My life - Part 2: giving up dating/women, filling the void, getting older

[user252009]

OP, if you’re in your mid 30’s like me, women will look at you from the provider POV and ask themselves “am I going to be secure with this guy in 5-10 years when I want to have children”. Will they be? They cannot be sure, as you’re mid 30’s and living a student lifestyle in a dorm.

 

[corrector]

That's my situation, reality check. I'm not o


Bokanovsky is right, I don't think he said that to put me down, but to wake me up, reality check.
The good thing is, like you said I'm doing something to change to situation, I take my education seriously, not for women but for myself.
The bad thing is that I be pissed off for a while.
I accept my situation and I'm already in school enrolled in a program that might gave a great return in 3 years. That's a good start I think.

The funny thing is that a lot of 30something men would like to be in my shoes right now, I'm free as a bird, no children, very little debt, no responsibilities, look on point. But with women it could be better.

You will take a break for at least 3 years?

 

[stringpuller]

it does work like that. I can attest. Girls will make the effort. though I agree, looks alone aren’t a garuanty. need at least some game not to fvck it up. and girls will happily bang in a car or even in your room (even if you live with Mom). even older 25+ don’t care. but ultimately, everyone’s experience is different.

Yup. Bunch of self defeating crap in here. Overthinking. Anxiety creation.
If OP put as much effort into this book he posted in this thread into his innergame he wouldnt be posting this stuff.
OP start enjoying your life, have fun and just hookup when it presents itself.
Its part of the game.
This stuff is not personal stop making it personal.
Overthinking game is a frame kill

 

[Velasco]

Saw an interesting thread yesterday from a 22 year old girl living in Russia, complaining about 30+ year old men trying to get with her, online and thru daygame.

However, it seems like this 10+ year old age gap more generally only becomes an issue, once the girl is past age 21 (making the sweet spot: 18-21).

Which would answer the question BPH posted in another thread

Whether you decide to lie or not is up to you, but I still wonder WHY this is happening. All throughout middle school, high school, college, etc the hottest girls dated the older guys because the men their age aren't mature or whatever

 

[mikedee]

Saw an interesting thread yesterday from a 22 year old girl living in Russia, complaining about 30+ year old men trying to get with her, online and thru daygame.

However, it seems like this 10+ year old age gap more generally only becomes an issue, once the girl is past age 21 (making the sweet spot: 18-21).

Which would answer the question BPH posted in another thread

I'm sure Polina wouldn't complain if a 30+ Chad driving a Ferrari would invite her to go on a trip in the Maldives.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

so girls don’t like older guys. but some do. don’t worry about it.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Building on @Velasco and @Hamurabimbi's posts, Blackdragon breaks down the types of young women here: https://pdfcoffee.com/blackdragon-attract-and-date-younger-womenpdf-pdf-free.html

OP, you want the type 2 young woman (early 20's) who are naturally attracted to older men. Take a break for now and when you come back, cast a wider net and screen quickly for high interest. Be prepared to next a lot of the ones you talk to.

If you're going to mess with 30 something women, screen hard for sexual interest.

 

[mikedee]

Building on @Velasco and @Hamurabimbi's posts, Blackdragon breaks down the types of young women here: https://pdfcoffee.com/blackdragon-attract-and-date-younger-womenpdf-pdf-free.html

OP, you want the type 2 young woman (early 20's) who are naturally attracted to older men. Take a break for now and when you come back, cast a wider net and screen quickly for high interest. Be prepared to next a lot of the ones you talk to.

If you're going to mess with 30 something women, screen hard for sexual interest.

Looks like a good read, thanks man

 

[Pedrito0906]

This is what I'm doing.
But tell me, what does the average 35yo who works a steady job (in a bank for example) have to offer except some stability, his own place, a car maybe and 2 weeks off per year. To me, he doesn't have much to offer. I can afford to go out, to dress nice, to travel a bit, I just can't afford to buy a bmw live alone/have my own place right now.
So sayin: you have nothing to offer is a big statement, compared to? The millionnaire 35yo? Yes I agree. Compared the the guy who works 40h at the bank doing a job he doesnt really like? I see no difference. Nothing to offer for a women whi is looking for a provider? Yeah you're right. A women who has her **** together, has her own place. No difference in my opinion.
I get your point though.

At 35 you shouldn't be in college, you pretty much wasted your 20s chasing tail and living like a rockstar. At 35 you should be making bank with a business, or a trade that could help you having business in the near future, having your own place, having interesting hobbies with interesting friends.

If you have a good body you're okay for the ONS where they don't know you, as soon as they know you're the 35yo who lives in a dorm, studying with the 18yo counterparts, you turn into the creepy loser guy, who wasted your 20s living the millionaire life. And I'm pretty sure you project that on your dates.

What are you going to school for? Some bull$hit art degree? Also why aren't you studying some trade like car mechanic or electrician that can help you create your own business. At 35 you shouldn't be studying a bachelor's degree bro.

 

[mikedee]

At 35 you shouldn't be in college, you pretty wasted your 20s chasing tail and living like a rockstar. At 35 you should be making bank with a business, or a trade that could help you having business in the near future, having your own place, having interesting hobbies with interesting friends.

If you have a good body you're okay for the ONS where they don't know you, as soon as they know you're the 35yo who lives in a dorm, studying with the 18yo counterparts, you turn into the creepy loser guy, who wasted your 20s living the millionaire life. And I'm pretty sure you project that on your dates.

No I don't think so, I enjoyed while I was young and I still enjoy it, but with women, I must admit it's more difficult. I didn't waste anything, I did what I had to do, I won't have any regrets. At least I tried, not like 99% of people. i have good stories.
You, you date girls that stink

 

[Pedrito0906]

No I don't think so, I enjoyed while I was young and I still enjoy it, but with women, I must admit it's more difficult. I didn't waste anything, I did what I had to do, I won't have any regrets. At least I tried, not like 99% of people. i have good stories.
You, you date girls that stink

Its fine if you don't regret it, but you did waste having a good career with money to partying, if not you wouldn't be here.

What are you studying now?

 

[mikedee]

Its fine if you don't regret it, but you did waste having a good career with money to partying, if not you wouldn't be here.

What are you studying now?

I didn't party, I focused on my DJ and photographer career. It "didn't work" unfortunately. What's the point of having a good career with money if you don't like what you do? That is a waste of time, life is short man. I don't want to be on my death bed and think about my life like: "man what a boring life, I should have done this or that". I do everything I want. everything I wanted to do, I did it.
I'm studying business.

 

[Pedrito0906]

I didn't party, I focused on my DJ and photographer career. It "didn't work" unfortunately. What's the point of having a good career with money if you don't like what you do? That is a waste of time, life is short man. I don't want to be on my death bed and think about my life like: "man what a boring life, I should have done this or that". I do everything I want. everything I wanted to do, I did it.
I'm studying business.

A career you don't with money like helps you making a business of your liking. Wby didn't you make a business of DJ or Photography? You didn't like it? What are you gonna be doing with the business degree? Working for another person's company?

I studied engineering, but I should have studied car mechanic and have my own business. I'm 33 now and to start to get experience as a car mechanic will be tough, I wanna do it as part time on the weekends. Maybe you could have your management company. Best luck to you.

 

[mikedee]

Wby didn't you make a business of DJ or Photography? You didn't like it? What are you gonna be doing with the business degree? Working for another person's company?

Why? Because I don't want to struggle all the time. Photography (especially fashion photography) is hard man, let alone DJing... It doesn't last forever. I might work for a company for a while, but my plan is to be self employed.
Mechanic is cool.
Cheers

 

[corrector]

I didn't party, I focused on my DJ and photographer career. It "didn't work" unfortunately. What's the point of having a good career with money if you don't like what you do? That is a waste of time, life is short man. I don't want to be on my death bed and think about my life like: "man what a boring life, I should have done this or that". I do everything I want. everything I wanted to do, I did it.
I'm studying business.

That logic does not make sense. You are are going to have regrets on your death-bed if you say, I had a great time in my 20s, but everything sucked afterwards and went from bad to worst. If your situation doesn't improve soon, soon the recent memories or where you are now will be more dominant and the memories earlier will start fading off or become nostalgic before they just burn-out. At the end of the day, if it's not sustainable, then if you are on your death-bed in your 60s and 70s or whatever age (ie of course that can happen at anytime, but I'm just playing with your logic on your own turf for argument sake), you are more likely going to feel like you wasted your life than you had some exciting tiems in your 20s. Lets be realistic about that. By the time you hit 40 its all a faded memory that's gone if there isnt' anything good between then and those later ages.

 

[BPH]

Saw an interesting thread yesterday from a 22 year old girl living in Russia, complaining about 30+ year old men trying to get with her, online and thru daygame.

However, it seems like this 10+ year old age gap more generally only becomes an issue, once the girl is past age 21 (making the sweet spot: 18-21).

Which would answer the question BPH posted in another thread

Ehh...I mean yeah it's got some insights but this is just one aggressively average chick in Russia who thinks this. I will agree that 30+ has a different stigma because that is literally an entirely new decade as far as the age bracket.

Building on @Velasco and @Hamurabimbi's posts, Blackdragon breaks down the types of young women here: https://pdfcoffee.com/blackdragon-attract-and-date-younger-womenpdf-pdf-free.html

OP, you want the type 2 young woman (early 20's) who are naturally attracted to older men. Take a break for now and when you come back, cast a wider net and screen quickly for high interest. Be prepared to next a lot of the ones you talk to.

If you're going to mess with 30 something women, screen hard for sexual interest.

Holy hell I was expecting a blog post or something...not a 200 page book.

 

[mikedee]

That logic does not make sense. You are are going to have regrets on your death-bed if you say, I had a great time in my 20s, but everything sucked afterwards and went from bad to worst. If your situation doesn't improve soon, soon the recent memories or where you are now will be more dominant and the memories earlier will start fading off or become nostalgic before they just burn-out. At the end of the day, if it's not sustainable, then if you are on your death-bed in your 60s and 70s or whatever age (ie of course that can happen at anytime, but I'm just playing with your logic on your own turf for argument sake), you are more likely going to feel like you wasted your life than you had some exciting tiems in your 20s. Lets be realistic about that. By the time you hit 40 its all a faded memory that's gone if there isnt' anything good between then and those later ages.

The only thing that sucks right now is women. The rest is good, I'm having a good time. It's not perfect, but like I said, a lot of 30+ would kill to be in my shoes.

I live abroad, very little debt, no children, no wife, student, no "responsibilities", I can do whatever I want. Not that bad.

 

[logicallefty]

I'm sure Polina wouldn't complain if a 30+ Chad driving a Ferrari would invite her to go on a trip in the Maldives.

No she wouldnt. I can see why older guys like the hot factor of girls in the early 20s. But for me personally I cant stand the immaturity. They are energy draining children to me. If i was similar age i prolly wouldn’t feel this way.

 

[mikedee]

No she wouldnt. I can see why older guys like the hot factor of girls in the early 20s. But for me personally I cant stand the immaturity. They are energy draining children to me. If i was similar age i prolly wouldn’t feel this way.

To be honest, they are immature even at 35...

 

[Velasco]

Ehh...I mean yeah it's got some insights but this is just one aggressively average chick in Russia who thinks this

One girl who thinks what? She pointed out that a lot of her friends when they were 18 dated older guys. Which is what you also noticed in middle school, high school, college. I shared this twitter thread with another guy in his 30s who hits on college girls, and said really the only ones that give him sh1t for his age are 23-24 year olds.