Hello Friend,
If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.
It will be the most efficient use of your time.
And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.
Thank you for visiting and have a great day!
Translation: I need to get fukked.but she kept saying stupid stuff like ‘ This is why I can’t get a bf ‘ I can’t even remember what we was talking about but as soon as I heard that I knew it was game over. And stuff like ... Dave messaged me today (a guy we both know) asking if I wanted to go out but I just ignored him ...
You're socially over-calibrating because of your "history." You're projecting your past onto your present.Yeah I’m just trying not to come across too pushy ... because I’m trying to dig myself out the friend zone it’s harder than just meeting someone and escalating
I do think I’ve made some headway .. just need her to give clearer signals if that’s the case .... probably fu**ed it now but deffo going to learn from this
Where’s our confidence you ask? Well there’s this movement going on, maybe you’ve heard of it, called the #metoo movement. Everything is sexual harassment these days. So yeah, forgive us men if we don’t “man up” and randomly kiss a girl that friendzoned us.Good question! Female here, hoping you'll "allow" me to chime in without ripping my head off LOL.
Anyway I was "platonic friends" with my second long term boyfriend (now ex) before he took the LEAD one night and led us to where he wanted us to go.
Which was to bed, after which we went to bed a few more times before we became bf/gf for 4 years!
How? One night we're out (as friends) ordered drinks, I got a bit drunk and he gave me one of the best kisses of my life (up to that point)!
He didn't ask, he just took the lead and kissed me! And I'll be honest in saying up till then, I only saw him as a platonic friend because that's what I thought I was to HIM! Because he had not escalated.
Calling her and asking her if she wants to come over and fuc*k as has been advised I can almost guarantee you would not have netted same result as what happened with me and my now ex.
Why? It's disrespectful and debasing, its what you ask a 2-bit wh0re NOT a woman who's been a good friend for a year or however long you've been platonic friends.
Where's your confidence man? Your boldness, take no prisoners attitude?
Confident men LEAD, so lead.
If she shoots you down, so be, you move on.
I don’t invite them over to bang, and I certainly don’t accept friendship when they offer it or try to shoehorn me into some one sided friendship either. I just go escalate with girls who don’t need to start out as friends or give me the friend route. Been there done that, wasted a lot of time.I agree, kissing a girl at work or some random off the street is sex harassment but this girl has been a 'friend' for a year so it's a bit different.
It's called escalating, I'm sure you've heard if it? Xd
Ideally, they're sitting at the bar, drinking, he begins escalating by first flirting in a sexual way, gauging her response, waiting for a "window," then making a move by kissing her.
Just trying to help, it worked for my ex, we had sex that night!
And what pray tell do you think inviting her over to bang is? That's not sex harassment? LoL
That’s a lot of effort to put in for one girl. A year is a long time. I did that when I was younger, because I didn’t know any better.Fair enough but a few posters advised him to dial her up and invite her over to fu*k which is why I mentioned.
A few men also advised escalating at a window (which she opened for him ever so slightly), and I chose to elaborate how it can be done successfully, as it is what one of my ex's did (again we had been platonic friends for a year prior) and it worked!!
By not escalating and being direct, you just dug yourself deeper in the friend zone.Yeah I’m just trying not to come across too pushy ... because I’m trying to dig myself out the friend zone it’s harder than just meeting someone and escalating
I do think I’ve made some headway .. just need her to give clearer signals if that’s the case .... probably fu**ed it now but deffo going to learn from this
If a girl asked me “What‘s wrong, are you mad?”she'll reach out and ask "What's wrong, are you mad?" or some such BS... if she does this this is what you say:
"I'm not going to insult your intelligence by telling you what you already know. Do you really want some dude hanging around hoping things change, pretending to be your friend. It's not fair to you and it isn't fair to me. If things change and you are really available, reach out, and if I'm not involved with someone else then we can go from there."
Y’all are playing games with each other and it’s going nowhere. You’re wasting each other’s time trying to one up the other. When she said “but what you up to tomorrow” all you had to say was “I don’t think I have anything going on, tomorrow works. How about 7 at such and such bar?”. Boom, done, date set. If she flakes then you kick her to the curb, but quit doing this dance of trying to appear busy or else she’s going to lose interest if she has any. You have to get them out in person to escalate, you can’t do it over text.Decided to message her and ask if she wanted to go get a drink ... her response was
‘ I can’t today, but what you up to tomorrow?’
I just said ‘Okay! Not sure yet will let you know’
Now the way I see it is that I asked her out ... she declined, but made a counter offer
I’m literally at the point now where I need to know one way or the other as I’m certainly not game for giving her my attention if it’s going nowhere.
Can put my focus onto other plates instead.
Wtf is up with your "not sure yet" responses to her? YOU ARE NOT LEADING HER and you haven't paid very good attention to some good advice you've been given.Decided to message her and ask if she wanted to go get a drink ... her response was
‘ I can’t today, but what you up to tomorrow?’
I just said ‘Okay! Not sure yet will let you know’
Now the way I see it is that I asked her out ... she declined, but made a counter offer
I’m literally at the point now where I need to know one way or the other as I’m certainly not game for giving her my attention if it’s going nowhere.
Can put my focus onto other plates instead.
Great post. You get it. Women bring all kinds of value besides sex. Nexting over hurt feelings is just another form of ego preservation and incongruity. I save nexting for toxic women that add nothing to my life - not for simply behaving like a human and exercising their right to say no thank you. (EVERYBODY likes attention and validation...nobody forces you to dole it out.)1. Never burn, block or delete an attractive woman. They are very useful to have around and know in a world of 60% OW women. Caught feelings? She was using you? Grow up and realize that everyone is always using everyone and forget your feelings. If you asked my grandfather about his "feelings" he'd say "I feel pretty good today." If you pressed him, he'd look at you funny.
2. Use her. Take her out every night and use her to wing for you. Never go out alone when you have a choice of having a good looking female friend with you. Never. She has fun getting orbiter stuff from you, you have a massively increased SMV while with any good looking woman.
3. Sex ultimatums are cringeworthy, thirsty and whiny. You are getting some bad advice. It -may- work, but many other things will work better if she has any attraction. The way women are guarded, she may have lots of hidden attraction for you, that will evaporate with a sex ultimatum even if she complies. It appears she did/does have attraction because she has handled your d-ck in the past. That means this is NOT the textbook orbiter story.
4. Take her out and force her to wing for you without stating that overtly. Flirt with every hottie you see and introduce her. Playfully ask for threesomes or ask "do you like guys, girls or both?" to women you encounter. You may be surprised at the results and end up in a better adventure than you could imagine. When a woman who has ever handled your d-ck sees attractive women responding to you, her attraction elevates guaranteed. You can't lose, either she pays off as a good wing/preselector and you meet other women while removing your oneitis, or she gets wet watching you charm other women. You can't lose. I have used this many times over the years. Treat good looking female friends like GOLD while dating and seeking other women because they are.
5. Use her more than she uses you. All relations between men and women are transactional anyway. You can both win at this in several ways if you play it smart and grow up from hurty hurty feelings.
But tldr, NEVER block or delete a good looking woman, USE them like they use you. They are of far more use while dating than for sex alone.
Every so often, I mention members that recycle info from various player hand-books -- rather than speaking from their own experiences. The above 'advice' provides a good example. Of course, we're likely to read a follow up on how Glassguy had made this work a thousand times.The only advice I can give you is this:
When she reaches out again, say "no I am busy that night. But I am free tomorrow night between 7-9 if you want grab some take out and come over and have sex".
She will either come over and fvck or she will tell you how sh!tty of a "friend" you are.
Just drop the "and have sex" ending. Then I think it's sound advice. A girl won't place herself alone with a guy unless she acknowledges the possibility. But the man has plausible deniability (which is better anyway, because he shouldn't be committing to this outcome - he might not want to fukk her, after all).Every so often, I mention members that recycle info from various player hand-books -- rather than speaking from their own experiences. The above 'advice' provides a good example. Of course, we're likely to read a follow up on how Glassguy had made this work a thousand times.
Anyway...
Sure. A key to success is to avoid being outcome dependent, but the above advice creates potentially bad repercussions. Although a broken clock is right twice a day, sending this text is far more likely to be a recipe for disaster.
The OP didn't mention that she's shown any interest. Consequently. If they have mutual friends (ie; women he'd like to pursue) imagine their reaction when this gal is outraged and emotional and shows this text to her friends (women). The OP will either appear as inauthentic or suffering from multiple personalities.
My advice is that it's best to drop her or reap the benefit of meeting other women through her.
Every so often, I mention members that recycle info from various player hand-books -- rather than speaking from their own experiences. The above 'advice' provides a good example. Of course, we're likely to read a follow up on how Glassguy had made this work a thousand times.
Anyway...
Sure. A key to success is to avoid being outcome dependent, but the above advice creates potentially bad repercussions. Although a broken clock is right twice a day, sending this text is far more likely to be a recipe for disaster.
The OP didn't mention that she's shown any interest. Consequently. If they have mutual friends (ie; women he'd like to pursue) imagine their reaction when this gal is outraged and emotional and shows this text to her friends (women). The OP will either appear as inauthentic or suffering from multiple personalities.
My advice is that it's best to drop her or reap the benefit of meeting other women through her.
You sound a little butt hurt....not gonna lie.Of course, we're likely to read a follow up on how Glassguy had made this work a thousand times.
Anyway...
Are you blind? She could be seeing YOU - Wake UP!You guys were right ... I noticed last night that she’s changed her relationship info on social media ... not to in a relationship or anything but before you could see she was single now you can’t ... so I think she’s seeing someone. Time to move on too the next :-(