Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

kind of been hung up on this girl

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 29, 2020
Messages
1,303
Reaction score
963
Don't put the blame on her bro she's just responding to the way you were acting
 

LARaiders85

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 4, 2016
Messages
9,238
Reaction score
8,902
Age
36
Decided to message her and ask if she wanted to go get a drink ... her response was

‘ I can’t today, but what you up to tomorrow?’

I just said ‘Okay! Not sure yet will let you know’

Now the way I see it is that I asked her out ... she declined, but made a counter offer

I’m literally at the point now where I need to know one way or the other as I’m certainly not game for giving her my attention if it’s going nowhere.

Can put my focus onto other plates instead.
Reframe:

The mostly likely scenario is you remain in the friendzone. The second most likely scenario is you bang once or twice, she regrets it, and you go back in the friendzone.

This means that there is no pressure on your interactions and there is no need to overthink. The result is largely pre-determined, and success is mostly outside of your control. Relax. You are playing with house money. This is closer to a "shoot your shot" for a ONS in Ibiza knowing you're leaving the country in 2 days than a soul mate once in a lifetime opportunity nervous performance anxiety-inducer.
 

Aesthetix29

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 16, 2014
Messages
405
Reaction score
47
You guys were right ... I noticed last night that she’s changed her relationship info on social media ... not to in a relationship or anything but before you could see she was single now you can’t ... so I think she’s seeing someone. Time to move on too the next :-(
 

stringpuller

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 21, 2017
Messages
6,234
Reaction score
4,144
Im going to side with the guys saying sexualize it. I go for it.
Don't be afraid to piss her off. Be graphic with her and not timid. Tell her what you want to do to her with your animal side.

If you blow her out so what. She will respect you more as a man. Don't hide your intentions.

Too much thinking going on in this thread. Its easy to fall into. Paralysis by analysis?
 

dasein

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 9, 2013
Messages
1,113
Reaction score
190
1. Never burn, block or delete an attractive woman. They are very useful to have around and know in a world of 60% OW women. Caught feelings? She was using you? Grow up and realize that everyone is always using everyone and forget your feelings. If you asked my grandfather about his "feelings" he'd say "I feel pretty good today." If you pressed him, he'd look at you funny.
2. Use her. Take her out every night and use her to wing for you. Never go out alone when you have a choice of having a good looking female friend with you. Never. She has fun getting orbiter stuff from you, you have a massively increased SMV while with any good looking woman.
3. Sex ultimatums are cringeworthy, thirsty and whiny. You are getting some bad advice. It -may- work, but many other things will work better if she has any attraction. The way women are guarded, she may have lots of hidden attraction for you, that will evaporate with a sex ultimatum even if she complies. It appears she did/does have attraction because she has handled your d-ck in the past. That means this is NOT the textbook orbiter story.
4. Take her out and force her to wing for you without stating that overtly. Flirt with every hottie you see and introduce her. Playfully ask for threesomes or ask "do you like guys, girls or both?" to women you encounter. You may be surprised at the results and end up in a better adventure than you could imagine. When a woman who has ever handled your d-ck sees attractive women responding to you, her attraction elevates guaranteed. You can't lose, either she pays off as a good wing/preselector and you meet other women while removing your oneitis, or she gets wet watching you charm other women. You can't lose. I have used this many times over the years. Treat good looking female friends like GOLD while dating and seeking other women because they are.
5. Use her more than she uses you. All relations between men and women are transactional anyway. You can both win at this in several ways if you play it smart and grow up from hurty hurty feelings.

But tldr, NEVER block or delete a good looking woman, USE them like they use you. They are of far more use while dating than for sex alone.
 

image

"If you love women, you must read the SoSuave Guide to Women. It's fantastic!"

samspade

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2008
Messages
7,577
Reaction score
4,540
Age
45
Location
Colorado Panhandle
1. Never burn, block or delete an attractive woman. They are very useful to have around and know in a world of 60% OW women. Caught feelings? She was using you? Grow up and realize that everyone is always using everyone and forget your feelings. If you asked my grandfather about his "feelings" he'd say "I feel pretty good today." If you pressed him, he'd look at you funny.
2. Use her. Take her out every night and use her to wing for you. Never go out alone when you have a choice of having a good looking female friend with you. Never. She has fun getting orbiter stuff from you, you have a massively increased SMV while with any good looking woman.
3. Sex ultimatums are cringeworthy, thirsty and whiny. You are getting some bad advice. It -may- work, but many other things will work better if she has any attraction. The way women are guarded, she may have lots of hidden attraction for you, that will evaporate with a sex ultimatum even if she complies. It appears she did/does have attraction because she has handled your d-ck in the past. That means this is NOT the textbook orbiter story.
4. Take her out and force her to wing for you without stating that overtly. Flirt with every hottie you see and introduce her. Playfully ask for threesomes or ask "do you like guys, girls or both?" to women you encounter. You may be surprised at the results and end up in a better adventure than you could imagine. When a woman who has ever handled your d-ck sees attractive women responding to you, her attraction elevates guaranteed. You can't lose, either she pays off as a good wing/preselector and you meet other women while removing your oneitis, or she gets wet watching you charm other women. You can't lose. I have used this many times over the years. Treat good looking female friends like GOLD while dating and seeking other women because they are.
5. Use her more than she uses you. All relations between men and women are transactional anyway. You can both win at this in several ways if you play it smart and grow up from hurty hurty feelings.

But tldr, NEVER block or delete a good looking woman, USE them like they use you. They are of far more use while dating than for sex alone.
Great post. You get it. Women bring all kinds of value besides sex. Nexting over hurt feelings is just another form of ego preservation and incongruity. I save nexting for toxic women that add nothing to my life - not for simply behaving like a human and exercising their right to say no thank you. (EVERYBODY likes attention and validation...nobody forces you to dole it out.)

And yeah, ultimatums remove any mystery that was left over.
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
1,309
Reaction score
2,082
We've all been there. It looks like you've learned from this experience and so, it wasn't a total loss.

Although with eyes now open, we are prone to viewing them now as attention seeking and smug, there's more beneath the surface.

After my experience, I finally had to accept that I was responsible for creating this monster. It's sort of like a spoiled child. They didn't become this way on their own. It was due to enabling parents. This same theory also applies to women and their behaviors.
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
1,309
Reaction score
2,082
The only advice I can give you is this:

When she reaches out again, say "no I am busy that night. But I am free tomorrow night between 7-9 if you want grab some take out and come over and have sex".

She will either come over and fvck or she will tell you how sh!tty of a "friend" you are.
Every so often, I mention members that recycle info from various player hand-books -- rather than speaking from their own experiences. The above 'advice' provides a good example. Of course, we're likely to read a follow up on how Glassguy had made this work a thousand times.
Anyway...


Sure. A key to success is to avoid being outcome dependent, but the above advice creates potentially bad repercussions. Although a broken clock is right twice a day, sending this text is far more likely to be a recipe for disaster.

The OP didn't mention that she's shown any interest. Consequently. If they have mutual friends (ie; women he'd like to pursue) imagine their reaction when this gal is outraged and emotional and shows this text to her friends (women). The OP will either appear as inauthentic or suffering from multiple personalities.

My advice is that it's best to drop her or reap the benefit of meeting other women through her.
 

samspade

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2008
Messages
7,577
Reaction score
4,540
Age
45
Location
Colorado Panhandle
Every so often, I mention members that recycle info from various player hand-books -- rather than speaking from their own experiences. The above 'advice' provides a good example. Of course, we're likely to read a follow up on how Glassguy had made this work a thousand times.
Anyway...


Sure. A key to success is to avoid being outcome dependent, but the above advice creates potentially bad repercussions. Although a broken clock is right twice a day, sending this text is far more likely to be a recipe for disaster.

The OP didn't mention that she's shown any interest. Consequently. If they have mutual friends (ie; women he'd like to pursue) imagine their reaction when this gal is outraged and emotional and shows this text to her friends (women). The OP will either appear as inauthentic or suffering from multiple personalities.

My advice is that it's best to drop her or reap the benefit of meeting other women through her.
Just drop the "and have sex" ending. Then I think it's sound advice. A girl won't place herself alone with a guy unless she acknowledges the possibility. But the man has plausible deniability (which is better anyway, because he shouldn't be committing to this outcome - he might not want to fukk her, after all).
 

Glassguy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 25, 2016
Messages
4,163
Reaction score
7,250
Age
44
Every so often, I mention members that recycle info from various player hand-books -- rather than speaking from their own experiences. The above 'advice' provides a good example. Of course, we're likely to read a follow up on how Glassguy had made this work a thousand times.
Anyway...


Sure. A key to success is to avoid being outcome dependent, but the above advice creates potentially bad repercussions. Although a broken clock is right twice a day, sending this text is far more likely to be a recipe for disaster.

The OP didn't mention that she's shown any interest. Consequently. If they have mutual friends (ie; women he'd like to pursue) imagine their reaction when this gal is outraged and emotional and shows this text to her friends (women). The OP will either appear as inauthentic or suffering from multiple personalities.

My advice is that it's best to drop her or reap the benefit of meeting other women through her.
Of course, we're likely to read a follow up on how Glassguy had made this work a thousand times.
Anyway...
You sound a little butt hurt....not gonna lie.

Yes it certainly works. Most just dont have the ballz to send it. And I'm sorry, but I could give a fvck less what she thinks about it if she isnt down to grab take out and come over to bone.

When things get this far strung along with one chick, why in the world would OP, me or anyone else care what she thinks?

The minute you start worrying about what ONE women thinks over a text, call, etc.....youve lost. And you have ZERO abundance.
 

King Lion

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 18, 2020
Messages
281
Reaction score
259
Age
50
You guys were right ... I noticed last night that she’s changed her relationship info on social media ... not to in a relationship or anything but before you could see she was single now you can’t ... so I think she’s seeing someone. Time to move on too the next :-(
Are you blind? She could be seeing YOU - Wake UP!
 

TheKid

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2020
Messages
64
Reaction score
64
Age
28
It is best to just block and move on.
It might hurt for a while.. youll get over it. Everytime you look back you make going forward slower.
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
2,347
Reaction score
2,656
Age
41
Yep finally seeing this for what it is now ... I wish I’d opened my eyes earlier lol

All that time wasted ...

Worst thing is looks wise she’s a 6/10 ... I think I liked her more because of all the stuff we did together etc ...

I’m just gonna focus on me again now ... gym, tanning, nice clothes etc ... and spin plates

She keeps reaching out to me like 30 mins ago she texted me saying ‘ do you think you’ll be free one day this week then or are you working?’

I replied saying not too sure just yet, I’m really busy at the moment will keep you updated.

Her reply was ‘No worries’

I think I’m done with that now ... ain’t going anywhere ... she just wants me to stroke her ego ... she has other fu** boys for that.

I think she’s finally knows I’m getting the message and am not interested in friendship.
Proximity can make a woman seem more attractive and important in your life than she actually is. The more you communicate and spend time around a woman you like, the more attached you will become. If you can find out what the deal is quickly by making a move, then you can easily cut them off if they're not on the same page without feeling a thing. This not only saves you time and prevents women from taking advantage, but it also saves you a lot of pain and wasted emotional investment.

This is why when you meet a girl that you find attractive, you should always make a move quickly and cut off contact with women that are not cooperating - not to be an ARSSSSHOLE, but because you want to prevent yourself from getting attached to women that are not reciprocating.

There is a reason why the term "attention whoare" exists to describe women like this. They are a dime a dozen and they are just damaged women with low self-esteem that like to feed off the attention they get from men to compensate for the bad feeling they get when Chad pumps and dumps them.
 

Aesthetix29

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 16, 2014
Messages
405
Reaction score
47
Update

So last Friday this happened


So she texted me seeing if I wanted to go on a walk as it was sunny ... I agreed and picked her up ... we went to a local spot where’s there’s a waterfall and a small hike ... to cut a long story short we got to the waterfall ... and then she was like will you take a picture of me with my bum out lol ... so I wasn’t yeah sure ... anyways she’s stood there in thongs are bra ... she looks smoking, then she says your turn ha ha ... so we have some fun taking pics etc ... on the way back we chill on this huge rock .. and we’re talking and laughing about what we just did .. then she asks if ive been seeing anyone etc .. she starts to tell me that she’s been talking to abguy who’s married and he keeps sending her dirty messages begging for sex .. but she says that she said no he’s a creep (don’t by it)

I just kind of shrug it off ... then she goes to say next time we will have to go naked ha ha .. I was like cool

Anyways fast forward an hour .. I drop her off and head home ... I message her later to forward me those booty pics I took of her ... she obliged .. but about 20 mins later she messaged me saying why do you want my pics ... I tried to avoid the question with humour ... but she came back to it again lol ... she thought they was for the wank bank ha ha ... she kept asking sending those little monkey emojis... so I just said to her .. I wanted the pics because ‘I like you and you look good’

She replied with this text ‘ and now I don’t know what to make of it ‘ she was deffo flirting

Her reply ‘ Aww thank you, I don’t feel like I do atm but I’ll get there x’

Not sure what to make of that tbh ... but at least she knows now

Come Saturday we go out for drinks again ... this tune I make my move we kiss ... she blushes etc ...

But since Saturday she says she’s been really busy ... she’s still messaging me daily.

She texted me yesterday saying she’s sorry she’s been busy and let’s do something tomorrow ... I agree ... I texted her half hour ago seeing if we’re still on today ... seems like she’s getting a little flakey ...

This is where I’m currently at
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
2,347
Reaction score
2,656
Age
41
Update

So last Friday this happened


So she texted me seeing if I wanted to go on a walk as it was sunny ... I agreed and picked her up ... we went to a local spot where’s there’s a waterfall and a small hike ... to cut a long story short we got to the waterfall ... and then she was like will you take a picture of me with my bum out lol ... so I wasn’t yeah sure ... anyways she’s stood there in thongs are bra ... she looks smoking, then she says your turn ha ha ... so we have some fun taking pics etc ... on the way back we chill on this huge rock .. and we’re talking and laughing about what we just did .. then she asks if ive been seeing anyone etc .. she starts to tell me that she’s been talking to abguy who’s married and he keeps sending her dirty messages begging for sex .. but she says that she said no he’s a creep (don’t by it)

I just kind of shrug it off ... then she goes to say next time we will have to go naked ha ha .. I was like cool

Anyways fast forward an hour .. I drop her off and head home ... I message her later to forward me those booty pics I took of her ... she obliged .. but about 20 mins later she messaged me saying why do you want my pics ... I tried to avoid the question with humour ... but she came back to it again lol ... she thought they was for the wank bank ha ha ... she kept asking sending those little monkey emojis... so I just said to her .. I wanted the pics because ‘I like you and you look good’

She replied with this text ‘ and now I don’t know what to make of it ‘ she was deffo flirting

Her reply ‘ Aww thank you, I don’t feel like I do atm but I’ll get there x’

Not sure what to make of that tbh ... but at least she knows now

Come Saturday we go out for drinks again ... this tune I make my move we kiss ... she blushes etc ...

But since Saturday she says she’s been really busy ... she’s still messaging me daily.

She texted me yesterday saying she’s sorry she’s been busy and let’s do something tomorrow ... I agree ... I texted her half hour ago seeing if we’re still on today ... seems like she’s getting a little flakey ...

This is where I’m currently at
Oh man, this girl is a huge attention whoare and she's totally leading you on.

She is not flirting with you, what she's doing is baiting you and seeing if you'll take the bait. Then when you do, she pulls back.
 

image

Put away your credit card.

You can now read our detailed guide to women and dating for free - Right Here!

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
2,347
Reaction score
2,656
Age
41
Update

So last Friday this happened


So she texted me seeing if I wanted to go on a walk as it was sunny ... I agreed and picked her up ... we went to a local spot where’s there’s a waterfall and a small hike ... to cut a long story short we got to the waterfall ... and then she was like will you take a picture of me with my bum out lol ... so I wasn’t yeah sure ... anyways she’s stood there in thongs are bra ... she looks smoking, then she says your turn ha ha ... so we have some fun taking pics etc ... on the way back we chill on this huge rock .. and we’re talking and laughing about what we just did .. then she asks if ive been seeing anyone etc .. she starts to tell me that she’s been talking to abguy who’s married and he keeps sending her dirty messages begging for sex .. but she says that she said no he’s a creep (don’t by it)

I just kind of shrug it off ... then she goes to say next time we will have to go naked ha ha .. I was like cool

Anyways fast forward an hour .. I drop her off and head home ... I message her later to forward me those booty pics I took of her ... she obliged .. but about 20 mins later she messaged me saying why do you want my pics ... I tried to avoid the question with humour ... but she came back to it again lol ... she thought they was for the wank bank ha ha ... she kept asking sending those little monkey emojis... so I just said to her .. I wanted the pics because ‘I like you and you look good’

She replied with this text ‘ and now I don’t know what to make of it ‘ she was deffo flirting

Her reply ‘ Aww thank you, I don’t feel like I do atm but I’ll get there x’

Not sure what to make of that tbh ... but at least she knows now

Come Saturday we go out for drinks again ... this tune I make my move we kiss ... she blushes etc ...

But since Saturday she says she’s been really busy ... she’s still messaging me daily.

She texted me yesterday saying she’s sorry she’s been busy and let’s do something tomorrow ... I agree ... I texted her half hour ago seeing if we’re still on today ... seems like she’s getting a little flakey ...

This is where I’m currently at
Look at it from this point of view - is she cooperating?

Obviously the answer is no.

A girl that likes you wouldn't be talking about other guys or saying "I'm busy" whilst teasing you with her photos. That's the behaviour of an attention whoare.
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
2,347
Reaction score
2,656
Age
41
I'm going to analyse what happens and show you the red flags:

So she texted me seeing if I wanted to go on a walk as it was sunny ... I agreed and picked her up ...
[Her leading. When you let women lead, it generally ends badly.]

we went to a local spot where’s there’s a waterfall and a small hike ... to cut a long story short we got to the waterfall ... and then she was like will you take a picture of me with my bum out lol ...
[She led you around doing what she wanted to do. Then she started teasing you]


so I wasn’t yeah sure ... anyways she’s stood there in thongs are bra ... she looks smoking, then she says your turn ha ha ... so we have some fun taking pics etc ... on the way back we chill on this huge rock .. and we’re talking and laughing about what we just did ..
[You should have escalated at this point. Put your arm around her, tried to kiss, etc.]
[But I imagine she deliberately kept her distance from you to make it difficult. Plus she made sure to meet you in a public place}

then she asks if ive been seeing anyone etc .. she starts to tell me that she’s been talking to abguy who’s married and he keeps sending her dirty messages begging for sex .. but she says that she said no he’s a creep (don’t by it)
[More teasing to try to get a rise from you]

I just kind of shrug it off ... then she goes to say next time we will have to go naked ha ha .. I was like cool
[Taking the BS even further]

Anyways fast forward an hour .. I drop her off and head home ...
[So after all of this, nothing happened. Why not? Did you not try to make a move?]

I message her later to forward me those booty pics I took of her ... she obliged .. but about 20 mins later she messaged me saying why do you want my pics ... I tried to avoid the question with humour ... but she came back to it again lol ... she thought they was for the wank bank ha ha ... she kept asking sending those little monkey emojis... so I just said to her .. I wanted the pics because ‘I like you and you look good’
[She knows exactly why you want the pics and she wants to milk it as much as possible]

She replied with this text ‘ and now I don’t know what to make of it ‘ she was deffo flirting
[No, she was basking in the free male attention, just like when women get likes on Instagram]

Her reply ‘ Aww thank you, I don’t feel like I do atm but I’ll get there x’
[She's not interested in you, she just likes the ego boost she gets from you]

Not sure what to make of that tbh ... but at least she knows now
[She already knew. It was obvious from the first moment you spoke to her]

Come Saturday we go out for drinks again ... this tune I make my move we kiss ... she blushes etc ...
[Ah, well finally you get somewhere. That's good]

But since Saturday she says she’s been really busy ... she’s still messaging me daily.
[But now she's avoiding you. She would rather keep it online because that way she can get the attention without having to put out]

She texted me yesterday saying she’s sorry she’s been busy and let’s do something tomorrow ... I agree ... I texted her half hour ago seeing if we’re still on today ... seems like she’s getting a little flakey ...
[The word "Busy" is a sign of low interest]


This is where I’m currently at
[/QUOTE]
 

Bingo-Player

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 10, 2014
Messages
1,485
Reaction score
693
Location
uk
She is not in your frame,

You are in hers

I've not read the entire blog but your frame is wrong and because you've not corrected it early ( ensured she knows your going to fvck her ) your lost down a path of friend / beta zone

the girl is confused she knows you want to smash her yet you've not really done anything about it......WHY

Because you are afraid of her rejecting you both of you know it but then the paradox is you will never smash her

When she asked you why do you want the pictures , why did you waste 20 mins messing about in the clown zone ?

Why didnt you just say shut up and send me the pictures

FYI SHE KNOWS EXACTLY WHY YOU WANT THE PICTURES SHE'S TESTING AND PLAYING BECAUSE SHE KNOWS SHE CAN

Be the jerk , slap her ass , grope her take her in the waterfall and **** her there

infact i'm fairly confident she even gave you the open to do that

" next time we will have to go naked "

FFS why didn't you just grab her and say "fvck next time" and then smashed here there and then

thats what she wanted bro
 

King Lion

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 18, 2020
Messages
281
Reaction score
259
Age
50
Update

So last Friday this happened


So she texted me seeing if I wanted to go on a walk as it was sunny ... I agreed and picked her up ... we went to a local spot where’s there’s a waterfall and a small hike ... to cut a long story short we got to the waterfall ... and then she was like will you take a picture of me with my bum out lol ... so I wasn’t yeah sure ... anyways she’s stood there in thongs are bra ... she looks smoking, then she says your turn ha ha ... so we have some fun taking pics etc ... on the way back we chill on this huge rock .. and we’re talking and laughing about what we just did .. then she asks if ive been seeing anyone etc .. she starts to tell me that she’s been talking to abguy who’s married and he keeps sending her dirty messages begging for sex .. but she says that she said no he’s a creep (don’t by it)

I just kind of shrug it off ... then she goes to say next time we will have to go naked ha ha .. I was like cool

Anyways fast forward an hour .. I drop her off and head home ... I message her later to forward me those booty pics I took of her ... she obliged .. but about 20 mins later she messaged me saying why do you want my pics ... I tried to avoid the question with humour ... but she came back to it again lol ... she thought they was for the wank bank ha ha ... she kept asking sending those little monkey emojis... so I just said to her .. I wanted the pics because ‘I like you and you look good’

She replied with this text ‘ and now I don’t know what to make of it ‘ she was deffo flirting

Her reply ‘ Aww thank you, I don’t feel like I do atm but I’ll get there x’

Triple Facepalm.jpgNot sure what to make of that tbh ... but at least she knows now

Come Saturday we go out for drinks again ... this tune I make my move we kiss ... she blushes etc ...

But since Saturday she says she’s been really busy ... she’s still messaging me daily.

She texted me yesterday saying she’s sorry she’s been busy and let’s do something tomorrow ... I agree ... I texted her half hour ago seeing if we’re still on today ... seems like she’s getting a little flakey ...

This is where I’m currently at
Lack of Awareness.jpg
 
Top