Met a gorgeous girl at the bar last night, not sure how to proceed

[RazorRambo24]

Aren't you the guy that made threads about how you couldn't get over your girl having had a threesome in her past? Or the one who was considering breaking up with your girlfriend when she went out without you when you drove her away? Hard to be sure since you've hidden your profile and I can't view your history.

Clearly you aren't "that guy" either, so I don't know why you think your input would've been so special.



The part my looks play in getting these women isn't lost on me, granted that was a conscious decision in and of itself as well; strict diet, regular exercise routine, seeing a trainer, etc. But I know plenty of good looking guys who are nowhere near me in terms of sleeping around because they do not know how to talk to women outside of being inebriated at the bar.

I have one friend who was 6'7", good looking guy, super friendly, and all the girls at my workplace were into him. But he never closed any of them because he couldn't talk to them unless he was wasted - the closest he got was a kiss I think with one of them after he was absolutely drunk off his a**.

I also know good-looking guys who have high body counts because they just bang whoever they can. I maintain more of a higher standard, though @Murk up there would seem to disagree based on this interaction.

As far as playing it safe, I mean yeah...maybe I could've got this girl maybe she was just being friendly and enjoying my company like @RazorRambo24 said...I wasn't getting that vibe when we started walking and she was just complaining about other girls, that was my first cue that she might be too drunk or just not as interested in us. I did have something of a scare a few months ago where I went home with a chick after her friend introduced us, telling me she thought I was hot. I don't know how drunk she was because in the morning when she asked my age and I reminded her I was older she immediately went cold and didn't bother reaching out after that, leading me to wonder how much she remembers of the night before. That was the inspiration for the thread when I was asking about being older and going to a college bar.

She's hot as hell, I'd love to bang her, and I'll hit her up next week to see what the reaction is. I simply thought it not better to push through the resistance seeing as I wasn't getting enough signs to keep trying harder. Maybe her comment was an invite that I missed, I'll keep that for the future in the back of my mind. I have other girls I'm seeing so it's not too much of a downer, I was simply looking to understand the mistakes I made or how much of this was me vs things I can't control about her or what she's looking for.

Don't bother with Murk; The guy is a complete clown. Here's a timelin of his posts summarized:

1) Breaks some dudes car window as a 35+ yr old man because the guy almost "backed into him" while hew as walking. Post read out like a teenager feeling so tough he did something to get back at someone. It was pathetically cringe and told me he has some little man complex/ low self esteem.

2) Says he met some 2 girls who worked at the gym.. barely interacted with them 1 time, but becuase he made a condescending face, one of the girls was crying.. he said they both really liked hima n could tell they were talking about him.. Almost the entire forum replied to clown him and joke how narcissistic this guy's perspective was.. he flamed and insulted every1 who responded.. literally every1. then when smoke cleared, he claimed he had a 3some with both girls in the same gym while they were working.

3) made a thread about how he is breaking up with his long term girlfriend because she cucked him with a list full of dudes she kept almost like a cuckmybf diary. dude was so insecure he was looking thru her phone when he found it..

4) The guy made a thread how he was seeing some new chick but thinking of walking away cuz shes had a 3some.. and that hes lookin for something serious when clearly the chick seemed like she was def not lookin for anything serious lmao

Edit: 5) Made a thread trying convince us the Earth is Flat.. (Someone DM'ed me this one, I had no idea)..wont snitch on who but wow.

He's the last guy who should be insulting anyone. Literally the last.

and yeah man this whole thread goes back to what I initially said about not giving attention to tiny stitches in time which don't matter. trying to analyze and figure why a girl did something can be impossible .. thats why you just focus on your successes because they'll take you forward and embrazen you with more confidence.

 

[Murk]

Don't bother with Murk; The guy is a complete clown. Here's a timelin of his posts summarized:

1) Breaks some dudes car window as a 35+ yr old man because the guy almost "backed into him" while hew as walking. Post read out like a teenager feeling so tough he did something to get back at someone. It was pathetically cringe and told me he has some little man complex/ low self esteem.

2) Says he met some 2 girls who worked at the gym.. barely interacted with them 1 time, but becuase he made a condescending face, one of the girls was crying.. he said they both really liked hima n could tell they were talking about him.. Almost the entire forum replied to clown him and joke how narcissistic this guy's perspective was.. he flamed and insulted every1 who responded.. literally every1. then when smoke cleared, he claimed he had a 3some with both girls in the same gym while they were working.

3) made a thread about how he is breaking up with his long term girlfriend because she cucked him with a list full of dudes she kept almost like a cuckmybf diary. dude was so insecure he was looking thru her phone when he found it..

4) The guy made a thread how he was seeing some new chick but thinking of walking away cuz shes had a 3some.. and that hes lookin for something serious when clearly the chick seemed like she was def not lookin for anything serious lmao

Edit: 5) Made a thread trying convince us the Earth is Flat.. (Someone DM'ed me this one, I had no idea)..wont snitch on who but wow.

He's the last guy who should be insulting anyone. Literally the last.

and yeah man this whole thread goes back to what I initially said about not giving attention to tiny stitches in time which don't matter. trying to analyze and figure why a girl did something can be impossible .. thats why you just focus on your successes because they'll take you forward and embrazen you with more confidence.

You're confused/outright lying;

1) I pulled the windscreen wipers off I didn't smash any windows, it was a stupid thing to do but I'd do it again.
2) Never happened, I've never approached any woman in a gym, confusing me with another poster
3) The list was all previous bangs, no cuckery involved, self-admitted my gut feeling was to look through the phone, dumped her
4) I'm not looking for anything serious with anyone I match on OLD/bang on the first night, why are you lying? I'm seeking a 9+ for LTR.
5) I also made a thread on the theory of gravity, and many other threads, what's your point?

If you go further back my threads are much more self-deprecating, I've posted much worse over the years and I've done some fvcked up sh!t I'm not proud of, but I don't claim to be something I'm not on here.

You're an ugly dude that smashes 5s and 6s, pretends they are 10s and contributes fvck all to this forum except your fantasies.

 

[BPH]

@Murk I don't care about your post history, I'm simply referencing it because your statement that my girls must all be ugly and you wouldn't "bless" my question with your time and wisdom is extremely pompous for somebody who's probably more fundamentally flawed than me.

No need to respond or argue, I got my takeaway from the others who decided to contribute; I should've tried escalating more before the party and pushing through the resistance when she made the "might want to f*** you" comment, I also should've left her and tried to pull somebody else at the party if I made it to that point although a better alternative would probably have been to simply not go.

@BeExcellent One last question. I know Rambo and some others think that's probably the only interaction I'll have with this girl, but I do plan to at least reach out to her later this week and see if I get a positive response. Even though she stopped me before leaving to make sure I'd text her and followed me on Instagram, which I know are minor things, I have low expectations. But since you think this girl is similar to how you were, what would "work" on you?

 

[Murk]

@Murk I don't care about your post history, I'm simply referencing it because your statement that my girls must all be ugly and you wouldn't "bless" my question with your time and wisdom is extremely pompous for somebody who's probably more fundamentally flawed than me.

No need to respond or argue, I got my takeaway from the others who decided to contribute; I should've tried escalating more before the party and pushing through the resistance when she made the "might want to f*** you" comment, I also should've left her and tried to pull somebody else at the party if I made it to that point although a better alternative would probably have been to simply not go.

I didn't quote you did I? No. So I will respond, you decided to call me out again, yes, all those points were raised in my initial response to you subversively. I actually gave you the wisdom I said I wasn't going to bless you with, I'm glad you're on game now.

You may or may not be "more fundamentally flawed than me", but one thing is for certain, I've never once begged for advice on this forum, from my friends, and especially from my family for advice regarding smashing women. We are not the same.

 

[BPH]

I've never once begged for advice on this forum, from my friends, and especially from my family for advice regarding smashing women. We are not the same.

Didn't know "asking" now means "begging" but I'll take your word for it, after all the world may be flat too right? If you don't need any help with anything regarding women ever I don't know why you're here truthfully, because it clearly isn't to help others from what I'm seeing.

Anyway, that's enough, looking forward to hearing back from @BeExcellent .

 

[Murk]

If you don't need any help with anything regarding women ever I don't know why you're here truthfully

I need help as we all do, help from family, friends and the forum to seal the deal? No, I leave that to your kind.

 

[member160292]

Thanks for the responses to my questions. I am a little confused by this part though.

Are you guys agreeing, saying I should have tried to turn up the heat to see if she was interested or just the night's entertainment before going to the party?

You always want to know where you stand. Push the envelope to see how far it gets you. Rejection does wonders to the mind

 

[member160292]

Lol, this thread. You really know who the posters are on here that seeks validation……….

 

[BeExcellent]

@BeExcellent One last question. I know Rambo and some others think that's probably the only interaction I'll have with this girl, but I do plan to at least reach out to her later this week and see if I get a positive response. Even though she stopped me before leaving to make sure I'd text her and followed me on Instagram, which I know are minor things, I have low expectations. But since you think this girl is similar to how you were, what would "work" on you?

My advice @BPH is to go radio silent. Here’s why. If you reach out you are another thirsty dude trying (however subtly you *think* you are being about it) to get in her pants. Yawn. There are scores of men like you hitting her up. She knows she is hot. She knows what men want. In order to stand out you recede. Let her wonder why haven’t you texted like all the other guys. I don’t think she will think about it for 2 seconds, BUT you will maintain your self respect AND if you run into her again (this is long game) then you shake your head, casually give her crap & say “No more little kid parties for me sweetheart” and chuckle.

Then and only then you see how she responds. Texting her AT ALL is a fool’s game. For all you know she’ll pass the phone around her friends she’s with when you text, ridicule you without your knowledge and delete. Not worth losing more respect in an interaction you cannot control through text.

Nothing would have worked on me in this situation. Typically the men I have become involved with made a big ballsy move early on. You did not do that. That would not be recoverable with me. I’d see it as weak or meek and I’d know hands down I was out of your league because YOU weren’t cool & confident & willing to take your shot. Your open was good, granted but you fumbled after that by going the frat party at all (where she promptly ran away and found someone else to chat with and hide from you).

But her social circle is also hella working against you.

Radio silence.

And I’ll also say this in defense of @Murk:

That cat has been a wild child and aired out plenty here. He’s also come a long way and matured & gotten his head screwed on straight over time. The cat understands game. No doubt. So I can’t throw shade toward that dude. He’s been mighty transparent in my mind & that deserves a measure of respect.

Cheers.

 

[RazorRambo24]

My advice @BPH is to go radio silent. Here’s why. If you reach out you are another thirsty dude trying (however subtly you *think* you are being about it) to get in her pants. Yawn. There are scores of men like you hitting her up. She knows she is hot. She knows what men want. In order to stand out you recede. Let her wonder why haven’t you texted like all the other guys. I don’t think she will think about it for 2 seconds, BUT you will maintain your self respect AND if you run into her again (this is long game) then you shake your head, casually give her crap & say “No more little kid parties for me sweetheart” and chuckle.

Then and only then you see how she responds. Texting her AT ALL is a fool’s game. For all you know she’ll pass the phone around her friends she’s with when you text, ridicule you without your knowledge and delete. Not worth losing more respect in an interaction you cannot control through text.

Nothing would have worked on me in this situation. Typically the men I have become involved with made a big ballsy move early on. You did not do that. That would not be recoverable with me. I’d see it as weak or meek and I’d know hands down I was out of your league because YOU weren’t cool & confident & willing to take your shot. Your open was good, granted but you fumbled after that by going the frat party at all (where she promptly ran away and found someone else to chat with and hide from you).

But her social circle is also hella working against you.

Radio silence.

And I’ll also say this in defense of @Murk:

That cat has been a wild child and aired out plenty here. He’s also come a long way and matured & gotten his head screwed on straight over time. The cat understands game. No doubt. So I can’t throw shade toward that dude. He’s been mighty transparent in my mind & that deserves a measure of respect.

Cheers.

Great advice, kinda what I was saying as well/what I would agree is the best option. I mean its a no brainer.. nothing happened, there was nothing of substance. It was a friendly encounter, small stitch in time.

and about Murk, this guy literally used to randomly insult me on my profile and any chance he got to talk sht about me or project his insecurities on me, he'd take it. But, then he made af ew posts that told me hes an insecure dude with self esteem issues.. That echoed what I already was initially thinking about him and everything made sense at that point. Murk does not understand game, his game is insecurity and going thru womens phones to find out hes being cheated on and then break up with the girl he loved.. Game is also not caring or being scared that a woman had a threesome before and understanding that means shes prob a real good time. He contradicts himself too because in the same thread he mentioned that he said he was lookin for something serious and now hes saying hes not.. back pedaling. Dude is weird to the max.

Can't respect dudes like that but what can u expect from someone with napolean syndrome who went out his way to find some dudes car and break his windshield wipers/windows just becuase the guy almost backed into him-- and then ssaid something to him after he insulted them? Cmon man that **** is so weak.. Its the sign of a man with low self esteem feeling belittled to the point of pure vengeance and anger over such an insignificant thing.

Idk why dudes on here even take a guy like that seriously.. His vibe is like someone whos felt little his whole life trying to be cool and tough behind the comforts of the internet. As soon as someone reminded me theres an ignore function he was like the 2nd person i put on ignore. woulda been the first in all honesty but I wasnt reminded of him until he said something..

 

[BPH]

My advice @BPH is to go radio silent. Here’s why. If you reach out you are another thirsty dude trying (however subtly you *think* you are being about it) to get in her pants. Yawn. There are scores of men like you hitting her up. She knows she is hot. She knows what men want. In order to stand out you recede. Let her wonder why haven’t you texted like all the other guys. I don’t think she will think about it for 2 seconds, BUT you will maintain your self respect AND if you run into her again (this is long game) then you shake your head, casually give her crap & say “No more little kid parties for me sweetheart” and chuckle.

I see your point, I just figured there was no harm in trying because I wouldn't have anything to lose in the situation. Thought the best-case scenario was we see each other again, worst-case scenario I get ghosted, would've been fine either way.

Technically the long game IS an option because she told me she's local and living at the beach this summer (Delaware sucks so during the summer a lot of people will go south while those big bars are in season). It's about 2 hours away so I probably wouldn't make an appearance unless I got work or one of my friends down there invited me...but it's still a possibility.

Nothing would have worked on me in this situation. Typically the men I have become involved with made a big ballsy move early on. You did not do that. That would not be recoverable with me. I’d see it as weak or meek and I’d know hands down I was out of your league because YOU weren’t cool & confident & willing to take your shot. Your open was good, granted but you fumbled after that by going the frat party at all (where she promptly ran away and found someone else to chat with and hide from you).

Well aside from the obvious that everybody's pointed out where I should've tried for the kiss again, what do you think I should've done before we got to that point? And do you have some examples of what these other men have done that was ballsy but didn't cross the line into being pushy?

 

[Divorced w 3]

This will likely be another long overanalysis, but I think it's important to paint a full picture.

I actually came home last night and was talking to my mom about it, asking for some input and comparing it to the advice I got from another friend of mine who is a little less successful with women, where she told me that nobody I know is really on the same level as I am when it comes to sleeping around (I've been with 88 women) so she doesn't think anybody I ask is really qualified to help.

And that's why I'm here today, hoping some of the replies I get are from people more qualified than I am, ideally people who sleep around with a lot of very attractive women - I care much less about the relationship aspect.

So last night I go to my usual bar by myself, mingle with my staff friends, and find these two really hot blondes at the corner of the bar. I go over and introduce myself saying something like "ok who is who's boyfriend here?" since they had guys talking with them most of the night, and to my surprise they're both single. The hotter of the two seems more interested so I make most of my conversation with her, talking to her friend every once in a while to make her feel included...basic stuff.

I tell her that I'm older, she finds that hot, and she's also from Delaware so she'll be here when the school year ends. Tells me she recently got out of a relationship, maybe a month and a half ago, and volunteers the information that she doesn't really sleep around and only has 3 bodies; says they've been exes and people she was talking to long-term. When I tell her my name she searches me up on Instagram and follows me, records some drunken Snapchats with me and her friend to send to whoever, and puts her number in my phone.

As the night goes on she's hanging by me with her friend who's basically the "mom" of the night staying sober and occasionally hugging on and saying hi to some of her guy friends that come up to us. She comes back to me each time and assures me they're just friends and basically sticks with me the rest of the night there, taking shots and stuff. Eventually, the friend leaves, and I was a bit surprised she trusted me alone with her, but I'm thinking this is great.

Bar closes and I forget if I offered or if she asked but I end up walking back with her to her sorority house. She's talking about going to a frat party, I tell her I wasn't in the frat she's trying to go to but she tells me to come with her and just say I'm alumni or something. As we're talking it's clear she's drunk as she's spouting off about some drama between a girl who joined her sorority that "wasn't even pretty" or how that girl likes her ex or something, I don't really know, I was barely paying attention, but the point is the conversation wasn't about us.

Between the walk to her house and the wait for our Uber to this party, I lean in to kiss her two separate times, to which she says she doesn't do that kinda thing and mentions how if she kisses me she'll want to f*** me. So I stop trying and go to this party with her.

Nobody questions me being there, and she leads me down to the basement which is packed with people, and heads to the "DJ" of this frat party who she seems to know and is hugging on him the same way as the guys from the bar. I'm just kinda standing there doing nothing so after a few minutes I excuse myself and tell her I'm going to head out. She stops me to make sure I'd text her, and then I leave.

I was a bit drunk at this point too so I texted her some dumb s*** along the lines "hey I thought you were really gorgeous but I'm not sure what you want so I'm gonna do". I don't remember exactly what I said because I tried to unsend it, but I'm not sure it worked...

I actually spent part of this morning trying to figure this feature out and still don't know...sometimes it'll show them "message has been unsent" or "message was unsent but if the phone wasn't updated they may still get it" but in her case it's just gone...so it's either still there or it's completely gone. I don't know...I tried to unsend something to my FWB once and thought it worked fine because there was nothing there, but she replied to it later so I'm still unsure...

Anyway, now I'm here wondering how I should proceed with her.

My friend's suggestion was to leave it alone until next Thursday, then hit her up to go out.

My thought was more along the lines of "strike while the iron is hot" and see what her plans would be tonight, but I was drunk then and that's probably not the right move.

My dad thinks she might be lying about having only been with 3 people and not sleeping around by the comment that she wouldn't kiss me because she'd want to f*** me, said that sounds like somebody who's more experienced.

So I leave it to you, Sosuave, what are your thoughts and suggestions? And please, not to be rude, but as I mentioned above I would like input from people who are doing this same stuff as me and ideally are BETTER at it. I don't know whether any of you are truthful behind the keyboard, but I'd rather not get advice from a guy who's only been with 5 average women, for example.

small points here that made a difference

I wouldn’t go out without a wing. wings demonstrate social proof. They aren’t just grenade jumpers.

if you liked girl A, you should have been friendly to her but spent more time in a non flirtatious way talking to girl B. A would have likely worked herself to qualify to you. It would have set you up for much stronger tension when you had her by yourself.

i personally would not follow up with her. She looked you up and has your info.You said yourself you will see her around. Use your IG and your summer to demonstrate higher value and you may even run into another girl entirely.

 

[SmoothHendrixPS2]

How do you have 88 bodies and need help with this?

Never ask if they have a boyfriend. Let them tell you. Even if they do, what's that got to do with you and her?

DId you pay for all the shots at the bar? If so, then she could have been manipulating you with the possibility of sex.

When she said "If I kiss you, I'll want to f*** you" you gave her all the power by adhering to her program and following her around after. That was your opening to stand behind your true intentions and say something along the lines of "You already want to f*** me"... this confident and self assured rebuttal would have given you a better chance to get her wet on the spot... Another example of how kino alone isn't as powerful or productive as combining it with seductive/persuasive verbal communication.

I would hit her up in a few days...

 

[BPH]

small points here that made a difference

I wouldn’t go out without a wing. wings demonstrate social proof. They aren’t just grenade jumpers.

if you liked girl A, you should have been friendly to her but spent more time in a non flirtatious way talking to girl B. A would have likely worked herself to qualify to you. It would have set you up for much stronger tension when you had her by yourself.

i personally would not follow up with her. She looked you up and has your info.You said yourself you will see her around. Use your IG and your summer to demonstrate higher value and you may even run into another girl entirely.

Honestly, I'd love to go out with a wing, unfortunately I just don't have any. Most of my friends are in long-term relationships, don't have much experience with women, or feel they are too old to be out at college bars. I don't really know anybody who sleeps around a lot with good-looking which is why I usually end up coming here with my questions. There is one guy I met this year because we're eskimo brothers with a girl I met there back in August, but he's usually there with his FWB and if he's not local I won't be seeing him in a few weeks when the seniors graduate.

My social proof usually comes in the form of the actual staff and bartenders. The manager is flaming gay, but knows I'm straight and we've been friends for years since I went to school there. I usually end up skipping the line and through being a regular and tipping well the bartenders, bouncers, and barbacks are all friends who greet me and give me free drinks whenever I'm there. I often have to ask them to charge me so I can tip them.

As far as girl B, it was apparent pretty early on that she wasn't really drinking. I think I got drinks with girl A twice, and both times I offered to get one for girl B, which she politely declined. Unlike girl A, she was quiet, kinda just looking around, letting me talk to girl A uninterrupted, and while trying to include her I jokingly asked if she was playing "mom" for the night, which she laughed and confirmed. At one point some guy friend of girl A came and said hi to us all and had a sidebar with girl B; some sort of argument or like "why didn't you text me" kinda thing. But yeah, tried to include girl B, but she was just along for the ride I guess.

I don't really play the IG game, it's just more effort than it's worth. I'll tell you what I do now: I upload workout videos and a weekly shirtless weigh-ins to my story to show people what I'm doing at the gym - usually the latter is a bit of a thirst trap and gets the attention of gay guys rather than straight girls. Once in a blue moon I'll have an actual upload, but I just can't be bothered creating highlights out of thin air. Not saying I shouldn't, I just don't.

How do you have 88 bodies and need help with this?

Never ask if they have a boyfriend. Let them tell you. Even if they do, what's that got to do with you and her?

DId you pay for all the shots at the bar? If so, then she could have been manipulating you with the possibility of sex.

When she said "If I kiss you, I'll want to f*** you" you gave her all the power by adhering to her program and following her around after. That was your opening to stand behind your true intentions and say something along the lines of "You already want to f*** me"... this confident and self assured rebuttal would have given you a better chance to get her wet on the spot... Another example of how kino alone isn't as powerful or productive as combining it with seductive/persuasive verbal communication.

I would hit her up in a few days...

Haha I know...I asked for help with this because I THOUGHT things were going well, until they weren't, so I wanted to try and pinpoint where I f***ed up. I wasn't expecting any resistance to the kiss after having a fun night and walking with her alone, let alone twice.

Technically, as stated above, I don't usually pay. That being said she DID buy me two rounds I believe and I think I did the same, hard to remember specifically but I know she bought because I appreciated that gesture.

That would've been a good line...one thing I didn't include in the OP was that when that happened and while waiting for the Uber she mentioned how we "can't do that here" because we were waiting on the porch of her sorority house and said they had Ring cameras set up and could see everything. Now...the logical thing would've been to take her to my place then, right? Problem is I live at home with my parents...yeah, that's its own problem, but that's why that wasn't an option unfortunately.

Also, starting to get some mixed opinions on whether to bother hitting her up or not...the way I see it, if I don't, she's VERY unlikely to hit me up, which is expected, and I probably have 0 chance of seeing her. So why wouldn't I try and likely fail, rather than not try and at all and definitely fail?

I don't know. Seems more skewed towards NOT hitting her up though.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Honestly, I'd love to go out with a wing, unfortunately I just don't have any. Most of my friends are in long-term relationships, don't have much experience with women, or feel they are too old to be out at college bars. I don't really know anybody who sleeps around a lot with good-looking which is why I usually end up coming here with my questions. There is one guy I met this year because we're eskimo brothers with a girl I met there back in August, but he's usually there with his FWB and if he's not local I won't be seeing him in a few weeks when the seniors graduate.

My social proof usually comes in the form of the actual staff and bartenders. The manager is flaming gay, but knows I'm straight and we've been friends for years since I went to school there. I usually end up skipping the line and through being a regular and tipping well the bartenders, bouncers, and barbacks are all friends who greet me and give me free drinks whenever I'm there. I often have to ask them to charge me so I can tip them.

As far as girl B, it was apparent pretty early on that she wasn't really drinking. I think I got drinks with girl A twice, and both times I offered to get one for girl B, which she politely declined. Unlike girl A, she was quiet, kinda just looking around, letting me talk to girl A uninterrupted, and while trying to include her I jokingly asked if she was playing "mom" for the night, which she laughed and confirmed. At one point some guy friend of girl A came and said hi to us all and had a sidebar with girl B; some sort of argument or like "why didn't you text me" kinda thing. But yeah, tried to include girl B, but she was just along for the ride I guess.

I don't really play the IG game, it's just more effort than it's worth. I'll tell you what I do now: I upload workout videos and a weekly shirtless weigh-ins to my story to show people what I'm doing at the gym - usually the latter is a bit of a thirst trap and gets the attention of gay guys rather than straight girls. Once in a blue moon I'll have an actual upload, but I just can't be bothered creating highlights out of thin air. Not saying I shouldn't, I just don't.



Haha I know...I asked for help with this because I THOUGHT things were going well, until they weren't, so I wanted to try and pinpoint where I f***ed up. I wasn't expecting any resistance to the kiss after having a fun night and walking with her alone, let alone twice.

Technically, as stated above, I don't usually pay. That being said she DID buy me two rounds I believe and I think I did the same, hard to remember specifically but I know she bought because I appreciated that gesture.

That would've been a good line...one thing I didn't include in the OP was that when that happened and while waiting for the Uber she mentioned how we "can't do that here" because we were waiting on the porch of her sorority house and said they had Ring cameras set up and could see everything. Now...the logical thing would've been to take her to my place then, right? Problem is I live at home with my parents...yeah, that's its own problem, but that's why that wasn't an option unfortunately.

Also, starting to get some mixed opinions on whether to bother hitting her up or not...the way I see it, if I don't, she's VERY unlikely to hit me up, which is expected, and I probably have 0 chance of seeing her. So why wouldn't I try and likely fail, rather than not try and at all and definitely fail?

I don't know. Seems more skewed towards NOT hitting her up though.

That’s tough that her friend was a dud. All the while kind of plays into why you want a wing. Maybe the dynamic just vibes different with a 4th party. When you’re at the bar, it is crucial it be fun. ****y (applied properly), confident and fun. It’s hard to fly solo successfully, I am not saying i haven’t done it but the better I am at game the more I shy away from it. You can’t possibly expect the staff to spend the time with you like a friend would, so you won’t have any way to disguise that you’re sitting there solo. Solo is an uphill battle. If the girl can’t articulate the questions outright, she’s going to at least want to know at a gut level as to why you’d be there alone. Anyway, the reason you talk to the friend of the target is because the target is going to get jealous. 99% of the time it works every time lol.

 

[BPH]

That’s tough that her friend was a dud. All the while kind of plays into why you want a wing. Maybe the dynamic just vibes different with a 4th party. When you’re at the bar, it is crucial it be fun. ****y (applied properly), confident and fun. It’s hard to fly solo successfully, I am not saying i haven’t done it but the better I am at game the more I shy away from it. You can’t possibly expect the staff to spend the time with you like a friend would, so you won’t have any way to disguise that you’re sitting there solo. Solo is an uphill battle. If the girl can’t articulate the questions outright, she’s going to at least want to know at a gut level as to why you’d be there alone. Anyway, the reason you talk to the friend of the target is because the target is going to get jealous. 99% of the time it works every time lol.

Yeah those are all fair points, and I generally like having company, I just don't have friends who have this same interest.

I had two guys I used to go out with regularly as wings; one f***ed me over so bad that I never really forgave him and only ever went out with him in company as a way to split drinks/Ubers. The other inserted himself into a conversation I was having with a girl, ignored all signs, agreed with why the girl wasn't into me, and stayed with her after I had left before coming back and not understand why I was annoyed by this. So now I'm mostly alone out there and when people ask who I'm there with or why I'm by myself I tell them I'm good friends with the manager and bartenders - usually I'm hanging out behind the bar and stuff to the point where sometimes people think I work there.

Also it looks I may have less time than I thought - I thought they had another 2 weeks, looks like today was the last day of classes with finals starting next week and finishing before the end of next week. Meaning 2 things; IF I reach out to this girl I have less time to do so and she might be having to study and s***, and this will probably be the last weekend this bar will be fun before a rather dry summer begins.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Yeah those are all fair points, and I generally like having company, I just don't have friends who have this same interest.

I had two guys I used to go out with regularly as wings; one f***ed me over so bad that I never really forgave him and only ever went out with him in company as a way to split drinks/Ubers. The other inserted himself into a conversation I was having with a girl, ignored all signs, agreed with why the girl wasn't into me, and stayed with her after I had left before coming back and not understand why I was annoyed by this. So now I'm mostly alone out there and when people ask who I'm there with or why I'm by myself I tell them I'm good friends with the manager and bartenders - usually I'm hanging out behind the bar and stuff to the point where sometimes people think I work there.

Also it looks I may have less time than I thought - I thought they had another 2 weeks, looks like today was the last day of classes with finals starting next week and finishing before the end of next week. Meaning 2 things; IF I reach out to this girl I have less time to do so and she might be having to study and s***, and this will probably be the last weekend this bar will be fun before a rather dry summer begins.

Ok well look what’s done is done, and you can use better techniques next time. As for now, if she doesn’t come to you (and you can bait her a bit by putting a story on insta) then reach out in a couple days. Say it was great to hang with you, how about ‘x activity’ at ‘y location’ on ‘z day and time’ - shoot your shot straight. Nobody goes at it this way which is why is so strong and effective. Promise you it leaves an impression.

 

[BeExcellent]

Here’s the issue I see @BPH :

1. Hitting her up makes you look like an orbiter. You do not want to be an orbiter.
2. Long game is better even if you’re waiting out the summer. If you chase after her by texting then you damage any mystery not communicating might have helped with.
3. The bold moves guys made with me do not matter. They had no fvcks given attitudes (or came off that way) even though they were impressed with me. They remained cool, aloof even. That makes the bold move so effective, the take it or leave it component.

You were not and are not in the right mind set to deliver a bold move effectively. Or you would have done so.

And bold moves did not always work on me either, by the way. Some guy I’m not interested in could have the best game going. If I’ve no interest? It’s a moot point and my typical response would be “nice try, but No.”

Interest level must be there. This chick is NOT interested in you period. If she was she’d have blown off the frat party to hang with you that night. She didn’t. Even drunk she DIDN’T. Instead she used the frat party to escape from you.

Why? She knows she’s rejecting you but did it indirectly to avoid conflict and confrontation.

Plain as day. But you have oneitis so bad you missed the neon sign. NOT INTERESTED.

Only a very small % of women will straight up reject you to your face. I do, and I do so in a gracious way (unless the man is too socially inept to understand a gracious no and requires me to be more blunt, e.g., “I’m not interested and I’ve been cool about it. If I need to be mean I can be….”)

Most women are totally non confrontational and they don’t like telling a guy no because they don’t want to hurt the guy’s feelings. So they exchange social media or you get the number, and often the girl is just looking for an out to get off the hook while the guy is thinking he actually has a chance then gets confused when the girl either never responds, flakes, etc. etc. It’s low interest.

That’s why I reject right then and there. I hate the idea of stringing a man along. I think it’s very UNcool.

This is more respectful toward the man imo and a stand up guy can adjust and recalibrate better to that.

Very few women will do that, fewer still do it graciously.

 

[BPH]

You were not and are not in the right mind set to deliver a bold move effectively. Or you would have done so.

No, I get that, I'm just curious how far the envelope can be pushed between being considered "bold" and "pushy" or "creepy".

Also, to save myself from making another thread I have a question for the room:

I learned the college that frequents that bar had their last day of classes today and their finals begin early next week. Meaning they will be out at the bars all week according to my manager friend there.

Now, I usually go out there on the weekends. I am considering going out there a couple more times this week since it'll essentially be the last week/weekend that it will be fun there for a while.

As mentioned before, I'm older, recently 29. Would it be odd to show up there? On the weekends it makes sense because everybody's off. But I do have work tomorrow and the rest of the week, I just would have to keep the drinking to a moderate level which isn't a problem. I'm mostly concerned about public perception here from the point of these girls.

I'll tag @Divorced w 3 here for input because I know he's done similar stuff as an older guy at younger bars.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

No, I get that, I'm just curious how far the envelope can be pushed between being considered "bold" and "pushy" or "creepy".

Learn to read her vibe. It's a physical force you can learn to feel.

No, I get that, I'm just curious how far the envelope can be pushed between being considered "bold" and "pushy" or "creepy".

Also, to save myself from making another thread I have a question for the room:

I learned the college that frequents that bar had their last day of classes today and their finals begin early next week. Meaning they will be out at the bars all week according to my manager friend there.

Now, I usually go out there on the weekends. I am considering going out there a couple more times this week since it'll essentially be the last week/weekend that it will be fun there for a while.

As mentioned before, I'm older, recently 29. Would it be odd to show up there? On the weekends it makes sense because everybody's off. But I do have work tomorrow and the rest of the week, I just would have to keep the drinking to a moderate level which isn't a problem. I'm mostly concerned about public perception here from the point of these girls.

I'll tag @Divorced w 3 here for input because I know he's done similar stuff as an older guy at younger bars.

Learn to grow a sack. Yes it would be odd but when you're concerned you amplify it drastically. Who tf cares? Say you're phucking on vacation (from work) or something.