"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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"Katherine Heigl Hates Balls"

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Burroughs

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historically a woman like this would be gang raped then ostracized.
 

vatoloco

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DJDamage said:
and if there was ever a commercial making fun of women being raped by a man, everything associated with it including the actor would be finished.
True.

But you also have to understand the value of Shock Advertising and Dark Humor. Powerful and effective.
 

Colossus

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Katherine Heigl just seems like a ****y b!tch.

Espi said:
Perfectly fine to make fun of crushing a man's balls while decrying the tragedy of breast cancer.
Funny, breast cancer isnt even the #1 killer of women, nor the #1 cancer killer. It just has so much PR and celebrity pimping that it gets undue attention when there are much more prevalent causes of morbidity and mortality out there for women, like heart disease (#1 killer), lung cancer (#1 cancer), ovarian cancer (very lethal cancer in women), and so on.

Or (gasp!) someone could pay the slightest bit of attention to prostate cancer (leading cancer in men, #2 cause of cancer death)....but nah, women and their problems are more important :rolleyes: .
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Warrior74

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Well the joke is that she's known for being a talentless harpy shrew, so you know, she'd be perfect for this? It's sorta meta that way. She thinks she's playing a talentless harpy shrew ironically, when in actuality she's just being the way everyone thinks she really is.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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Where'd you pull this from DJDAMAGE?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Jitterbug

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She needs to get a sex tape out already. Her career has completely bombed.
 

Julius_Seizeher

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Well the video's been removed now, but I hope someone gives her a pink sock and posts that sh!t on youtube.
 

MatureDJ

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DJDamage said:
Check out Kath's new scene in her new movie (fast forward to 0:50):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1Y2uXjsKjs

Its so funny! hahaha! you can clearly see the humor at what she is doing! if the situation was reversed I am sure it would have been funny as well!!
This movie sounds like a chick flick romantic comedy distilled to the purity of Everclear. I'll pass. :down:
 

MatureDJ

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Jitterbug said:
She needs to get a sex tape out already. Her career has completely bombed.
I'd even watch one of her chick flicks if she showed some snatch ...
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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mrRuckus

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Colossus said:
Katherine Heigl just seems like a ****y b!tch.



Funny, breast cancer isnt even the #1 killer of women, nor the #1 cancer killer. It just has so much PR and celebrity pimping that it gets undue attention when there are much more prevalent causes of morbidity and mortality out there for women, like heart disease (#1 killer), lung cancer (#1 cancer), ovarian cancer (very lethal cancer in women), and so on.

Or (gasp!) someone could pay the slightest bit of attention to prostate cancer (leading cancer in men, #2 cause of cancer death)....but nah, women and their problems are more important :rolleyes: .

Every season the NFL wears all that fvcking pink for breast cancer and it irritates to me no end. Men are dying, and it's a male sport, so raise awareness of male illness. Breast cancer gets entirely too much attention, and i have no idea who these women are who don't know they're supposed to get checked for it yet.
 
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