"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Ignored by all, lol - need a social circle

gspshields2

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I need to find a good social circle. The problem is that I don't really have a social circle right now, just individual friends. Any suggestions?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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sexysuave

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where do you live? how long have you lived there?
 

FairShake

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Get with the one at work. Or at the local bars. Or with your individual friends. That's what people do.
 

JPlaya

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The curse of the cliches. Just be awesome and they'll invite you in to their group.
 

kentgraham10

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Social circles suck. I am part of a few, one that is terrible for social gatherings, another that is really good for that kind of stuff but we rarely meet. Then there are some others that stay where they are, like the gym group, college group, etc.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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PapiChulo

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Canada, eh?
I had a few and they all sucked in terms of meeting women, plus, other guys were jealous of me and ****-blocking hard, keeping women away from me. There are some that have only average women in them. I realize that one need a circle of cool dudes who associate with attractive women. I would start with finding good mates first, the kind with whom you can go on adventures and that isn't far off from what you are.
 

thevilittletroll

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find a cool bar or pub close to your house and go there for happy hour every day. you'll become a regular, get to know all the bartenders, then just meet all the other regulars there. after about a week, you'll know who they are.
 

gspshields2

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there is no social circle at work,
only old people are here, thats the problem,

and the cool kids from highschool are the only ones i know but they arent cool with me
 

loveshogun

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You're in high school? This explains everything.

Being popular in high school is like winning the prize in a Crackerjack box - you're a big fish in a small pond.

I know this, because I was well-liked in high school. After I learned to stop being a little b*tch about "not having friends," anyway. I translated that to the rest of my life as I continued to grow.

Just focus on schoolwork, your hobbies, and the things you like to do, dude. You're in frickin' high school. What do you expect? Drug-fueled orgies? You won't get those 'til at least college.
 

gspshields2

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loveshogun said:
You're in high school? This explains everything.

Being popular in high school is like winning the prize in a Crackerjack box - you're a big fish in a small pond.

I know this, because I was well-liked in high school. After I learned to stop being a little b*tch about "not having friends," anyway. I translated that to the rest of my life as I continued to grow.

Just focus on schoolwork, your hobbies, and the things you like to do, dude. You're in frickin' high school. What do you expect? Drug-fueled orgies? You won't get those 'til at least college.
no im not in highschool, im saying the cool kids i KNEW FROM highschool. they are the only alpha males i know. ive been out of school for some time, im in my mid twenties. im working.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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synergy1

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to me, friendships start from common interests. Specifically, I have made my social circles through my hockey, and TAing in college. I maintain several social circles, but stick with the same one from when I graduated college. Its not as easy when you are working full time to get a social group since everyone is married, has kids and is doing their own thing. If i had to start over, I'd probably join some athletic clubs including: hockey, running, biking, and than try to meet women in a few random yoga classes ( those things will kill you). The first one is my passion, and there aren't many women in that, but the others there certainly are.
 

thevilittletroll

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google search co-ed sports clubs in your area. you'll find everything from softball, kickball, tennis, volleyball, soccer, all kinds of stuff. easy to meet single girls and make new guy friends.
 
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