOP AND TRULY TAKE TIME AND RECONSIDER what is actually TRUE for you!!

There is no wrong or right.
IF you are going into the work for the IMAGE...you can say you are a _____specialist.
IF you are going into it to make BIG money.
IF you are going into it because it sounds good and you don't know what else you would do.
IF you are going into it because you have invested so many years and $$$ in school and you are worried what it would LOOK LIKE if you stopped or changed your mind

If YOU @nicksaiz65 are anything other than INTENSELY PASSIONATE about it.....PAUSE.....PAUSE!!!!

Marmel is offering you a HUGE, HUGE, HUGE reality check.....HUGE!!!!! Do NOT underestimate it's value!!!!!!

If you are NOT passionate....and you OWN THAT NOW...you will SAVE YOURSELF YEARS...YEARS of regret and unhappiness to come.

I do not know what is true for you. I am not pushing any direction. I am not!

BE 1000000% honest with YOURSELF!!!!

Are you in it because you LOVE IT?????

Are you in it for the $$$$$????
Are you in it because you think it will sound cool to others????
Are you in it because you think it's a good DJ profession???

Are you in it because you FEEEEEL PASSIONATATELY about it???

Would you do it for FREE??????

Marmel gave you GOLD HERE!!! Do not underestimate it's value!!!

1000's of people find out years into their career what he just shared. THEY WISH someone had told them earlier and they changed course.

YOU CANNOT FAKE TRUE HAPPINESS! YOU CANNOT FAKE PASSION!

Only you know what is true for you!

Consider it DEEEEPLY!!!!

I honestly think programming is what I want to do... I'm gonna be stubborn and stick with my path lol.

I've just gotten distracted but I swear on my life that I will finish

 

[nicksaiz65]

I am not arguing your choice..understand that.

I want to clarify something.
Choosing to finish your degree because you started it and it's important to you to complete it, for a sense of self-respect is NOT the topic at hand.

It is FAR BIGGER AND FAR MORE IMPORTANT than that, in my view, anyway.

As in what I want to do for the rest of my life?

I think there's no reason not to complete the degree. I've taken out a good amount of classes.

If it turns out I hate programming I could always be a full time musician. I was going to do that because I love it and it could boost my income on the side. But if I need to I could go full time.

 

[nicksaiz65]

If you LOVE what you do so much that others have to pull you away from it is one thing.
Saying you have to effort, effort, effort, effort to make yourself do it, but you will persevere no matter what, is a whole different world.

I was under the impression that school wasn't supposed to be fun, right? I think programming is cool but I have to put in that effort lol. There's the discipline thing we were talking about

 

[nicksaiz65]

Isn't that the point in investing even more YEARS of your life and $$$$, so you can become GREAT at what you WANT to spend MORE YEARS of your life, because you ENJOY IT and are PASSIONATE about it????

True. That and wanting to succeed in general. My main motivation ATM is that degree honestly

 

[nicksaiz65]

Because...

I want to show that I'm capable of learning this stuff and I won't let it beat me