dj_inprogress
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Have your ever broken up with a girl that you had been in a LTR(+6) because you wanted to date other people? Later on realizing that she may have been the best one.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Letting go of the one
- Thread starter dj_inprogress
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"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Crazystarf
Don Juan
6 years is a huge time gap in regards to evaluating someone. If you haven't realized that she's completely right for you or not in that time, it means that you probably deserve better than what you have.
Even if you think she was the best one, eventually a better one will come across.
Even if you think she was the best one, eventually a better one will come across.
JohnChops
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I always go by the saying , there isn't one right girl for you but many right girls out there for you. The one doesn't exist but exists in many girls.
Agreed. Lose "the one" type of thinking. There is no "one". Just a person the way they are when you meet.
Even if you think she is, you might marry/have kids/ and both of you may change over the years
and be divorced within ten years....then she really wasn't, was she?
Even if you think she is, you might marry/have kids/ and both of you may change over the years
and be divorced within ten years....then she really wasn't, was she?
JohnChops
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I agree , maybe my wording is a bit offPairPlusRoyalFlush said:
. My point being there isnt such thing as the "one" is the bottom line. Good thing for us "small group" out of about 3.5 billion girls means 100,000s of girls are still attracted to us. Keeping it positive you know
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
dj_inprogress
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Thank you all for the sound advice.
HalfPUAHalfAFC
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What you are experiencing is buyer's remorse in reverse.
Buyer's remorse is when you finally get the girl and then realize she was not all you thought she was. Or, she gets you and then she decides shortly after you are not her cup of tea.
When you break up in a LTR, you sometimes start to feel that maybe you made a bad decision. This will be probably in the first week or two.
And it can linger on if you do not find new women to date, have sex with, etc.
Now, it is possible that your ex-gf was a really good match for you and maybe you acted rashly in dumping her. Few quality women are out there. But, there is no "one" and, yes, there are more quality women in fact out there.
Many of us have experienced this sort of post-hoc questioning of our decisions. It's perfectly natural.
But, here's what NOT to do: If it turns out you decide that you made a mistake and want her back, DO NOT CHASE HER. I made that mistake once and wasted 3 years of my life trying to get an ex-gf back. She had all the power and I turned total chode. It was embarrassing.
So, suck it up and move forward. If she comes back, think about it carefully.
Buyer's remorse is when you finally get the girl and then realize she was not all you thought she was. Or, she gets you and then she decides shortly after you are not her cup of tea.
When you break up in a LTR, you sometimes start to feel that maybe you made a bad decision. This will be probably in the first week or two.
And it can linger on if you do not find new women to date, have sex with, etc.
Now, it is possible that your ex-gf was a really good match for you and maybe you acted rashly in dumping her. Few quality women are out there. But, there is no "one" and, yes, there are more quality women in fact out there.
Many of us have experienced this sort of post-hoc questioning of our decisions. It's perfectly natural.
But, here's what NOT to do: If it turns out you decide that you made a mistake and want her back, DO NOT CHASE HER. I made that mistake once and wasted 3 years of my life trying to get an ex-gf back. She had all the power and I turned total chode. It was embarrassing.
So, suck it up and move forward. If she comes back, think about it carefully.