She been texting me about the idea, and I'd do it. She'd prefer her, another girl and me over another guy but I'm not sure how to approach this :s. I asked her if she considered it cheating and she said no, but I'm not sure about it all.. thoughts?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
My girlfriend wants a threesome...
- Thread starter JayCee23
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
strong like bull
Senior Don Juan
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for what its worth, i couldnt remain exclusive with a girl who suggested threesomes or doing stuff with other people. for me to be in a relationship, i have to respect the girl in order to love her. she has to have class.
HOWEVER, if i was single or just casually dating and a very attractive girlfriend wanted me to have a fun night with her and her very attractive girlfriend...
i agree with deep dish in that you could probably forget about getting married to this chick.
but if youre just looking for fun... heck now that you know you cant truly settle with her anyways, you could just make the most of it.
-slb
HOWEVER, if i was single or just casually dating and a very attractive girlfriend wanted me to have a fun night with her and her very attractive girlfriend...
i agree with deep dish in that you could probably forget about getting married to this chick.
but if youre just looking for fun... heck now that you know you cant truly settle with her anyways, you could just make the most of it.
-slb
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
I.A.F.Y.B.
Master Don Juan
Is this some fantasy or thought when she was high??
Sounds like a red flag to me. What? You aint givin it to her good enough so she needs someone else added to the equation. It seems that way...
I agree with Deep Dish and strong like bull. She is not girlfriend material.
Sounds like a red flag to me. What? You aint givin it to her good enough so she needs someone else added to the equation. It seems that way...
I agree with Deep Dish and strong like bull. She is not girlfriend material.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
What does a girlfriend have to do to please sosuave? It's impossible.
I would never consider a girl to be long-term material if she didn't want an occasional threesome.
I would never consider a girl to be long-term material if she didn't want an occasional threesome.
darkstarrr
Senior Don Juan
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Deep Dish said:
CosignedI.A.F.Y.B. said:
It's as good as over. Call her your gf to her face but in private start looking for another pouch to swing into. For the immediate meantime be open to whatever. Do her friend raw if she is clean. Maybe she is a better lay and you can start seeing her on the side. See this as an opportunity to take a few steps up as a man. If you play this right you can have them both fiending for you.
Good luck.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Crazy Asian
Master Don Juan
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can someone explain why this is a red flag?
Michele l'Arcangelo
Master Don Juan
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Because people would categorize her with a sex freak or nympho who can't control her urges, and they would automatically assume shes going to get her relief from other sources other than the OP... which is a rational assumption to watch out for a red flag.Crazy Asian said:
They say the relationship is doomed because she's already experimenting in other ways and involving other people. Or, perhaps your subconscious wouldn't be able to stand the thought of your girlfriend doing those things involving other people, and your mind will always be uneasy, AKA: insecure... then it leads to the path to neediness/clinginess.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Ok, when WOULDN'T this be a red flag?
What if a DJ wanted a threesome? Would the same apply to him, or would that just make him suave and adventurous?
And how exactly do we know she's been experimenting with this behind the OPs back? This is all just mental masturbation. It could even be a test on the OPs part, or maybe she's an idiot and blurts out stupid things.
More info is needed.
What if a DJ wanted a threesome? Would the same apply to him, or would that just make him suave and adventurous?
And how exactly do we know she's been experimenting with this behind the OPs back? This is all just mental masturbation. It could even be a test on the OPs part, or maybe she's an idiot and blurts out stupid things.
More info is needed.
SmoothTalker
Master Don Juan
I have to disagree with most of you and agree with Bible.
From what the OP said this is not such a bad situation. I think it's one of those fantasies most women have, along with rape (surprisingly). She just happens to be more honest and forward about it, which could be a bad thing meaning they have good open communication about sex.
I also think the fact that she wants it with another girl is a huge plus, where as if it was a second guy, I think that would be a major red flag.
From what the OP said this is not such a bad situation. I think it's one of those fantasies most women have, along with rape (surprisingly). She just happens to be more honest and forward about it, which could be a bad thing meaning they have good open communication about sex.
I also think the fact that she wants it with another girl is a huge plus, where as if it was a second guy, I think that would be a major red flag.
I.A.F.Y.B.
Master Don Juan
Bible Belt is a girl?Raikojo17 said:
theunflushables
Master Don Juan
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- May 28, 2007
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This all going to end in tears.
But, thats if it actually happend. Every girl I've ever dated has brought up the idea of a threesome. Only one ever carried through with it. And she got jealous when I stuck it to the other one. We were over the next day.
I think it is something girls feel that they have to bring up to make them look sexy and adventerous.
But, thats if it actually happend. Every girl I've ever dated has brought up the idea of a threesome. Only one ever carried through with it. And she got jealous when I stuck it to the other one. We were over the next day.
I think it is something girls feel that they have to bring up to make them look sexy and adventerous.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.