Yesterday everyone in my office was working late and our only female colleague decided to buy a load of snacks and drinks to help get us through the remainder of the day. I complimented her saying ‘she was like the mother of the office’ and was met with a stern ‘please don’t say that’ by her and a similar comment from a male senior... I’m informed that this is now a sexest thing to say..Is it?
Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
I told a female colleague she was the ‘mother of the office’
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"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
EyeBRollin
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Yes, it is. She told you this directly. I’d apologize to her in a sincere tone and say you won’t make a comment like that again.
This is NOT the “fight” to pick in regards to right vs wrong. The me too movement is costing men their jobs every day. Companies will fire you immediately at the first wind of sexual harassment.
Also, that was a shvtty compliment. Graciousness is - “thank you for the snacks. I appreciate it.” You sounded like an ungrateful dvck.
How on earth is that sexist/sexual harassment?
If anything she's probably p!ssed because she doesn't want to be seen as old
She sounds like a bag of misery. I would have a FIELD day with her
If anything she's probably p!ssed because she doesn't want to be seen as old
She sounds like a bag of misery. I would have a FIELD day with her
It's costing women their jobs too. Some companies won't hire them
EyeBRollin
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“Mother” is not something you’d say to a man.
It doesn’t matter why she is pissed. Pissing off coworkers creates an uncomfortable work environment. This is amplified even more when females are in question. No one wants to work with an aszhole.
Evidence?
Not looking for an argument here, I’m looking to be educated and have this rationalised as to why it’s offensive..
maybe I’m being dumb but I really don’t get it
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
I could write a big reply but I'm just going to say I don't care
Some people are just looking to be offended
And Forbes is my evidence. Google it
EyeBRollin
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Don’t compliment women ever in a work environment. It’s inappropriate. Why did you feel the need to say that rather than a simple thank you?
EyeBRollin
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No. You just have poor social skills.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
EyeBRollin
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Why would you neg someone at work?
I saw females saying that to they bosses and teacher in college, since he really did helped everyone in there.If a male did the same would you say “you’re like the daddy of the office”?
zekko
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Not saying that you would or you wouldn't. I just think it sounds like a neg.
No i'd probably use the word mother again.If a male did the same would you say “you’re like the daddy of the office”?
Rather than assigning roles for office work behavior, a simple Thanks for thinking about us, it was very considerate, would have been more than sufficient …
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
So if one guy in the office decides to bring the post up from the reception every morning out of his choice, and after saying thank you I say to him 'you are like the postman of the office', is that offensive?
Why is jokingly giving a role, offensive? I want to get down to why this is actually offensive and unprofessional? What is the reason for this etiquette? What does it prevent, what does it achieve?
I actually work in a really chilled office. Its not professional or corporate whatsoever, apart from the work we do. We wear what we want, work flexible hours, make dis tasteful jokes out of the other guys and get them back. (we do software development, so think your typical computer geeks) I guess that's partly why I don't get the reaction of this woman.
You are looking for a logical answer. I can’t explain why, it just is asking for trouble to refer to women at work as or describe them as anything other than your coworker.
20 years ago this comment would have not been an issue at all but we live in hypersensitive times and women like this h*e at your job are looking for any reason they can to say “me too”