timmylivingalie
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- May 9, 2011
- Messages
- 226
- Reaction score
- 1
Since its about to become winter and most people are wearing jackets is it ok to put your hands in your jacket pockets?
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
HalfAddict said:Yeah if you ever feel like putting your hands in your pocket instead place your thumbs in the belt loops on the front of your pants.
timmylivingalie said:Since its about to become winter and most people are wearing jackets is it ok to put your hands in your jacket pockets?
Thankssamspade said:Body language has meaning. There is such a thing as signaling.
Recently I saw a group of groomsmen waiting to pose for wedding photos in a park. They were all acting jovial, making jokes and smiling, laughing, etc. One guy stood in the back, looking down a lot, with his hands firmly ensconced in his pant pockets. He was chuckling with the rest, but if I asked you to pick out the biggest Follower in the group, you'd have no problem singling this guy out, solely based on body language.
If I can see it, imagine what the opposite sex reads into it.
ThanksNutz said:Generally, yes, it's bad body language. It can come off as insecure and send subtle cues that you're hiding something. What you can do to make it okay is to disqualify it from being a bad thing, simply by saying "brrr... it's cold out here!" and then stuff your hands in your pockets. That's a lot different from rolling up to a woman with your hands hidden from the start.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.