Yesterday everyone in my office was working late and our only female colleague decided to buy a load of snacks and drinks to help get us through the remainder of the day. I complimented her saying ‘she was like the mother of the office’ and was met with a stern ‘please don’t say that’ by her and a similar comment from a male senior... I’m informed that this is now a sexest thing to say..Is it?
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
I told a female colleague she was the ‘mother of the office’
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"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
EyeBRollin
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Yes, it is. She told you this directly. I’d apologize to her in a sincere tone and say you won’t make a comment like that again.
This is NOT the “fight” to pick in regards to right vs wrong. The me too movement is costing men their jobs every day. Companies will fire you immediately at the first wind of sexual harassment.
Also, that was a shvtty compliment. Graciousness is - “thank you for the snacks. I appreciate it.” You sounded like an ungrateful dvck.
How on earth is that sexist/sexual harassment?
If anything she's probably p!ssed because she doesn't want to be seen as old
She sounds like a bag of misery. I would have a FIELD day with her
If anything she's probably p!ssed because she doesn't want to be seen as old
She sounds like a bag of misery. I would have a FIELD day with her
It's costing women their jobs too. Some companies won't hire them
EyeBRollin
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“Mother” is not something you’d say to a man.
It doesn’t matter why she is pissed. Pissing off coworkers creates an uncomfortable work environment. This is amplified even more when females are in question. No one wants to work with an aszhole.
Evidence?
Not looking for an argument here, I’m looking to be educated and have this rationalised as to why it’s offensive..
maybe I’m being dumb but I really don’t get it
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I could write a big reply but I'm just going to say I don't care
Some people are just looking to be offended
And Forbes is my evidence. Google it
EyeBRollin
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Don’t compliment women ever in a work environment. It’s inappropriate. Why did you feel the need to say that rather than a simple thank you?
EyeBRollin
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No. You just have poor social skills.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
EyeBRollin
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Why would you neg someone at work?
I saw females saying that to they bosses and teacher in college, since he really did helped everyone in there.If a male did the same would you say “you’re like the daddy of the office”?
zekko
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Not saying that you would or you wouldn't. I just think it sounds like a neg.
No i'd probably use the word mother again.If a male did the same would you say “you’re like the daddy of the office”?
Rather than assigning roles for office work behavior, a simple Thanks for thinking about us, it was very considerate, would have been more than sufficient …
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
So if one guy in the office decides to bring the post up from the reception every morning out of his choice, and after saying thank you I say to him 'you are like the postman of the office', is that offensive?
Why is jokingly giving a role, offensive? I want to get down to why this is actually offensive and unprofessional? What is the reason for this etiquette? What does it prevent, what does it achieve?
I actually work in a really chilled office. Its not professional or corporate whatsoever, apart from the work we do. We wear what we want, work flexible hours, make dis tasteful jokes out of the other guys and get them back. (we do software development, so think your typical computer geeks) I guess that's partly why I don't get the reaction of this woman.
You are looking for a logical answer. I can’t explain why, it just is asking for trouble to refer to women at work as or describe them as anything other than your coworker.
20 years ago this comment would have not been an issue at all but we live in hypersensitive times and women like this h*e at your job are looking for any reason they can to say “me too”