dj_inprogress
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Have your ever broken up with a girl that you had been in a LTR(+6) because you wanted to date other people? Later on realizing that she may have been the best one.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Letting go of the one
- Thread starter dj_inprogress
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"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Crazystarf
Don Juan
6 years is a huge time gap in regards to evaluating someone. If you haven't realized that she's completely right for you or not in that time, it means that you probably deserve better than what you have.
Even if you think she was the best one, eventually a better one will come across.
Even if you think she was the best one, eventually a better one will come across.
JohnChops
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I always go by the saying , there isn't one right girl for you but many right girls out there for you. The one doesn't exist but exists in many girls.
Agreed. Lose "the one" type of thinking. There is no "one". Just a person the way they are when you meet.
Even if you think she is, you might marry/have kids/ and both of you may change over the years
and be divorced within ten years....then she really wasn't, was she?
Even if you think she is, you might marry/have kids/ and both of you may change over the years
and be divorced within ten years....then she really wasn't, was she?
JohnChops
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I agree , maybe my wording is a bit offPairPlusRoyalFlush said:
. My point being there isnt such thing as the "one" is the bottom line. Good thing for us "small group" out of about 3.5 billion girls means 100,000s of girls are still attracted to us. Keeping it positive you know
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
dj_inprogress
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Thank you all for the sound advice.
HalfPUAHalfAFC
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What you are experiencing is buyer's remorse in reverse.
Buyer's remorse is when you finally get the girl and then realize she was not all you thought she was. Or, she gets you and then she decides shortly after you are not her cup of tea.
When you break up in a LTR, you sometimes start to feel that maybe you made a bad decision. This will be probably in the first week or two.
And it can linger on if you do not find new women to date, have sex with, etc.
Now, it is possible that your ex-gf was a really good match for you and maybe you acted rashly in dumping her. Few quality women are out there. But, there is no "one" and, yes, there are more quality women in fact out there.
Many of us have experienced this sort of post-hoc questioning of our decisions. It's perfectly natural.
But, here's what NOT to do: If it turns out you decide that you made a mistake and want her back, DO NOT CHASE HER. I made that mistake once and wasted 3 years of my life trying to get an ex-gf back. She had all the power and I turned total chode. It was embarrassing.
So, suck it up and move forward. If she comes back, think about it carefully.
Buyer's remorse is when you finally get the girl and then realize she was not all you thought she was. Or, she gets you and then she decides shortly after you are not her cup of tea.
When you break up in a LTR, you sometimes start to feel that maybe you made a bad decision. This will be probably in the first week or two.
And it can linger on if you do not find new women to date, have sex with, etc.
Now, it is possible that your ex-gf was a really good match for you and maybe you acted rashly in dumping her. Few quality women are out there. But, there is no "one" and, yes, there are more quality women in fact out there.
Many of us have experienced this sort of post-hoc questioning of our decisions. It's perfectly natural.
But, here's what NOT to do: If it turns out you decide that you made a mistake and want her back, DO NOT CHASE HER. I made that mistake once and wasted 3 years of my life trying to get an ex-gf back. She had all the power and I turned total chode. It was embarrassing.
So, suck it up and move forward. If she comes back, think about it carefully.