"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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I need to borrow a funny, smartass, c0cky, funny-sexy remark for this statement.

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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BillyPilgrim

BillyPilgrim

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"How do you feel about Mexico's treatment of central american illegals?"
 
B

BaronOfHair

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Travel memoir21 said:
lol…I asked her what she thought about Ice and she gave me a passionate essay. Give me your best ball buster for this one
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"Honey, Uncle Sam stopped taking civil liberties seriously, back when S1 of The Patridge Family was still in production. You'll have more success convincing Bin Salman over in Saudi Arabia to stop beheading journalists he doesn't find sufficiently reverent"
 
RoadKing_Rabbit

RoadKing_Rabbit

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Since she went dun and gone philo sofffical, I'd go with Calvin and Hobbes, "Tell me, is it static electricity that makes your hair do that?"
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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sevbucmash

sevbucmash

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Reply: It's the damn jews poisoning our nation with browns, so we don't rebel against them. Sending back illegals is saving America, it's a holly thing to do. Along with illegals, Adrea, I'd also send all the jews, browns with citizenship, and other immigrants that make America brown, back to their native brown habitat in Africa and Latin America.
 
Gamisch

Gamisch

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This is painful to watch...

Whenever I end up in a argument with a womam I know its curtains. Especially in the apps.

You ask for a sexy comeback? Thats like asking how to season a turd so it tastes somewhat better...

Instead of a turd ( aka the political discussion) you should have started with a juicy steak( aka be seductive and sexual).

All you can do now is tuck your tail between your legs , agree with her and change the subject into something sexual.
 
Travel memoir21

Travel memoir21

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sevbucmash said:
Reply: It's the damn jews poisoning our nation with browns, so we don't rebel against them. Sending back illegals is saving America, it's a holly thing to do. Along with illegals, Adrea, I'd also send all the jews, browns with citizenship, and other immigrants that make America brown, back to their native brown habitat in Africa and Latin America.
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Browns with citizenship? Some of those folks happens to be outstanding American citizens who gives back to their community….your views are racist as far as I’m concerned.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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