dj_inprogress
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Have your ever broken up with a girl that you had been in a LTR(+6) because you wanted to date other people? Later on realizing that she may have been the best one.
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Letting go of the one
- Thread starter dj_inprogress
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Crazystarf
Don Juan
6 years is a huge time gap in regards to evaluating someone. If you haven't realized that she's completely right for you or not in that time, it means that you probably deserve better than what you have.
Even if you think she was the best one, eventually a better one will come across.
Even if you think she was the best one, eventually a better one will come across.
JohnChops
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I always go by the saying , there isn't one right girl for you but many right girls out there for you. The one doesn't exist but exists in many girls.
Agreed. Lose "the one" type of thinking. There is no "one". Just a person the way they are when you meet.
Even if you think she is, you might marry/have kids/ and both of you may change over the years
and be divorced within ten years....then she really wasn't, was she?
Even if you think she is, you might marry/have kids/ and both of you may change over the years
and be divorced within ten years....then she really wasn't, was she?
JohnChops
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I agree , maybe my wording is a bit offPairPlusRoyalFlush said:
. My point being there isnt such thing as the "one" is the bottom line. Good thing for us "small group" out of about 3.5 billion girls means 100,000s of girls are still attracted to us. Keeping it positive you know
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
dj_inprogress
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Thank you all for the sound advice.
HalfPUAHalfAFC
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What you are experiencing is buyer's remorse in reverse.
Buyer's remorse is when you finally get the girl and then realize she was not all you thought she was. Or, she gets you and then she decides shortly after you are not her cup of tea.
When you break up in a LTR, you sometimes start to feel that maybe you made a bad decision. This will be probably in the first week or two.
And it can linger on if you do not find new women to date, have sex with, etc.
Now, it is possible that your ex-gf was a really good match for you and maybe you acted rashly in dumping her. Few quality women are out there. But, there is no "one" and, yes, there are more quality women in fact out there.
Many of us have experienced this sort of post-hoc questioning of our decisions. It's perfectly natural.
But, here's what NOT to do: If it turns out you decide that you made a mistake and want her back, DO NOT CHASE HER. I made that mistake once and wasted 3 years of my life trying to get an ex-gf back. She had all the power and I turned total chode. It was embarrassing.
So, suck it up and move forward. If she comes back, think about it carefully.
Buyer's remorse is when you finally get the girl and then realize she was not all you thought she was. Or, she gets you and then she decides shortly after you are not her cup of tea.
When you break up in a LTR, you sometimes start to feel that maybe you made a bad decision. This will be probably in the first week or two.
And it can linger on if you do not find new women to date, have sex with, etc.
Now, it is possible that your ex-gf was a really good match for you and maybe you acted rashly in dumping her. Few quality women are out there. But, there is no "one" and, yes, there are more quality women in fact out there.
Many of us have experienced this sort of post-hoc questioning of our decisions. It's perfectly natural.
But, here's what NOT to do: If it turns out you decide that you made a mistake and want her back, DO NOT CHASE HER. I made that mistake once and wasted 3 years of my life trying to get an ex-gf back. She had all the power and I turned total chode. It was embarrassing.
So, suck it up and move forward. If she comes back, think about it carefully.