That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Hmm... you don't know what your talking about, so guess what? I'm just ignoring you.Bvbidd said:Oh, fvck you.
Viper you come by and make this exact same fvcking post everyday.
I've told him all of this about a million times over MSN, now. He's just not doing it. Not amount of advice is going to help him unless he does it. It's always the same thing, over and over and over again.soniq said:Man, don't jump to conclusions.
MrConfidence, you have to be comfortable with yourself first. Fix your inner game go to a website that places free downloads on it's webpage and searchh for the likes of Anthony Robbins, Earl Nightingale, and Kerry L. Johnson. These guys are each one the greatest inspirational speakers to ever live. They teach you to no longer worry about things you can't control but things you can control, that you must be persistant and not give up at the first sign of adversity, to look for the silver lining in everything, and last but not least believe in yourself.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
No, you didn't, or else I would already know about it. Look rogers, if you're not even going to tell people the truth, why do you post? And for those who actually did help, I'm definitely going to use your advice.Mr_rogers said:I've told him all of this about a million times over MSN, now. He's just not doing it. Not amount of advice is going to help him unless he does it. It's always the same thing, over and over and over again.
Freddy1 said:Try cognitive therapy. Just expose your self to alittle bit of the fear everyday bit by bit.
It actually is hard to just go up to people and talk. Walking up to that person isn't hard, but if you don't know that person very well, or at all, it's very hard to find something to talk about. If you approach the person, and say "Hey, how's it going?" the conversation will most likely get boring, if you can't find anything else to talk about after that.Local Celebrity said:My honest opinion, your looking into this WAY to deep. Is it really that hard to go up and talk to a person? No man, if you really wanted to go up and talk to them you could. Your saying "I don't have any friends", if you want friends you have to GO MAKE THEM.
If you want to improve your social skills, get off the internet first. Next, put it in your head that you DON'T give a FVCK, go after what you want and don't look back.
-LC
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
You cant reason with Social phobia/anxiety its a psychological condition.Local Celebrity said:My honest opinion, your looking into this WAY to deep. Is it really that hard to go up and talk to a person? No man, if you really wanted to go up and talk to them you could. Your saying "I don't have any friends", if you want friends you have to GO MAKE THEM.
If you want to improve your social skills, get off the internet first. Next, put it in your head that you DON'T give a FVCK, go after what you want and don't look back.
-LC
Alright, that's good advice, but I wouldn't really call it "anxiety". Like, sure there's a little nervous spark right before I approach a girl, but I wouldn't call it serious anxiety, I'm more afraid of what will happen during the approach. For instance, if I just had a question about something, I could go up to a girl, and ask her, with little hesistation, but when it comes to actually having conversation with the girl, and building interest, I'm not good at that. But yeah, I guess you could call that social anxiety.Freddy1 said:Socail anxiety/phobia is a psychological medical condition. There are certain medical drugs like beta blockers that can help with anxiety with some people. In combination with Cognitive therapy you can recondition your mind to behave the opposit that you normally do.
You can start off doing small simple things to get rid of the feelings of fear.
1.Asking for the time
2.Talking to store owners
3. Asking people for information/direction
etc.
Its a wheening process.
Then just work your way up to the more anxious stuff. Until you can go up to women without fear.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
You want to see my log files? My MSN conversations save automatically.MrConfidence said:No, you didn't, or else I would already know about it. Look rogers, if you're not even going to tell people the truth, why do you post? And for those who actually did help, I'm definitely going to use your advice.
Doesn't even matter dude, your advice did not work for me. Actually, I contradict that, your advice on approaching worked, but all of that "Get away from girls, find a hobby, blah, blah" stuff didn't help.Mr_rogers said:You want to see my log files? My MSN conversations save automatically.
You are like the 95 pound freshman that tries a workout routine for two weeks, looks in the mirror, notices after two weeks he doesn't look like INSERT TOUGH GUY OF THE WEEK and then comes to the almighty conclusion that the routine is trashed.MrConfidence said:Doesn't even matter dude, your advice did not work for me. Actually, I contradict that, your advice on approaching worked, but all of that "Get away from girls, find a hobby, blah, blah" stuff didn't help.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.