"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Is this reply AFC? how would you improve?

BorisMoris

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 28, 2015
Messages
37
Reaction score
7
She's 23 and runs between me and this other guy who's a year younger than me (37) but feckless (borrows money off her,lives in a houseshare, etc) she's not a GF just a fwb. Had argument and I mentioned I was going to get a hiv test.
She writes back saying 'she doesnt feel like being there for me, (shes childish, saying this because we've argued, on a good week she'd be compliant) but I never asked such a thing I actually just wanted to know where the nearest/best clinic was'
Heres my reply:

Result: (result of hiv test)

By the way a55hole, I didn't want you to "be there for me" I'm 38, there's nothing I need you for.
Your man-child that can't pay his own bills might need your help, I certainly don't.

I wanted your opinion on which clinic to use that was all. Sexually transmitted diseases are a new thing to me, I just thought you'd know more.

Too long? too needy? Opinions?

Before anyone says it there is virtually zero chance she's given me anything (we mainly do oral only on each other) im only getting the test done out of curiousity because to my knowledge ive never caught anything at all in my life. (and cant quite believe ive never caught even a minor std)
 
Last edited:

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

dustmuffin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 21, 2015
Messages
2,495
Reaction score
1,423
Age
63
She's 23 and runs between me and this other guy who's a year younger than me (37) but feckless (borrows money off her,lives in a houseshare, etc) she's not a GF just a fwb. Had argument and I mentioned I was going to get a hiv test.
She writes back saying 'she doesnt feel like being there for me, (shes childish, saying this because we've argued, on a good week she'd be compliant) but I never asked such a thing I actually just wanted to know where the nearest/best clinic was'
Heres my reply:

Result: (result of hiv test)

By the way a55hole, I didn't want you to "be there for me" I'm 38, there's nothing I need you for.
Your man-child that can't pay his own bills might need your help, I certainly don't.

I wanted your opinion on which clinic to use that was all. Sexually transmitted diseases are a new thing to me, I just thought you'd know more.

Too long? too needy? Opinions?

Before anyone says it there is virtually zero chance she's given me anything (we mainly do oral only on each other) im only getting the test done out of curiousity because to my knowledge ive never caught anything at all in my life. (and cant quite believe ive never caught even a minor std)
If you are negative I wouldn't even send her a message. Positive results Just a Hey get checked Im positive for crotch rot or what ever. Make it short.
 

logicallefty

Moderator
Joined
Apr 26, 2006
Messages
6,000
Reaction score
5,151
Age
52
Location
Northeast Florida, USA
Your reply was OK. Little too much negative emotion but not horrible. I might have went this route:

"Oh shoot no I didn't want you to 'be there for me'. I just wanted your opinion on which clinic to use, that was all. Sexually transmitted diseases are a new thing to me, I just thought you might be able to advise. No worries. Take care."
 

TRPShill

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2015
Messages
43
Reaction score
8
Age
31
She's 23 and runs between me and this other guy who's a year younger than me (37) but feckless (borrows money off her,lives in a houseshare, etc) she's not a GF just a fwb. Had argument and I mentioned I was going to get a hiv test.
She writes back saying 'she doesnt feel like being there for me, (shes childish, saying this because we've argued, on a good week she'd be compliant) but I never asked such a thing I actually just wanted to know where the nearest/best clinic was'
Heres my reply:

Result: (result of hiv test)

By the way a55hole, I didn't want you to "be there for me" I'm 38, there's nothing I need you for.
Your man-child that can't pay his own bills might need your help, I certainly don't.

I wanted your opinion on which clinic to use that was all. Sexually transmitted diseases are a new thing to me, I just thought you'd know more.

Too long? too needy? Opinions?

Before anyone says it there is virtually zero chance she's given me anything (we mainly do oral only on each other) im only getting the test done out of curiousity because to my knowledge ive never caught anything at all in my life. (and cant quite believe ive never caught even a minor std)
Multiple **** ups here.

A) you demostrated u care what she thinks and that she has strong control over ur emotional state.u looked kinda bitter. look how reactive u were. this girl runs ur emotions with little effort.

Ur good though. just dont let her affect u emotionally next time
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

BorisMoris

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 28, 2015
Messages
37
Reaction score
7
Your reply was OK. Little too much negative emotion but not horrible. I might have went this route:

"Oh shoot no I didn't want you to 'be there for me'. I just wanted your opinion on which clinic to use, that was all. Sexually transmitted diseases are a new thing to me, I just thought you might be able to advise. No worries. Take care."
Thanks, I'm using this one when the results are back - it conveys pure indifference.
 

grayclif

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 27, 2009
Messages
531
Reaction score
223
Sounds simply like a love triangle where the only reward is a bj or an STD. I wouldn't text her anything. Move on.
 

BorisMoris

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 28, 2015
Messages
37
Reaction score
7
If she ever gets in contact again i'm just going to send a brief message to the other guy and say: Please can you get your **** buddy under control and stop her pestering me. Thanks.
 

grayclif

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 27, 2009
Messages
531
Reaction score
223
If she ever gets in contact again i'm just going to send a brief message to the other guy and say: Please can you get your **** buddy under control and stop her pestering me. Thanks.
You shouldn't care remember.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

Top