timmylivingalie
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- May 9, 2011
- Messages
- 226
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Since its about to become winter and most people are wearing jackets is it ok to put your hands in your jacket pockets?
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
HalfAddict said:Yeah if you ever feel like putting your hands in your pocket instead place your thumbs in the belt loops on the front of your pants.
timmylivingalie said:Since its about to become winter and most people are wearing jackets is it ok to put your hands in your jacket pockets?
Thankssamspade said:Body language has meaning. There is such a thing as signaling.
Recently I saw a group of groomsmen waiting to pose for wedding photos in a park. They were all acting jovial, making jokes and smiling, laughing, etc. One guy stood in the back, looking down a lot, with his hands firmly ensconced in his pant pockets. He was chuckling with the rest, but if I asked you to pick out the biggest Follower in the group, you'd have no problem singling this guy out, solely based on body language.
If I can see it, imagine what the opposite sex reads into it.
ThanksNutz said:Generally, yes, it's bad body language. It can come off as insecure and send subtle cues that you're hiding something. What you can do to make it okay is to disqualify it from being a bad thing, simply by saying "brrr... it's cold out here!" and then stuff your hands in your pockets. That's a lot different from rolling up to a woman with your hands hidden from the start.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.