"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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My "Algorithm"

EyeOnThePrize

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That and also like an interrogator and person being interrogated or two opposing lawyers and their clients working on settlements, etc...

Just one of those subconscious tricks to get people more comfortable quickly
It can still work great, just need to lean back plenty to provide a relaxed atmosphere.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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BackInTheGame78

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I'm more comfortable being across from the person. It's never once entered my head that the person across from me was the opposition.
It doesn't have to. Subconsciously your brain processes it in that manner.
 

zekko

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It doesn't have to. Subconsciously your brain processes it in that manner.
I don't agree with that at all. I associate sitting across from someone in a completely positive manner. There's nothing negative about it at all. Just because you perceive it that way doesn't mean everyone does.
 

Divorced w 3

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I don't agree with that at all. I associate sitting across from someone in a completely positive manner. There's nothing negative about it at all. Just because you perceive it that way doesn't mean everyone does.
Closeness and physicality deepen connection, why wouldn’t you want that?
 

BackInTheGame78

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I don't agree with that at all. I associate sitting across from someone in a completely positive manner. There's nothing negative about it at all. Just because you perceive it that way doesn't mean everyone does.
You don't have to. Many psychological studies have been done on this and the results are similar.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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zekko

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Closeness and physicality deepen connection, why wouldn’t you want that?
I like sitting across from someone, always have. It's close enough to touch, and as I said it's easier to make eye contact. I don't see why this is even an issue. This is my preference, and I'm not changing it.
 

zekko

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You don't have to. Many psychological studies have been done on this and the results are similar.
You can find studies that say anything these days. Especially with psychology, which is as much an art as a science.
There's nothing antagonistic about sitting across from someone, that's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.
 

BackInTheGame78

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You can find studies that say anything these days. Especially with psychology, which is as much an art as a science.
There's nothing antagonistic about sitting across from someone, that's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.
Well that even strengthens the case further since you claim it's all "made up".

That means different studies should show different things with that being the case.

However, different studies show the same thing, which means that is pretty hard to argue it's "made up".
 
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zekko

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Vanderdonck

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According to this article, there are pros and cons to both, essentially leaving it a matter of preference. Which is exactly what I am saying.
My preference is to sit across from people.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...04/why-you-stand-side-by-side-or-face-to-face
There are probably way too many factors that go into human interaction for seating position to matter that much anyway. How people speak, make eye contact, and their body language for starters. If she's sitting across from me and subtly rubs her foot on my leg, I'm not going to be antagonized.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Sega Genesis

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According to this article, there are pros and cons to both, essentially leaving it a matter of preference. Which is exactly what I am saying.
My preference is to sit across from people.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...04/why-you-stand-side-by-side-or-face-to-face
I agree with you @zekko . According to the article you just linked, this is a big reason why:

>>It enhances and encourages more eye contact, which creates more bonding and connection. It keeps people focused on each other.<<

Eye contact is important to me as well as facial expression. You can learn so much without saying a word!

When you're clicking you can "eye f*ck" each other which is sexy as hell, lean in closer, subtle hand touching or feet touching under the table.

So many things to indicate attraction.

You can always move next to each later as the night progresses and you continue to click and bond.
 

Scaramouche

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There are advantages to both sides,why not choose a spot with rectangular tables,then sit together on adjacent sides...Best of both Worlds.
 
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