My best friend is flirting with my girlfriend and she subtly reciprocates

[CornbreadFed]

I've been close friends with one of my best friends for over 20 years. Two years ago, I introduced my girlfriend to him and his girlfriend. This marked the first time I officially introduced a girl to anyone, as I generally keep my life private. However, I liked her and thought it was time to involve her with my friends.

All I really need to read. There's a reason you kept women private from your friends. Whether you cut off your friend is your decision, but I wouldn't definitely bring your partners around him again.

 

[stringpuller]

Hi,

I've been close friends with one of my best friends for over 20 years. Two years ago, I introduced my girlfriend to him and his girlfriend. This marked the first time I officially introduced a girl to anyone, as I generally keep my life private. However, I liked her and thought it was time to involve her with my friends.

During a dinner at his place, my friend started making disrespectful jokes about me, questioning her choice, and continued throughout the day. “you could chose anyone and you chose HIM?! Are you blind?”, “I’m just curious, wtf did you see in him?” This pattern of disrespectful behavior persisted during subsequent visits, with him bringing me down at every opportunity.

After three meetings with her, he told me that if I broke up with her, he and his girlfriend would still maintain contact with her, even though I hadn't mentioned breaking up. This, combined with flirty comments and actions between him and my girlfriend, raised concerns. Comments like “I’m the only one who flirts in this room” while looking at her, and her reaction being getting shy and starting to play with her hair.

Fast forward two years, and during a recent visit to his place, he made her cook while they’re laughing and giggling while cooking together. When the food was done my friend asked her to tighten the table leg (you have to rotate the leg), he then asked her in a flirty tone “is it tight?” And she responded “I would say it is tight”, - all this was done with a flirty undertone. When I expressed my feelings to my girlfriend, she denied any issue.

She is not innocent, she has subtly reciprocated his advances by flirting back by not shutting it down by being cold and dismissive of his attempts.

I feel betrayed by both my friend and my girlfriend. He acts flirtatiously only with her, and she hasn't shut down his advances.

I need advice on what to do. Should I cut them both from my life?

I should also mention he has a girlfriend.

Drop the buddy. He wants to bang her and she wants to bang him.
Shes gonna want some strange dude. Happens all the time.
If I were you I would focus on yourself and whatever your into as far as values go and run with that.
Me personally put up with zero shyt like that from dudes around my girl.
I once met up with a coworker and a date and he started being a dik like that and we left imediately.

OP gonna say this but sounds like they already banging and they are rubbing it in your face.

 

[stringpuller]

he told me that if I broke up with her, he and his girlfriend would still maintain contact with her, even though I hadn't mentioned breaking up.

Lol they gonna do a 3 way.

 

[stringpuller]

I got angry just by reading this... Confront them both as soon as possible, especially and firstly your "best" friend.

Why do guys get angry about this stuff?
Believe me life is so much happier when this becomes funny.
Yes its disrespectful but the truth of whats going on is she is naturally gravitating to the guy with game.

Sounds like OP needs to do some more work. A&A goes a long way in this situation.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Lol they gonna do a 3 way.

Wasn’t gonna say it but, yea

 

[stringpuller]

Wasn’t gonna say it but, yea

These bytches can be like cats in heat sometimes lol no joke.
They gonna do what they want for sure.

 

[Divorced w 3]

These bytches can be like cats in heat sometimes lol no joke.
They gonna do what they want for sure.

That’s all good and well, I still go knock on the guys door and straighten him out. More so for the empowerment OP needs.

 

[BoomToTheMoonAlice]

That’s all good and well, I still go knock on the guys door and straighten him out. More so for the empowerment OP needs.

Not worth it, can only end in jail or death. Block the guy and the girl, both are scum bags, move to Burundi (the cheapest country on Earth) and live like a king for a couple months. You'll completely forget about them by week 2. On week 3 you can send them both postcards.

Wish you the best b1tches!
Yours truly, Loser.

 

[The Duke]

I've had several casual friends hit on my girlfriends over the years. The good girls will come and tell you. Women are experts at detecting when a guy is hitting on them. Socially she might play a long to some extent to keep harmony, but a solid chic will come tell you whats up.

 

[stringpuller]

I've had several casual friends hit on my girlfriends over the years. The good girls will come and tell you. Women are experts at detecting when a guy is hitting on them. Socially she might play a long to some extent to keep harmony, but a solid chic will come tell you whats up.

Your mostly right but....real life situation guy I know. They were engaged. She got hit on by a guy he knew. She told him.
2 years later she was cheating on him with s coworker.
Right time.
Right place
Right guy.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

You type just how that photo avatar looks

That's why I test high on congruency.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Total 100% disrespect dude.

Never be afraid to cut toxic people out of your life & your mate is definitely not your mate, he is a snake.

At this point and don't see how your girlfriend can be trusted either.

Might be an idea to cut them both out.

Agreed.

Your "friend" is very disrespectful. Making jokes at you in front of her is bad enough but the over-flirting is also a d*ck move. If you confront him, even in a plain, clam, non-accusatory tone, he'll likely grin and laugh and say you're over-reacting yet he knows exactly what he's doing. Guys like this really piss me off. Though I can't recall being in a situation like this, it would piss me off big time. I assume your friend's girlfriend was in the room too so it's also disrespectful for her.

If it were me, I wouldn't say anything to him or your girlfriend but I would go silent for a while to him. If you bring it up and especially if you get overtly pissed, you do risk looking insecure and jealous which aren't admirable qualities. Plus, then he and your girlfriend know he got to you and that you can't keep your cool.

Sometimes SILENCE speaks louder than words.

Let us know how it turns out.

 

[BoomToTheMoonAlice]

Clearly.

 

[DonBig]

Dump her and end the friendship.

Had the same experience only that I didn’t flirt, it was the gf of one of my friends. After not reciprocating it she tried to destroy the friendship and was successful with it and the idiot got dumped by her few weeks later. Got rid of two idiots from my life

 

[stringpuller]

That's why I test high on congruency.

View attachment 11528

You live in Europe? I really want to visit there before my death.

 

[Chowda]

You live in Europe? I really want to visit there before my death.

You have to check out Amsterdam. France wasn’t my glass of Pampelle

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

My nick is from my novels:


I live in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. (And I'm not available for wing.)

 

[Chowda]

Funny story, I was in the RLD chilling at the bar with other tourist. We go out for a smoke and one dude says BRB. Walks into one shop and out in 18 minutes flat.
Forget about German efficiency

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Funny story, I was in the RLD chilling at the bar with other tourist. We go out for a smoke and one dude says BRB. Walks into one shop and out in 18 minutes flat.
Forget about German efficiency

Yes, the coffeeshops in the Red Light District are notoriously slow.

I order mine at the pharmacy.

 

[Scars]

That's not your girl and that's not your friend, ditch them both.