Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
I see this phenomena all throughout the country not just colleges and lecture halls. America is socially disconnected. No one trusts their fellow neighbor, everyone is isolated. If they are together, people are in small groups and clicks. The purpose of a click, as you know, is to keep others out.abc123x said:Yes or No? Is it considered wierd for a guy to sit next to a girl he doesnt know in a lecture hall?
Lets say the lecture is pretty much packed but theres 3 empty seats next to a group of girls and you sit in the one thats next to one of the girls rather than a seat or two away.San Jose California said:How can you know someone to sit next to in every lecture hall?
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
I'd probably sit one away at first. Once you start chit-chatting and flirting you can just move over to talk/hear more easily, etc. Or if there's no talking in class you can talk to her/them afterward, "hey, I noticed you in class today..."abc123x said:Lets say the lecture is pretty much packed but theres 3 empty seats next to a group of girls and you sit in the one thats next to one of the girls rather than a seat or two away.
This. I've done the whole sit right next to her thing...and while they seemed pretty receptive, it is a little weird. You'll be perfectly fine gaming them with one measly seat in between you two.Big O said:I'd probably sit one away at first. Once you start chit-chatting and flirting you can just move over to talk/hear more easily, etc.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.