Yesterday everyone in my office was working late and our only female colleague decided to buy a load of snacks and drinks to help get us through the remainder of the day. I complimented her saying ‘she was like the mother of the office’ and was met with a stern ‘please don’t say that’ by her and a similar comment from a male senior... I’m informed that this is now a sexest thing to say..Is it?
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
I told a female colleague she was the ‘mother of the office’
- Thread starter switch7
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
EyeBRollin
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Yes, it is. She told you this directly. I’d apologize to her in a sincere tone and say you won’t make a comment like that again.
This is NOT the “fight” to pick in regards to right vs wrong. The me too movement is costing men their jobs every day. Companies will fire you immediately at the first wind of sexual harassment.
Also, that was a shvtty compliment. Graciousness is - “thank you for the snacks. I appreciate it.” You sounded like an ungrateful dvck.
How on earth is that sexist/sexual harassment?
If anything she's probably p!ssed because she doesn't want to be seen as old
She sounds like a bag of misery. I would have a FIELD day with her
If anything she's probably p!ssed because she doesn't want to be seen as old
She sounds like a bag of misery. I would have a FIELD day with her
It's costing women their jobs too. Some companies won't hire them
EyeBRollin
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“Mother” is not something you’d say to a man.
It doesn’t matter why she is pissed. Pissing off coworkers creates an uncomfortable work environment. This is amplified even more when females are in question. No one wants to work with an aszhole.
Evidence?
Not looking for an argument here, I’m looking to be educated and have this rationalised as to why it’s offensive..
maybe I’m being dumb but I really don’t get it
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
I could write a big reply but I'm just going to say I don't care
Some people are just looking to be offended
And Forbes is my evidence. Google it
EyeBRollin
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Don’t compliment women ever in a work environment. It’s inappropriate. Why did you feel the need to say that rather than a simple thank you?
EyeBRollin
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No. You just have poor social skills.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
EyeBRollin
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Why would you neg someone at work?
I saw females saying that to they bosses and teacher in college, since he really did helped everyone in there.If a male did the same would you say “you’re like the daddy of the office”?
zekko
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Not saying that you would or you wouldn't. I just think it sounds like a neg.
No i'd probably use the word mother again.If a male did the same would you say “you’re like the daddy of the office”?
Rather than assigning roles for office work behavior, a simple Thanks for thinking about us, it was very considerate, would have been more than sufficient …
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
So if one guy in the office decides to bring the post up from the reception every morning out of his choice, and after saying thank you I say to him 'you are like the postman of the office', is that offensive?
Why is jokingly giving a role, offensive? I want to get down to why this is actually offensive and unprofessional? What is the reason for this etiquette? What does it prevent, what does it achieve?
I actually work in a really chilled office. Its not professional or corporate whatsoever, apart from the work we do. We wear what we want, work flexible hours, make dis tasteful jokes out of the other guys and get them back. (we do software development, so think your typical computer geeks) I guess that's partly why I don't get the reaction of this woman.
You are looking for a logical answer. I can’t explain why, it just is asking for trouble to refer to women at work as or describe them as anything other than your coworker.
20 years ago this comment would have not been an issue at all but we live in hypersensitive times and women like this h*e at your job are looking for any reason they can to say “me too”