"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

My dad has bladder cancer

BPH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 8, 2010
Messages
3,916
Reaction score
3,022
Location
Wilmington, DE
He just got back from an appointment after having blood in his pee for a little while.

He doesn't recall whether or not it's in the muscle walls, but based on what he's told me, the doctor suggested treatments to extract the cells, which leads me to believe it's still highly treatable.

I wanted to see if anybody here has had cancer, or maybe has family who's had cancer, and recovered. I understand that doing a water fast and doing one's best to be in a positive mood (laughter, something to look forward to, fun activities) has proven to be very helpful.

Just seeing if anybody here knows anything.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Plinco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
3,084
Reaction score
1,945
Age
42
Location
Florida
I'm sorry to hear that. Hopefully this was caught early enough so it's more treatable.

My understanding is that cancer is basically a parasite acting on an unhealthy body. Look up Dr. Eric Berg on youtube (here's one of his videos on cancer), in my experience he's well informed in other areas with health.

 

Gamisch

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2022
Messages
5,350
Reaction score
6,256
Damn bro...that's really unfortunate. Let's pray he'll get better soon.

Spend time with him, appreciate him and spoil him where you can. I wish him all the best and may God bless him with a fast recovery!
 

Doctor Europeo

Moderator
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Messages
4,429
Reaction score
4,819
Location
Mexico
Sorry to hear. I lost my dad to cancer.

He did the traditional chimoterapy and radioterapy but that didnt cure him. It was already stage 3 or 4 by the time he caught it.
 

characternote

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 31, 2018
Messages
1,259
Reaction score
1,473
I had it young. Bladder. In my late 20's. Never even smoked or anything so the docs were very surprised. Just bad luck.
Had the tumour operated on and had a kind of chemo solution put inside me.
Had checkups for like 5 years in a row and so far it's come back all clear each time.
I don't know anything like as much as I should bearing in mind i'm the one who had it! I also forgot a lot of what I researched at the time.
But yes, whether it has gone through the muscular wall effects things a bit. But try not to panic too much yet (easier said that done!). Even if it's through the wall, there's things they can do depending on the stage
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Prepostereax

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 11, 2025
Messages
224
Reaction score
273
I know someone who's had bladder cancer / in remission
So yeah, totally treatable

Obv I don't press on details
But a nice lady will insert a tube in his d!ck and pump him with chemo
Expect some hair loss. Haven't noticed other symptoms, but maybe short-term fatigue?
Still has sex drive
 

BPH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 8, 2010
Messages
3,916
Reaction score
3,022
Location
Wilmington, DE
Some more information...

It looks like the cancer is stage 3. The place that would schedule him is closed, so I guess he'll have to call/wait to be called tomorrow.

During these appointments and tests, it's been revealed that he also has an aortic aneurysm. I'm waiting to get the full report from my mom about whether it's abdominal or thoracic, as well as the size.

He just turned 69 last month, has never been a smoker, and is generally active with an average diet, so all of this has been a surprise.
 

plumber

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 1, 2022
Messages
1,023
Reaction score
875
you will know more when more test and info comes to you. if he needs help, and you can help him that's nice. if i have trouble with something serious usually one of my kids helps out, usually a lot. getting the help is nice, but the feeling that its coming from the kids (adults kids) is really special. i have known some that recover and some that don't.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
16,974
Reaction score
19,305
Oh man...that really sucks, I'm sorry to hear that.

Did they let him know what stage? Or have they not gotten all that sorted out yet? Typically that's when they'll have a better idea of how to treat it and the timeline, etc...
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

Clockwerk50

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 5, 2023
Messages
2,312
Reaction score
2,346
Age
41
I’m sorry, man.

I lost my grandfather in the 1990s to prostate cancer. He was in his 60s, and according to my family, he had been peeing blood for a while but never bothered going to the doctor.

One of my girl’s in-laws recently chose assisted death after dealing with lymphoma for six years. Near the end, he was on experimental drugs because the cancer would only stay away for a couple of months before coming back.

Her grandmother also died of cancer. She had colon cancer at a younger age, then breast cancer, and then colon cancer again. Another girl I was seeing lost her dad at a young age (she never said how), and her mom had cancer in her head. She lost so much hair that she had to wear bandages on her scalp because the skin was breaking down and looked like an open wound.

Most of my family members, however, have died from heart-related issues.

Either way, I’m probably not much help and don’t know much about the subject, but it seems like many forms of cancer are highly treatable these days.
 

BPH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 8, 2010
Messages
3,916
Reaction score
3,022
Location
Wilmington, DE
Oh man...that really sucks, I'm sorry to hear that.

Did they let him know what stage? Or have they not gotten all that sorted out yet? Typically that's when they'll have a better idea of how to treat it and the timeline, etc...
Stage 3. We won't know whether it's localized to the bladder until he goes back in to have it removed; at least that's my understanding.

Everything we know so far is based on a dye test and CAT scan.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
16,974
Reaction score
19,305
Stage 3. We won't know whether it's localized to the bladder until he goes back in to have it removed; at least that's my understanding.

Everything we know so far is based on a dye test and CAT scan.
Gotcha...well, it's definitely better than stage 4, and the good news is that survival rates are actively improving with new treatments and immunotherapies, so hopefully that's something he can benefit from...
 
Last edited:

BPH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 8, 2010
Messages
3,916
Reaction score
3,022
Location
Wilmington, DE
Gotcha...well, it's definitely better than stage 4 or 5, and the good news is that survival rates are actively improving with new treatments and immunotherapies, so hopefully that's something he can benefit from...
I'm optimistic. I'll be more optimistic when we get news whether it's confined to the bladder.

My mom was a nurse, so she's taking it the worst. She heard "stage 3" and has been very upset.
 

BillyPilgrim

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 9, 2021
Messages
6,132
Reaction score
4,957
Sorry to hear OP! Best of luck to your pops.

You will want him drinking alkaline water, avoiding processed sugar, and taking in as much vitamin C as he can. A little fasting is good but you also need nutrients.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

MatureDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
12,738
Reaction score
5,156
Urothelial cancer has been ominous in my family tree. My understanding is that for an otherwise generally healthy patient, the new drug Keytruda is very effective, at least in concert with other chemotherapy Rx.

I've had a different urological cancer (mixed-cell non-seminoma testicular tumor, Stage 1), so I know the general song. Once the diseased primary organ (or part of it) is excised, it is then a question of curing any metastatis (i.e., cancer cells leaving the primary organ, and finding a new place). The lymph nodes were designed to filter out stuff, and so the next step for cancer is to go there, at which point it's considered Stage 2. Stage 3 is when it gets into the lungs or brain, and Stage 4 is anywhere else.

Because Keytruda is nowhere near as nasty as earlier chemotherapy, I would think that giving it adjuvantly (i.e., with no sign of metastatis) is standard now. Getting chest X-rays & CT exams (this will be for the retroperitoneal lymph nodes, that are in the lower back) for surveillance will be often; the dye is radioactive iodine for contrast for the CT scanner. I'm not sure if a lymph node disection is a standard therapy these days, but this operation entails taking out ALL of the guts so that the surgeon can get to the back from the inside :eek: :eek: :eek:, and remove a bunch of lymph noides - and like it sounds, it's pretty rough. For my cancer, I did neither adjuvant chemotherapy nor the lymph node disection, just doing surveillance, and I'm still around :).
 
Last edited:

MatureDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
12,738
Reaction score
5,156
Gotcha...well, it's definitely better than stage 4 or 5, and the good news is that survival rates are actively improving with new treatments and immunotherapies, so hopefully that's something he can benefit from...
I've never heard of Stage 5. :eek:
 

MatureDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
12,738
Reaction score
5,156
I lost my grandfather in the 1990s to prostate cancer. He was in his 60s, and according to my family, he had been peeing blood for a while but never bothered going to the doctor.

<snip>

Either way, I’m probably not much help and don’t know much about the subject, but it seems like many forms of cancer are highly treatable these days.
The big thing for treating cancer is to get it looked at EARLY. There is a new chemotherapy Rx called Keytruda which sure seems like a component of a silver bullet, at least for folks that don't have any co-morbidities.
 

Clockwerk50

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 5, 2023
Messages
2,312
Reaction score
2,346
Age
41
The big thing for treating cancer is to get it looked at EARLY. There is a new chemotherapy Rx called Keytruda which sure seems like a component of a silver bullet, at least for folks that don't have any co-morbidities.
Are there any symptoms or clues that can identify whether you have it or not at one of those early stages?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Top