Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
If the other guy is free to meet with her. Doesn't have to be a woman holding him up. She could be submissive towards him, which would automatically lead to her being cautious about his time.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
She respects that guy while disdain for her husband grows.
It's probable that's the case.
How do u do that?
Very normal in the situations. Other guy more selfish and worried about his time and himself. Has time for fun only. Husband becomes needy yearning for her. They argue about old stuff. He tries to force it to be right which makes her try to cling onto other guy. After a few months other guy pulls back cause she thinks shes needy.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
She can respect other guy more because he respects and cares about himself. Were husband is worried more about her.
Add to that the fact that most guys don't want to be entangled in this kind of situation; married woman with two children. This screams baggage man. Some guys get off on it, but most normal humans don't want this in their lives. This, in some degree, emulates a fake abundance mindset. Because he doesn't want to spend too much time f*cking around with her due to her family, he seems like he's too busy.
there are many good and bad ones but to be honest the only thing thats gonna keep her ''good'' is if she feels like you are a step or 2 above her
That sounds like my situation... lol
You'd literally have to be MORE selfish than those guys, respecting your time, energy and resources even more. AND have a rich life outside of her. It's a tough situation, which has a low success rate, because the men haven't been disciplined enough to detach, and stop desiring/stop helping her. And to start living strong outside of her. Plus it's a low rate of success situation anyways, it's more profitable and much more SANE to get the hell outta there when she's not interested enough.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
That is true. Im trying to figure out what is going on. Wondering why i get attitude from her. And the whole time... shes had a side squeeze. She didnt want to work on anythinh with me bc she didnt want to get fixed. It doesnt matter to her. As long as she has the other guy there. Now... shes started being sweet the last week or so... very sweet and attentive... indidnt realize how mean she had been until she started being sweet and affectionate.
Yeh. With kids in the mix... it makes it difficult...
Your still not there. You have to be man enough to not want anyones scraps or second affections. This is a tough situation that men would PAY for an optimal solution, and it's not going to be completely positive, you will have to take some hurtful negative actions to get there, still no guarantees.
U reco divorce?
Very wise in your situation to divorce. To "flip" your situation is incredibly hard, but it will make you a stronger incredibly disciplined man. You have to get "ahead" of her in several categories. She has to choose you.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
So you think... without a doubt shes cheating?. What brings ubto the divorce conclusion? Thx
Her being sweet and attentive is another red flag that something is going on I'm afraid...
If your not getting what you need, and your getting depleted by the interaction she may as well be cheating. You would take the same steps which we will define here.
I am... lots of activity... lots...
Sweet and attentive might mean she got off the other guy, perhaps he pushed her away or broke up. And if it isn't another guy, she just might be hanging with her girlfriends real tough, leaving you dragging behind with no care in the world.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.