Met a gorgeous girl at the bar last night, not sure how to proceed

Dr.Suave

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Also, a quick little story to tell since this just happened the other night as well...for the first time (to my knowledge) I was double-booked.
This is maybe like the most disrespectful thing I´ve seen on Sosuave. Definetely top 5.

I would demote her to be unwhorthy of any of my time or energy. The most she would get from me in the future would be a text with the words "Come over" if Im feeling horny.
 
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Ricky

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This is maybe like the most disrespectful thing I´ve seen on Sosuave. Definetely top 5.

I would demote her to be unwhorthy of any of my time or energy. The most she would get from me in the future would be a text with the words "Come over" if Im feeling horny.
Yeah but honestly nothing surprises me anymore. Women are non-commital now. They are always looking for the bigger or better thing and have fear of missing out. We can use this to our advantage of course.

Great example is a co-worker is having a party this weekend. Its to celebrate a major career achievement. Not one damn young woman at work can commit that they are actually going. It is a holiday weekend so i get it but it's also pretty illustrative of the planned flakiness of women now. They simply can't decide. Help them decide.
 

Divorced w 3

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Just wanted to provide you guys a little update so you can get your "I told you so's" in.

I texted her on Thursday, something to the effect of "I want to take you out somewhere better than a frat basement. Come out with me tomorrow around 10". Never heard back. No big deal, ended up going to the bars Friday night and leaving with a cute new girl who just so happens to be bisexual. Figure I'll hit her up later tomorrow about when she has a free night this week.

Also never happened to see her out at the bars during this last week. One thing I noticed that made me laugh was that this chick unfollowed me on Instagram at some point after that. I got a chuckle out of it because as opposed to ghosting me, which required zero effort, she really decided to find and unfollow my Instagram because that wouldn't have been enough. Oh well.

Also, a quick little story to tell since this just happened the other night as well...for the first time (to my knowledge) I was double-booked.

Girl I f***ed maybe a month ago. She was transferring to NY and wanted a FWB and I mentioned I have a brother up there that I visit once in a while. It was a fun little night, f***ed a few times. Anyway, she was supposed to come out Friday night but didn't make it so I told her I wouldn't be out Saturday night but that she could hit me up later if she wanted me to come over. So she does.

Around 12:25 AM after a short conversation, she tells me she wants me to come. About 5 minutes later I tell her I'll text her when I leave. About 15 minutes later I leave, and another 15 minutes later I get there.

Over the course of those 35 minutes, she made other plans, which I discovered after I arrived and called her to let me into her apartment complex, because while on the phone with my buddy I watched her walk up with another guy. I kinda just laughed, the guy like nervously chuckled and she said "Well this is...interesting". I laughed, said "alright" and left, and text her to have a good night.

We text back and forth about how she thought I took too long to answer and was probably busy with somebody else, and how she really wanted me rather than this other guy. I told her unless she sends the college boy home I'm done talking to her because I'm not about to be double booked. No response.

This morning she sends me a novel about how they never hooked up and that she thinks she was drugged, apologizes to me, then tells me he was just there to take her to the hospital but she didn't end up going, so he left soon after. Right...haven't responded to any of that, don't think I plan to.

Anyway hope everybody's enjoying their Sunday, thought some of you might enjoy this read :)
I take no joy in your experience. Only thing that serves as a silver lining is that we learn sometimes by doing. Appreciate you’re putting it out there. Happens sometimes.

The one thing I would critique on style, and I watched multiple women all in shock this weekend (4 months later) hearing how it was so direct and authoritative , was your approach on the date request. You were close but you left it open ended. No open ends. The missing piece was the location, and the other issue was not giving it enough space on the calendar. You should have not been available for her the following day. So for example, “Hey Nicole, how about bowling at Dover lanes, next Tuesday, 8pm?”

You get one shot at a first impression. You can mess up a bit here and there but in the back of her mind will always be how you came on early, how you maintained frame and that you are treating her special because she is earning it.
 

RobbyDog

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This is maybe like the most disrespectful thing I´ve seen on Sosuave. Definetely top 5.

I would demote her to be unwhorthy of any of my time or energy. The most she would get from me in the future would be a text with the words "Come over" if Im feeling horny.
Especially due to her BS excuse! I can’t believe the elaborate lies women make up and expect us to believe…
 

BPH

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This is maybe like the most disrespectful thing I´ve seen on Sosuave. Definetely top 5.

I would demote her to be unwhorthy of any of my time or energy. The most she would get from me in the future would be a text with the words "Come over" if Im feeling horny.
Yeah, I mean that's definitely something I thought about. Not that I would buy her BS excuse but I could just tell her something like "next time you text me it better be to f***". Or I could just keep doing what I'm doing and let that plate go, that's more of a high road/self-respect kinda thing but she's probably gone up to NY in like a week so at most I would get what? One more lay in? Or the occasional one if I'm up in NY?

Right now I don't really care so I haven't responded.

I take no joy in your experience. Only thing that serves as a silver lining is that we learn sometimes by doing. Appreciate you’re putting it out there. Happens sometimes.

The one thing I would critique on style, and I watched multiple women all in shock this weekend (4 months later) hearing how it was so direct and authoritative , was your approach on the date request. You were close but you left it open ended. No open ends. The missing piece was the location, and the other issue was not giving it enough space on the calendar. You should have not been available for her the following day. So for example, “Hey Nicole, how about bowling at Dover lanes, next Tuesday, 8pm?”

You get one shot at a first impression. You can mess up a bit here and there but in the back of her mind will always be how you came on early, how you maintained frame and that you are treating her special because she is earning it.
I thought about that, but I knew what was going on at the time - sorority formals, probably all day drinking since classes were out, maybe studying for finals or having goodbye parties with their girlfriends, etc so I figured leaving it open-ended would give some wiggle room if she were interested but not available on the date and time I picked out.

I could've given it more space but most people will be gone this week if they're not gone already, depending on whether they have finals, so I tried to wait enough time while also scheduling for the weekend.

All of this is probably granular because that ship probably sunk after that first night anyway. I got my takeaways from this thread, your response here about date/time/location, and at the end of the day I was fine anyway because I met a new girl out at the bar and bedded her, so I was taken care of.

Lessons learned, maybe I'll see her at the beach some point during the summer, but even then it's probably not worth my time because not only was she not interested, she was not interested enough to go through the trouble of digging me up to unfollow me.
 

Divorced w 3

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I thought about that, this is your first problem

but I knew what was going on at the time - no sir you did not


sorority formals, probably all day drinking since classes were out, maybe studying for finals or having goodbye parties with their girlfriends, etc so I figured leaving it open-ended would give some wiggle room exact opposite of what you want so she is forced to act, and actions are what give you signals

if she were interested but not available on the date and time I picked out.

I could've given it more space but most people will be gone this week if they're not gone already, depending on whether they have finals, so I tried to wait enough time while also scheduling for the weekend. stop overthinking

All of this is probably granular because that ship probably sunk after that first night anyway. I got my takeaways from this thread, respectfully it does not sound like you did

your response here about date/time/location, and at the end of the day I was fine anyway because I met a new girl out at the bar and bedded her, so I was taken care of. coincidentally you met someone else, as you should, but it’s not going to matter if you don’t practice the right way
Responses bolden in red
 

BPH

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Responses bolden in red
What I took away from this was that I should've pushed the envelope when she mentioned she would want to f*** me if she kissed me rather than letting that go after trying twice.

From there if I was successful, take to her to bed. If not, either don't go to the frat party, or try to meet another girl AT the frat party. The text stuff wouldn't have been a factor because I would've had a much more black/white response rather than the gray area as I saw it.

As far as the text follow-up here I'm surprised you're giving that as much weight as you are. Yeah, being authoritative and picking the location in addition to the day and time would be more commanding, but I have a hard time believing that detail made the difference here. Considering I'm just a guy who had a fleeting experience with her one drunken night out where I didn't close, I think the fact that these are the last 2 weeks of school where everybody is having their graduation, goodbyes, formals, etc DEFINITELY are things I'd have to work around because I haven't done nearly enough to be considered more important than any of those things...so why would she choose my date over them?
 

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What I took away from this was that I should've pushed the envelope when she mentioned she would want to f*** me if she kissed me rather than letting that go after trying twice.

From there if I was successful, take to her to bed. If not, either don't go to the frat party, or try to meet another girl AT the frat party. The text stuff wouldn't have been a factor because I would've had a much more black/white response rather than the gray area as I saw it.

As far as the text follow-up here I'm surprised you're giving that as much weight as you are. Yeah, being authoritative and picking the location in addition to the day and time would be more commanding, but I have a hard time believing that detail made the difference here. Considering I'm just a guy who had a fleeting experience with her one drunken night out where I didn't close, I think the fact that these are the last 2 weeks of school where everybody is having their graduation, goodbyes, formals, etc DEFINITELY are things I'd have to work around because I haven't done nearly enough to be considered more important than any of those things...so why would she choose my date over them?
You could've asked her if she'd want to F you if you squeezed her ass, and then squeezed her ass. One move of mine is when, if I'm trying to go up her shirt and she resists, I simply move my hand down to her P instead. Never fails. Like a reverse in football.
 

Divorced w 3

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You could've asked her if she'd want to F you if you squeezed her ass, and then squeezed her ass. One move of mine is when, if I'm trying to go up her shirt and she resists, I simply move my hand down to her P instead. Never fails. Like a reverse in football.
You may have a future in politics
 

Divorced w 3

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What I took away from this was that I should've pushed the envelope when she mentioned she would want to f*** me if she kissed me rather than letting that go after trying twice.

From there if I was successful, take to her to bed. If not, either don't go to the frat party, or try to meet another girl AT the frat party. The text stuff wouldn't have been a factor because I would've had a much more black/white response rather than the gray area as I saw it.

As far as the text follow-up here I'm surprised you're giving that as much weight as you are. Yeah, being authoritative and picking the location in addition to the day and time would be more commanding, but I have a hard time believing that detail made the difference here. Considering I'm just a guy who had a fleeting experience with her one drunken night out where I didn't close, I think the fact that these are the last 2 weeks of school where everybody is having their graduation, goodbyes, formals, etc DEFINITELY are things I'd have to work around because I haven't done nearly enough to be considered more important than any of those things...so why would she choose my date over them?
They all literally said this weekend “no wishy washy” etc. you need to be confident without saying it outright. You are showing her without saying so that you can walk away. Take it or leave it. it is by far the most important thing you can do. You’re telling her without telling her that she’s in your world and she’s lucky to be there and this is the time she’s got.
 

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BPH

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They all literally said this weekend “no wishy washy” etc. you need to be confident without saying it outright. You are showing her without saying so that you can walk away. Take it or leave it. it is by far the most important thing you can do. You’re telling her without telling her that she’s in your world and she’s lucky to be there and this is the time she’s got.
Fair points, all I'm saying is that I think I lost that battle before I even sent the text, that's all.

That being said, what I planned to do with the girl I slept with that Friday is to text her later tonight asking when she's got a free night to have some company (considering I don't have my own place to bring her and have already bedded her). Do you see issue with that approach?
 

BPH

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@Divorced w 3 let me know if I did this right with the other girl...

Texted her "Hey how would you like some company Wednesday night ;)".

She answered couple of hours later saying she wasn't free that night, but maybe another night, to which I asked "when would be better?" have yet to hear back. She's still watching my stories on IG though.
 

BillyPilgrim

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@Divorced w 3 let me know if I did this right with the other girl...

Texted her "Hey how would you like some company Wednesday night ;)".

She answered couple of hours later saying she wasn't free that night, but maybe another night, to which I asked "when would be better?" have yet to hear back. She's still watching my stories on IG though.
If she's on the fence you have to provide more value with your texts. Pitch a cool date idea, describe it to her, and go from there. Just saying "when would be better?" doesn't give her much motivation to respond
 

BPH

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If she's on the fence you have to provide more value with your texts. Pitch a cool date idea, describe it to her, and go from there. Just saying "when would be better?" doesn't give her much motivation to respond
We've already f***ed with minimal resistance after meeting at a bar, spent the night, and f***ed in the morning. I'm pitching more of that, I think going for a date is moving in the opposite direction and I don't really want to put in that effort since I simply don't need to with some of the other girls I'm seeing.
 

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Great advice, kinda what I was saying as well/what I would agree is the best option. I mean its a no brainer.. nothing happened, there was nothing of substance. It was a friendly encounter, small stitch in time.

and about Murk, this guy literally used to randomly insult me on my profile and any chance he got to talk sht about me or project his insecurities on me, he'd take it. But, then he made af ew posts that told me hes an insecure dude with self esteem issues.. That echoed what I already was initially thinking about him and everything made sense at that point. Murk does not understand game, his game is insecurity and going thru womens phones to find out hes being cheated on and then break up with the girl he loved.. Game is also not caring or being scared that a woman had a threesome before and understanding that means shes prob a real good time. He contradicts himself too because in the same thread he mentioned that he said he was lookin for something serious and now hes saying hes not.. back pedaling. Dude is weird to the max.

Can't respect dudes like that but what can u expect from someone with napolean syndrome who went out his way to find some dudes car and break his windshield wipers/windows just becuase the guy almost backed into him-- and then ssaid something to him after he insulted them? Cmon man that **** is so weak.. Its the sign of a man with low self esteem feeling belittled to the point of pure vengeance and anger over such an insignificant thing.

Idk why dudes on here even take a guy like that seriously.. His vibe is like someone whos felt little his whole life trying to be cool and tough behind the comforts of the internet. As soon as someone reminded me theres an ignore function he was like the 2nd person i put on ignore. woulda been the first in all honesty but I wasnt reminded of him until he said something..
You’re obsessed, and judging by your dimensions in your dp you’re clearly a dwarf and facially look like one too. I’m going to put you on ignore I don’t speak to dwarfs.
 

tightgrp

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TLDR. "Met a gorgeous girl" and not knowing what to do says it all. Work on yourself.
 

Murk

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Can you f*** off? You're replying to a comment that's 10 days old. Clearly you have some issues.
Replying to a comment aimed at me, by another poster, that I've just seen as I wasn't on the forum for a week. You can put me on ignore kid.
 

BPH

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TLDR. "Met a gorgeous girl" and not knowing what to do says it all. Work on yourself.
If you're not even gonna bother to read the thread don't bother replying to it either...

Replying to a comment aimed at me, by another poster, that I've just seen as I wasn't on the forum for a week. You can put me on ignore kid.
Take it to the DMs and stop being a child, you're 34.

At this point I'm just waiting to hear @Divorced w 3 's thoughts and this thread can die.
 
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