"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Looking for your own sexist jokes

P

Pakwah

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Example -

Why doesn't a woman wear a watch?
There is a perfectly good clock on the stove

Why is a womens wedding dress white?
So the dishwasher matches the fridge

Why do women have smaller feet then men?
Its a evolutionary process so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

D

Drewskie

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hahahahaha. The fridge one, nice. I don't too many.... except, what do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you are alreay told her twice.

What do you do when the dishwasher doesn't work?

Slap the B!tch.
 
M

mpimpin

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no wonder PenKitten doesn't frequent this forum anymore
 
S

speakeasy

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Pakwah said:
Example -

Why doesn't a woman wear a watch?
There is a perfectly good clock on the stove

Why is a womens wedding dress white?
So the dishwasher matches the fridge

Why do women have smaller feet then men?
Its a evolutionary process so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink
Click to expand...
There's always the undisputed king of sexist jokes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWzI_Wn0ZwM&feature=related
 
penkitten

penkitten

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whats the difference between your old lady and your refridgerator?
one's called an ice-a-box the other is called a nice-a-box

lame italian oldie hehe
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

B

bob2007

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Snow is beautiful, till you have to deal with it. Kinda like women.
 
R

R1_test pilot

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There a 250,000 battered women in this country, And all this time I've been eating them Raw.

Why did the women cross the road....Who cares, WTF is she doing out of the kitchen!!
 
O

OTB

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You guys wanna hear a joke?

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: WOMEN'S RIGHTS! :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

O

OTB

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DJDamage said:
Its funny cause its true!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjxY9rZwNGU
Click to expand...

Laugh My Ass Off ----> Just finished watching the first two videos :D


My friend posted the first video (Women Know Your Limits) on his Myspace page in the forum of a bulleiten, :yes:
He eventually got flamed by half the females on his friend list! :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
 
M

macallik

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what do you call a woman with an opinion ?
A single mother.

- Corey Holcomb
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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