"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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BorisMoris

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She's 23 and runs between me and this other guy who's a year younger than me (37) but feckless (borrows money off her,lives in a houseshare, etc) she's not a GF just a fwb. Had argument and I mentioned I was going to get a hiv test.
She writes back saying 'she doesnt feel like being there for me, (shes childish, saying this because we've argued, on a good week she'd be compliant) but I never asked such a thing I actually just wanted to know where the nearest/best clinic was'
Heres my reply:

Result: (result of hiv test)

By the way a55hole, I didn't want you to "be there for me" I'm 38, there's nothing I need you for.
Your man-child that can't pay his own bills might need your help, I certainly don't.

I wanted your opinion on which clinic to use that was all. Sexually transmitted diseases are a new thing to me, I just thought you'd know more.

Too long? too needy? Opinions?

Before anyone says it there is virtually zero chance she's given me anything (we mainly do oral only on each other) im only getting the test done out of curiousity because to my knowledge ive never caught anything at all in my life. (and cant quite believe ive never caught even a minor std)
 
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"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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dustmuffin

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She's 23 and runs between me and this other guy who's a year younger than me (37) but feckless (borrows money off her,lives in a houseshare, etc) she's not a GF just a fwb. Had argument and I mentioned I was going to get a hiv test.
She writes back saying 'she doesnt feel like being there for me, (shes childish, saying this because we've argued, on a good week she'd be compliant) but I never asked such a thing I actually just wanted to know where the nearest/best clinic was'
Heres my reply:

Result: (result of hiv test)

By the way a55hole, I didn't want you to "be there for me" I'm 38, there's nothing I need you for.
Your man-child that can't pay his own bills might need your help, I certainly don't.

I wanted your opinion on which clinic to use that was all. Sexually transmitted diseases are a new thing to me, I just thought you'd know more.

Too long? too needy? Opinions?

Before anyone says it there is virtually zero chance she's given me anything (we mainly do oral only on each other) im only getting the test done out of curiousity because to my knowledge ive never caught anything at all in my life. (and cant quite believe ive never caught even a minor std)
If you are negative I wouldn't even send her a message. Positive results Just a Hey get checked Im positive for crotch rot or what ever. Make it short.
 

logicallefty

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Your reply was OK. Little too much negative emotion but not horrible. I might have went this route:

"Oh shoot no I didn't want you to 'be there for me'. I just wanted your opinion on which clinic to use, that was all. Sexually transmitted diseases are a new thing to me, I just thought you might be able to advise. No worries. Take care."
 

TRPShill

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She's 23 and runs between me and this other guy who's a year younger than me (37) but feckless (borrows money off her,lives in a houseshare, etc) she's not a GF just a fwb. Had argument and I mentioned I was going to get a hiv test.
She writes back saying 'she doesnt feel like being there for me, (shes childish, saying this because we've argued, on a good week she'd be compliant) but I never asked such a thing I actually just wanted to know where the nearest/best clinic was'
Heres my reply:

Result: (result of hiv test)

By the way a55hole, I didn't want you to "be there for me" I'm 38, there's nothing I need you for.
Your man-child that can't pay his own bills might need your help, I certainly don't.

I wanted your opinion on which clinic to use that was all. Sexually transmitted diseases are a new thing to me, I just thought you'd know more.

Too long? too needy? Opinions?

Before anyone says it there is virtually zero chance she's given me anything (we mainly do oral only on each other) im only getting the test done out of curiousity because to my knowledge ive never caught anything at all in my life. (and cant quite believe ive never caught even a minor std)
Multiple **** ups here.

A) you demostrated u care what she thinks and that she has strong control over ur emotional state.u looked kinda bitter. look how reactive u were. this girl runs ur emotions with little effort.

Ur good though. just dont let her affect u emotionally next time
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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BorisMoris

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Your reply was OK. Little too much negative emotion but not horrible. I might have went this route:

"Oh shoot no I didn't want you to 'be there for me'. I just wanted your opinion on which clinic to use, that was all. Sexually transmitted diseases are a new thing to me, I just thought you might be able to advise. No worries. Take care."
Thanks, I'm using this one when the results are back - it conveys pure indifference.
 

grayclif

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Sounds simply like a love triangle where the only reward is a bj or an STD. I wouldn't text her anything. Move on.
 

BorisMoris

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If she ever gets in contact again i'm just going to send a brief message to the other guy and say: Please can you get your **** buddy under control and stop her pestering me. Thanks.
 

grayclif

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If she ever gets in contact again i'm just going to send a brief message to the other guy and say: Please can you get your **** buddy under control and stop her pestering me. Thanks.
You shouldn't care remember.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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