ShizamDaMan
Master Don Juan
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- Mar 26, 2003
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Yeah, we are. It's true. Just look at what we put the poor people at Minuteman Pizza up to:
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
My friends and I are jerks
- Thread starter ShizamDaMan
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
diablo
Master Don Juan
So you and your friend had a good time taking turns eating a penis?
Funny picture.
Funny picture.
ShizamDaMan
Master Don Juan
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It was MANTASTIC!
But seriously, that thing was undercooked due to it's girth. It's still in the fridge. Oh the havoc I could cause with a phallus-shaped lump of sausage meat
ThreeStorms
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2002
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I'll never eat pizza again.
Warning to all DO NOT LOOK AT THIS PICTURE IF YOU LIKE PIZZA!!
Yeah, I am a sensitive one
Warning to all DO NOT LOOK AT THIS PICTURE IF YOU LIKE PIZZA!!
Yeah, I am a sensitive one
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Jake-inator
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2005
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:crackup:
That is the most disgusting, sick, twisted, joke i've ever seen. Congrats.
That is the most disgusting, sick, twisted, joke i've ever seen. Congrats.
ShizamDaMan
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2003
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Nah, I actually used a faux-German voice when I ordered the pizza. Think the yellow plutonian from Aqua Teen. I told them my name was Gunter Wernon, pronouncing the W as a V in my best imitation of an accent. So they just put it as Vernon.