"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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BorisMoris

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She's 23 and runs between me and this other guy who's a year younger than me (37) but feckless (borrows money off her,lives in a houseshare, etc) she's not a GF just a fwb. Had argument and I mentioned I was going to get a hiv test.
She writes back saying 'she doesnt feel like being there for me, (shes childish, saying this because we've argued, on a good week she'd be compliant) but I never asked such a thing I actually just wanted to know where the nearest/best clinic was'
Heres my reply:

Result: (result of hiv test)

By the way a55hole, I didn't want you to "be there for me" I'm 38, there's nothing I need you for.
Your man-child that can't pay his own bills might need your help, I certainly don't.

I wanted your opinion on which clinic to use that was all. Sexually transmitted diseases are a new thing to me, I just thought you'd know more.

Too long? too needy? Opinions?

Before anyone says it there is virtually zero chance she's given me anything (we mainly do oral only on each other) im only getting the test done out of curiousity because to my knowledge ive never caught anything at all in my life. (and cant quite believe ive never caught even a minor std)
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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dustmuffin

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She's 23 and runs between me and this other guy who's a year younger than me (37) but feckless (borrows money off her,lives in a houseshare, etc) she's not a GF just a fwb. Had argument and I mentioned I was going to get a hiv test.
She writes back saying 'she doesnt feel like being there for me, (shes childish, saying this because we've argued, on a good week she'd be compliant) but I never asked such a thing I actually just wanted to know where the nearest/best clinic was'
Heres my reply:

Result: (result of hiv test)

By the way a55hole, I didn't want you to "be there for me" I'm 38, there's nothing I need you for.
Your man-child that can't pay his own bills might need your help, I certainly don't.

I wanted your opinion on which clinic to use that was all. Sexually transmitted diseases are a new thing to me, I just thought you'd know more.

Too long? too needy? Opinions?

Before anyone says it there is virtually zero chance she's given me anything (we mainly do oral only on each other) im only getting the test done out of curiousity because to my knowledge ive never caught anything at all in my life. (and cant quite believe ive never caught even a minor std)
If you are negative I wouldn't even send her a message. Positive results Just a Hey get checked Im positive for crotch rot or what ever. Make it short.
 

logicallefty

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Your reply was OK. Little too much negative emotion but not horrible. I might have went this route:

"Oh shoot no I didn't want you to 'be there for me'. I just wanted your opinion on which clinic to use, that was all. Sexually transmitted diseases are a new thing to me, I just thought you might be able to advise. No worries. Take care."
 

TRPShill

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She's 23 and runs between me and this other guy who's a year younger than me (37) but feckless (borrows money off her,lives in a houseshare, etc) she's not a GF just a fwb. Had argument and I mentioned I was going to get a hiv test.
She writes back saying 'she doesnt feel like being there for me, (shes childish, saying this because we've argued, on a good week she'd be compliant) but I never asked such a thing I actually just wanted to know where the nearest/best clinic was'
Heres my reply:

Result: (result of hiv test)

By the way a55hole, I didn't want you to "be there for me" I'm 38, there's nothing I need you for.
Your man-child that can't pay his own bills might need your help, I certainly don't.

I wanted your opinion on which clinic to use that was all. Sexually transmitted diseases are a new thing to me, I just thought you'd know more.

Too long? too needy? Opinions?

Before anyone says it there is virtually zero chance she's given me anything (we mainly do oral only on each other) im only getting the test done out of curiousity because to my knowledge ive never caught anything at all in my life. (and cant quite believe ive never caught even a minor std)
Multiple **** ups here.

A) you demostrated u care what she thinks and that she has strong control over ur emotional state.u looked kinda bitter. look how reactive u were. this girl runs ur emotions with little effort.

Ur good though. just dont let her affect u emotionally next time
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

BorisMoris

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Your reply was OK. Little too much negative emotion but not horrible. I might have went this route:

"Oh shoot no I didn't want you to 'be there for me'. I just wanted your opinion on which clinic to use, that was all. Sexually transmitted diseases are a new thing to me, I just thought you might be able to advise. No worries. Take care."
Thanks, I'm using this one when the results are back - it conveys pure indifference.
 

grayclif

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Sounds simply like a love triangle where the only reward is a bj or an STD. I wouldn't text her anything. Move on.
 

BorisMoris

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If she ever gets in contact again i'm just going to send a brief message to the other guy and say: Please can you get your **** buddy under control and stop her pestering me. Thanks.
 

grayclif

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If she ever gets in contact again i'm just going to send a brief message to the other guy and say: Please can you get your **** buddy under control and stop her pestering me. Thanks.
You shouldn't care remember.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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