timmylivingalie
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- May 9, 2011
- Messages
- 226
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Since its about to become winter and most people are wearing jackets is it ok to put your hands in your jacket pockets?
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
HalfAddict said:Yeah if you ever feel like putting your hands in your pocket instead place your thumbs in the belt loops on the front of your pants.
timmylivingalie said:Since its about to become winter and most people are wearing jackets is it ok to put your hands in your jacket pockets?
Thankssamspade said:Body language has meaning. There is such a thing as signaling.
Recently I saw a group of groomsmen waiting to pose for wedding photos in a park. They were all acting jovial, making jokes and smiling, laughing, etc. One guy stood in the back, looking down a lot, with his hands firmly ensconced in his pant pockets. He was chuckling with the rest, but if I asked you to pick out the biggest Follower in the group, you'd have no problem singling this guy out, solely based on body language.
If I can see it, imagine what the opposite sex reads into it.
ThanksNutz said:Generally, yes, it's bad body language. It can come off as insecure and send subtle cues that you're hiding something. What you can do to make it okay is to disqualify it from being a bad thing, simply by saying "brrr... it's cold out here!" and then stuff your hands in your pockets. That's a lot different from rolling up to a woman with your hands hidden from the start.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.