Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Hmm... you don't know what your talking about, so guess what? I'm just ignoring you.Bvbidd said:Oh, fvck you.
Viper you come by and make this exact same fvcking post everyday.
I've told him all of this about a million times over MSN, now. He's just not doing it. Not amount of advice is going to help him unless he does it. It's always the same thing, over and over and over again.soniq said:Man, don't jump to conclusions.
MrConfidence, you have to be comfortable with yourself first. Fix your inner game go to a website that places free downloads on it's webpage and searchh for the likes of Anthony Robbins, Earl Nightingale, and Kerry L. Johnson. These guys are each one the greatest inspirational speakers to ever live. They teach you to no longer worry about things you can't control but things you can control, that you must be persistant and not give up at the first sign of adversity, to look for the silver lining in everything, and last but not least believe in yourself.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
No, you didn't, or else I would already know about it. Look rogers, if you're not even going to tell people the truth, why do you post? And for those who actually did help, I'm definitely going to use your advice.Mr_rogers said:I've told him all of this about a million times over MSN, now. He's just not doing it. Not amount of advice is going to help him unless he does it. It's always the same thing, over and over and over again.
Freddy1 said:Try cognitive therapy. Just expose your self to alittle bit of the fear everyday bit by bit.
It actually is hard to just go up to people and talk. Walking up to that person isn't hard, but if you don't know that person very well, or at all, it's very hard to find something to talk about. If you approach the person, and say "Hey, how's it going?" the conversation will most likely get boring, if you can't find anything else to talk about after that.Local Celebrity said:My honest opinion, your looking into this WAY to deep. Is it really that hard to go up and talk to a person? No man, if you really wanted to go up and talk to them you could. Your saying "I don't have any friends", if you want friends you have to GO MAKE THEM.
If you want to improve your social skills, get off the internet first. Next, put it in your head that you DON'T give a FVCK, go after what you want and don't look back.
-LC
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
You cant reason with Social phobia/anxiety its a psychological condition.Local Celebrity said:My honest opinion, your looking into this WAY to deep. Is it really that hard to go up and talk to a person? No man, if you really wanted to go up and talk to them you could. Your saying "I don't have any friends", if you want friends you have to GO MAKE THEM.
If you want to improve your social skills, get off the internet first. Next, put it in your head that you DON'T give a FVCK, go after what you want and don't look back.
-LC
Alright, that's good advice, but I wouldn't really call it "anxiety". Like, sure there's a little nervous spark right before I approach a girl, but I wouldn't call it serious anxiety, I'm more afraid of what will happen during the approach. For instance, if I just had a question about something, I could go up to a girl, and ask her, with little hesistation, but when it comes to actually having conversation with the girl, and building interest, I'm not good at that. But yeah, I guess you could call that social anxiety.Freddy1 said:Socail anxiety/phobia is a psychological medical condition. There are certain medical drugs like beta blockers that can help with anxiety with some people. In combination with Cognitive therapy you can recondition your mind to behave the opposit that you normally do.
You can start off doing small simple things to get rid of the feelings of fear.
1.Asking for the time
2.Talking to store owners
3. Asking people for information/direction
etc.
Its a wheening process.
Then just work your way up to the more anxious stuff. Until you can go up to women without fear.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
You want to see my log files? My MSN conversations save automatically.MrConfidence said:No, you didn't, or else I would already know about it. Look rogers, if you're not even going to tell people the truth, why do you post? And for those who actually did help, I'm definitely going to use your advice.
Doesn't even matter dude, your advice did not work for me. Actually, I contradict that, your advice on approaching worked, but all of that "Get away from girls, find a hobby, blah, blah" stuff didn't help.Mr_rogers said:You want to see my log files? My MSN conversations save automatically.
You are like the 95 pound freshman that tries a workout routine for two weeks, looks in the mirror, notices after two weeks he doesn't look like INSERT TOUGH GUY OF THE WEEK and then comes to the almighty conclusion that the routine is trashed.MrConfidence said:Doesn't even matter dude, your advice did not work for me. Actually, I contradict that, your advice on approaching worked, but all of that "Get away from girls, find a hobby, blah, blah" stuff didn't help.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.