B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
I'm at a bar right now and I can't approach anybody. I feel like I have nothing to say.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I enjoy asking people about themselves. I like sports, music, movies, health and fitness but lately I haven't been interested in much of anything because I've been so miserable living in my parent's house. I seem to complimenting girls more than getting the story. Does that sound like autism?What are your interests? What do you enjoy talking about?
It's hard to be confident bringing a girl home when your home ain't your own.I enjoy asking people about themselves. I like sports, music, movies, health and fitness but lately I haven't been interested in much of anything because I've been so miserable living in my parent's house. I seem to complimenting girls more than getting the story. Does that sound like autism?
I don't know what you want me to do...I'm worried about having autism. I don't wanna be autistic. Maybe I should see an expert to tell me either way. I can't stop thinking about the possibility of being aspergers.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.