"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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BorisMoris

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She's 23 and runs between me and this other guy who's a year younger than me (37) but feckless (borrows money off her,lives in a houseshare, etc) she's not a GF just a fwb. Had argument and I mentioned I was going to get a hiv test.
She writes back saying 'she doesnt feel like being there for me, (shes childish, saying this because we've argued, on a good week she'd be compliant) but I never asked such a thing I actually just wanted to know where the nearest/best clinic was'
Heres my reply:

Result: (result of hiv test)

By the way a55hole, I didn't want you to "be there for me" I'm 38, there's nothing I need you for.
Your man-child that can't pay his own bills might need your help, I certainly don't.

I wanted your opinion on which clinic to use that was all. Sexually transmitted diseases are a new thing to me, I just thought you'd know more.

Too long? too needy? Opinions?

Before anyone says it there is virtually zero chance she's given me anything (we mainly do oral only on each other) im only getting the test done out of curiousity because to my knowledge ive never caught anything at all in my life. (and cant quite believe ive never caught even a minor std)
 
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"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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dustmuffin

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She's 23 and runs between me and this other guy who's a year younger than me (37) but feckless (borrows money off her,lives in a houseshare, etc) she's not a GF just a fwb. Had argument and I mentioned I was going to get a hiv test.
She writes back saying 'she doesnt feel like being there for me, (shes childish, saying this because we've argued, on a good week she'd be compliant) but I never asked such a thing I actually just wanted to know where the nearest/best clinic was'
Heres my reply:

Result: (result of hiv test)

By the way a55hole, I didn't want you to "be there for me" I'm 38, there's nothing I need you for.
Your man-child that can't pay his own bills might need your help, I certainly don't.

I wanted your opinion on which clinic to use that was all. Sexually transmitted diseases are a new thing to me, I just thought you'd know more.

Too long? too needy? Opinions?

Before anyone says it there is virtually zero chance she's given me anything (we mainly do oral only on each other) im only getting the test done out of curiousity because to my knowledge ive never caught anything at all in my life. (and cant quite believe ive never caught even a minor std)
If you are negative I wouldn't even send her a message. Positive results Just a Hey get checked Im positive for crotch rot or what ever. Make it short.
 

logicallefty

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Your reply was OK. Little too much negative emotion but not horrible. I might have went this route:

"Oh shoot no I didn't want you to 'be there for me'. I just wanted your opinion on which clinic to use, that was all. Sexually transmitted diseases are a new thing to me, I just thought you might be able to advise. No worries. Take care."
 

TRPShill

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She's 23 and runs between me and this other guy who's a year younger than me (37) but feckless (borrows money off her,lives in a houseshare, etc) she's not a GF just a fwb. Had argument and I mentioned I was going to get a hiv test.
She writes back saying 'she doesnt feel like being there for me, (shes childish, saying this because we've argued, on a good week she'd be compliant) but I never asked such a thing I actually just wanted to know where the nearest/best clinic was'
Heres my reply:

Result: (result of hiv test)

By the way a55hole, I didn't want you to "be there for me" I'm 38, there's nothing I need you for.
Your man-child that can't pay his own bills might need your help, I certainly don't.

I wanted your opinion on which clinic to use that was all. Sexually transmitted diseases are a new thing to me, I just thought you'd know more.

Too long? too needy? Opinions?

Before anyone says it there is virtually zero chance she's given me anything (we mainly do oral only on each other) im only getting the test done out of curiousity because to my knowledge ive never caught anything at all in my life. (and cant quite believe ive never caught even a minor std)
Multiple **** ups here.

A) you demostrated u care what she thinks and that she has strong control over ur emotional state.u looked kinda bitter. look how reactive u were. this girl runs ur emotions with little effort.

Ur good though. just dont let her affect u emotionally next time
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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BorisMoris

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Your reply was OK. Little too much negative emotion but not horrible. I might have went this route:

"Oh shoot no I didn't want you to 'be there for me'. I just wanted your opinion on which clinic to use, that was all. Sexually transmitted diseases are a new thing to me, I just thought you might be able to advise. No worries. Take care."
Thanks, I'm using this one when the results are back - it conveys pure indifference.
 

grayclif

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Sounds simply like a love triangle where the only reward is a bj or an STD. I wouldn't text her anything. Move on.
 

BorisMoris

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If she ever gets in contact again i'm just going to send a brief message to the other guy and say: Please can you get your **** buddy under control and stop her pestering me. Thanks.
 

grayclif

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If she ever gets in contact again i'm just going to send a brief message to the other guy and say: Please can you get your **** buddy under control and stop her pestering me. Thanks.
You shouldn't care remember.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

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