EyeOnThePrize
Master Don Juan
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It can still work great, just need to lean back plenty to provide a relaxed atmosphere.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
My "Algorithm"
- Thread starter Glassguy
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
BackInTheGame78
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It doesn't have to. Subconsciously your brain processes it in that manner.
zekko
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I don't agree with that at all. I associate sitting across from someone in a completely positive manner. There's nothing negative about it at all. Just because you perceive it that way doesn't mean everyone does.
Divorced w 3
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Closeness and physicality deepen connection, why wouldn’t you want that?
BackInTheGame78
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You don't have to. Many psychological studies have been done on this and the results are similar.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
zekko
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I like sitting across from someone, always have. It's close enough to touch, and as I said it's easier to make eye contact. I don't see why this is even an issue. This is my preference, and I'm not changing it.
zekko
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You can find studies that say anything these days. Especially with psychology, which is as much an art as a science.
There's nothing antagonistic about sitting across from someone, that's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.
BackInTheGame78
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Well that even strengthens the case further since you claim it's all "made up".
That means different studies should show different things with that being the case.
However, different studies show the same thing, which means that is pretty hard to argue it's "made up".
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zekko
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According to this article, there are pros and cons to both, essentially leaving it a matter of preference. Which is exactly what I am saying.
My preference is to sit across from people.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...04/why-you-stand-side-by-side-or-face-to-face
Vanderdonck
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There are probably way too many factors that go into human interaction for seating position to matter that much anyway. How people speak, make eye contact, and their body language for starters. If she's sitting across from me and subtly rubs her foot on my leg, I'm not going to be antagonized.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Sega Genesis
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I agree with you @zekko . According to the article you just linked, this is a big reason why:
>>It enhances and encourages more eye contact, which creates more bonding and connection. It keeps people focused on each other.<<
Eye contact is important to me as well as facial expression. You can learn so much without saying a word!
When you're clicking you can "eye f*ck" each other which is sexy as hell, lean in closer, subtle hand touching or feet touching under the table.
So many things to indicate attraction.
You can always move next to each later as the night progresses and you continue to click and bond.
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
There are advantages to both sides,why not choose a spot with rectangular tables,then sit together on adjacent sides...Best of both Worlds.