I may be getting a little black-pilled now...

[Sega Genesis]

What I don't agree with is having certain problems just because YOU say I do.

^^I don't expect you to. That's not why I post.
I post my opinion based on things you have posted and how I interpret it. And for you to think about and consider with an open mind.

You're not always right.

I don't claim to be. Again my opinion for you to consider. That's all.

You don't want to consider what I've suggested which BTW is not unlike what many others have suggested? That is fine.

You do you man, good luck.

 

[BPH]

@BeExcellent has posted about this many times but try looking within, internally, and taking stock of where you are and where you're going and as the narrator said in the video just posted "take a year off from women and get your fukkin shyt together."

This was your suggestion.

I'm building a business around helping guys get better at talking to women. Why would I then stop talking to women?

It would be like if I were a personal trainer who stopped going to the gym.

I had a guy message me last night while I was out at this bar, all the way from Australia, who was interested in what I'm offering, and scheduled a call for Monday. There's another guy on this forum who expressed interest in DMs, but hasn't scheduled a call yet. I've started creating and uploading content, and my YouTube shorts have about 1500 views between 7 1-minute clips over the course of a single week.

I'm working on it, but it's not going to be an overnight thing, and I'm ok with that. The fact that I've had more success with this than any of my previous "bright ideas" leads me to believe I'm on the proper path.

 

[Sega Genesis]

This was your suggestion.

Not just mine BPH but others suggested it too, including the poster who uploaded the video where the narrator had made that statement which I happened to agree with.

Again for you to consider.

Good luck with the coaching business; I have an opinion about that too but will refrain from posting it. It's not important and would serve no good purpose.

Again I truly wish you well and apologize IF my post(s) offended you.

 

[nicksaiz65]

I'm thinking living in a bigger city would help a lot. Then there would be so many different women that you wouldn't run into the same ones over and over. More bars to go to as well.

I used to live in a small town, would see the exact same faces, and then once I moved into a bigger city I no longer had that issue.

I also have friends in their 30s who are pulling younger women in those cites, I’ve never heard of them getting backlash for it. I’m guessing that’s the college bar thing, there are more venues in those bigger cities to choose from as well.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Actually, for the thread, I want to give more specifics on what I did to escape my small town situation so I’m not like “just move to a bigger city bro” (not helpful lol.) Maybe some will find this useful.

At the time, everyone on SS was saying my city was too small for game so here’s what I did.. I didn’t even have a car at the time(was using rideshares )

So in my small town, I was already employed as an entry level software engineer. I used a company sponsored program to get my Security+ and AWS Certified Cloud Practitioner certifications. That gave me a substantial raise after my review. I also studied for interviews and popular programming frameworks an sh*t ton. Eventually, I landed an interview and jumped to a company paying me WAY more (I got a $40K raise by doing this.)

While studying, I also got a second job working as a Line Cook 3-4x a week, to bring in more money. I got my game fix by driving out on the weekend to bigger cities and crashing on a friends couch.

With all of these together, I put together enough money to get my own vehicle, move out of the small town, and get an apt downtown in the bigger city.

It was game changing because now there’s a fresh rotation of women every weekend.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Actually, for the thread, I want to give more specifics on what I did to escape my small town situation so I’m not like “just move to a bigger city bro” (not helpful lol.) Maybe some will find this useful.

At the time, everyone on SS was saying my city was too small for game so here’s what I did.. I didn’t even have a car at the time(was using rideshares )

So in my small town, I was already employed as an entry level software engineer. I used a company sponsored program to get my Security+ and AWS Certified Cloud Practitioner certifications. That gave me a substantial raise after my review. I also studied for interviews and popular programming frameworks an sh*t ton. Eventually, I landed an interview and jumped to a company paying me WAY more (I got a $40K raise by doing this.)

While studying, I also got a second job working as a Line Cook 3-4x a week, to bring in more money. I got my game fix by driving out on the weekend to bigger cities and crashing on a friends couch.

With all of these together, I put together enough money to get my own vehicle, move out of the small town, and get an apt downtown in the bigger city.

It was game changing because now there’s a fresh rotation of women every weekend.

Oh; one last critical point that I NEED to bring up. One thing I did to make this plan a success was to download an automatic budgeting app. I use Monarch money. When I first did this plan, the first few months I didn’t make much progress because I overcompensated by increasing my spending to match my increased income. I think it’s human nature tbh.

I needed to point my money at the goal of escaping that situation. Once I tracked my income and spending, and gave every dollar a job(get out of that suffocating situation), and executed the rest of my plan; I was able to escape it, fix my transportation, and get to a bigger city.

 

[Hoodie]

I don't really have a goal with this post, but last night I was out and it was quite bad, so I want to talk about it.

I was originally going to title this "The Tea App...", since that is the primary issue I had, but I also wanted to talk about 2 other instances of bad behavior that really disappointed me.

I think the reason I want to vent about this is that it describes something beyond my control, where I don't see a solution beyond simply going elsewhere.

Anyway...

Exhibit A

There was a girl I met on Thursday night. We hit it off, but she was with her friends and wanted to get to know me better. I took her number and left it at that, with the plan to see her the next night (Friday night). I texted her when I was on my way, and I ran into her near the bathroom, waiting for her friend after I got served my drink.

We hug, say hi, and make a little bit of small talk before her friend rejoins her. She mentions that they had both been at the bar since 7PM, but I commented that neither girl had a drink in their hand, and asked if they were done for the night.

They were not, and she replied by asking if I wanted to buy her a drink. The friend then chimes in and says "me too", to which my girl agreed, saying that "where I go, she goes". I just stare at them both for a moment - I'm kind of in disbelief at how quickly we went from "hello" to "buy us both drinks". I turn to my girl and ask if she's gonna buy me a drink after I buy her one...

She says "maybe", but the friend chimes in again and says "no, that's not how this works". She then proceeds to shame me for saying this in a variety of ways, starting with asking if I have a job, and whether I couldn't afford drinks...then saying I mustn't be a real man, and asking if I wanted to bring in another guy to compensate...then proceeding to chant "STINGY! STINGY! STINGY!"

I'm just staring at them both in silence, again, in disbelief at this behavior. Most of it was the friend, but my girl didn't say anything - just stared at me, waiting to see whether I'd do what her friend said.

So I said nothing, walked away, and deleted that girl's number.

Exhibit B

There was a girl I met last week at this bar. We sorta hit it off, but the interest didn't seem high enough - I had her number and we followed each other on Instagram, but she rarely texted back. We also saw each other on multiple nights that week, and she never really made time for me when I was there.

Basically, she's probably not that interested, but she's also not rejecting me, so when I saw her last night after having had several drinks, I figured it couldn't hurt to say hi and feel things out.

She was happy to see me...but her friend...

I think I might've mentioned this somewhere within the last week, but in case I'm misremembering, this girl has an extremely average-looking friend who is belligerently drunk every time I see her, leading to the girl I'm interested in always taking care of her and doing what she wants.

This friend STRONGLY dislikes me. The reason? Because I'm 31 years old. She finds it creepy and predatory that I'm at a college bar, by myself, talking to women 9-10 years younger than myself. And she is making that especially known tonight - to the point where the girl I came for has barely said anything, and as in the example of Exhibit A, hasn't intervened or said anything to put a stop to her friend's tirade.

I see there is no "win" to be had here, so I say "you girls have fun", then walk away to continue my night.

Exhibit C

So this is the one I REALLY want to talk about...

Remember the girl I wrote about a mere 2 weeks ago for my 106th lay report? Long story short, we met up at the bar for the second time that weekend, things went well and I left the bar with her, I prevented a fight after her friend's drunken boyfriend punched a random guy in the face, f***ed twice at her place, spent the night, had some pillow talk in the morning, kissed her goodbye, then texted her later and I mentioned she liked my messages.

Since then, she hadn't been free due to midterms. We saw each other at the bar last weekend, and she smiled at me with her same friend, but she wasn't interested in hooking up that night - she said she just didn't feel like it that night. She would later text me that she's not interested in anything right now because she's a senior and feels that she needs to get her life together in preparation for graduating. I told her I understood, and that was it. She still followed me on Instagram and watches all the stuff I post.

After both the above events last night, I saw her and her girlfriend sitting in a booth and came over to say hi. The vibe was very different this time...

They both looked disgusted by me. I asked what was wrong. They tell me I have a LOT of red flags on the Tea app, stating that women are calling me manipulative, abusive, and plenty of other terrible things. Now, I figured that I was on the app, but I'm surprised that whatever's being said about me is enough to convince two women who thought positively about me 1-2 weeks ago that I'm now a terrible person.

And I tell them this: that I thought they knew me a little better than that, how I spent the night with this girl, and kept her friend's boyfriend from getting his a** kicked. But they're now adamant that I'm a creepy guy preying on younger women at a college bar, and want nothing to do with me.

I leave them alone, and later text my girl that I'm a bit disappointed that, despite having spent time with me in person, she's valuing a "review" of me made by an anonymous stranger on an app. That turns into a back-and-forth discussion that would resume for a short time in the morning.

It boils down to her calling me a predator, thinking it's really creepy that I think she's hot when she's 10 years younger than me, and saying that my behavior is juvenile while comparing me to her 30-year-old brother. She goes on to say that somebody on the app called me "physically abusive", which she takes very seriously, discredits my role in preventing the fight her friend's boyfriend almost caused because I "didn't do sh**, it's because WE were all there", and then going so far as to say I must've followed her home that night to sleep with her because she was blacked out.

No mention of the conversation we had in the morning, kissing me goodbye, liking my text messages, following me on Instagram - none of that. But at this point, that didn't matter, so I just deleted her number and blocked her.

The reason this bothers me so is because I can't imagine what's being said about me if it's enough to convince somebody who's already met me that I must be vastly different than the person they met - and those claims can be made anonymously, with zero recourse for the person being "reviewed", and zero consequence for the person being dishonest with their "review".

I'm now wondering how many women at this bar have read the same things about me that this girl above has read, and believe them.

I actually used a selfie of my mom to see if I would get accepted on the app. I know it won't change anything, and I figured I was on it, but I'm curious how bad it must really be. And, for the record, the vetting process is a selfie...you don't need a picture of your ID, you can select whatever city, and you're hidden behind a username you create for yourself. There's a 72-hour waitlist to be approved, because this app has over 1,000,000 users pending approval, and is the #1 downloaded app under Lifestyle...

Like I said, I don't really have a goal with this post; I'm just very disappointed in the state of modern dating for men...I feel I'm living in the worst timeline to be a man...at least in terms of dating.

Chris Evans started dating the woman he's now married to when he was 40 and she was 24. Leonardo DiCaprio is infamous for his "cutoff age" of 25 when it comes to the women he dates, while he is 50. But I do the same as a younger man, with a smaller age gap, and I'm a predator?

I'd mentioned before that I'm starting to see the same girls at this bar over and over again. I'll probably start to go elsewhere, like Philly, or just not go out at all for a while.

I'm just extremely disappointed and wanted to share and vent about this experience.

How is Exhibit A black pill? Exhibit A you can do something with regardless of how you look: Make money!
It's actually the opposite of black pill: You have to power to make money regardless of how you look.
I don't think women being gold diggers should come as a surpise, it's been a constant in women throughout our evolution.
In fact it should be a relief that this is still true, because it's one thing you can control, as opposed to height.

 

[BPH]

How is Exhibit A black pill? Exhibit A you can do something with regardless of how you look: Make money!
It's actually the opposite of black pill: You have to power to make money regardless of how you look.
I don't think women being gold diggers should come as a surpise, it's been a constant in women throughout our evolution.
In fact it should be a relief that this is still true, because it's one thing you can control, as opposed to height.

Black-pilled as in disappointment that this kind of behavior by young women is normalized and accepted. The shamelessness is what boggles my mind.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Black-pilled as in disappointment that this kind of behavior by young women is normalized and accepted. The shamelessness is what boggles my mind.

It's been going on thousands of years... civilizations have literally been destroyed over women.

What happens today is extremely insignificant in comparison.

 

[Barrister]

Black-pilled as in disappointment that this kind of behavior by young women is normalized and accepted. The shamelessness is what boggles my mind.

BPH - I don't want to sound insulting, but you seem to have a limited understanding of women on anything more than a superficial one if this truly comes as a surprise to you. I commend your lay count, but this is how women operate and always have. In 2025, our society implicitly encourages this kind of behavior from women but it ultimately is just a reflection of their own desire to arrange security in their lives. That is something that women have done since the beginning of time and will continue to do until our species is extinct. It is in their very fabric to obtain security for themselves (and by extension any children if they have them) at all costs.

Women can be absolutely ruthless -- especially to those (usually men) who they deem unable to provide them anything of use. Your example in your OP is like a 1/10 for ruthlessness though. Trust me when I say this is nothing compared to what they are capable of.

 

[BPH]

BPH - I don't want to sound insulting, but you seem to have a limited understanding of women on anything more than a superficial one if this truly comes as a surprise to you. I commend your lay count, but this is how women operate and always have. In 2025, our society implicitly encourages this kind of behavior from women but it ultimately is just a reflection of their own desire to arrange security in their lives. That is something that women have done since the beginning of time and will continue to do until our species is extinct. It is in their very fabric to obtain security for themselves (and by extension any children if they have them) at all costs.

Women can be absolutely ruthless -- especially to those (usually men) who they deem unable to provide them anything of use. Your example in your OP is like a 1/10 for ruthlessness though. Trust me when I say this is nothing compared to what they are capable of.

I'm not surprised. As I said above, I'm just disappointed.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I'm not surprised. As I said above, I'm just disappointed.

Why would you be disappointed when this is what should be expected? Disappoinment typically comes from you expecting one thing but having another happen.

 

[Solomon]

Actually, for the thread, I want to give more specifics on what I did to escape my small town situation so I’m not like “just move to a bigger city bro” (not helpful lol.) Maybe some will find this useful.

At the time, everyone on SS was saying my city was too small for game so here’s what I did.. I didn’t even have a car at the time(was using rideshares )

So in my small town, I was already employed as an entry level software engineer. I used a company sponsored program to get my Security+ and AWS Certified Cloud Practitioner certifications. That gave me a substantial raise after my review. I also studied for interviews and popular programming frameworks an sh*t ton. Eventually, I landed an interview and jumped to a company paying me WAY more (I got a $40K raise by doing this.)

While studying, I also got a second job working as a Line Cook 3-4x a week, to bring in more money. I got my game fix by driving out on the weekend to bigger cities and crashing on a friends couch.

With all of these together, I put together enough money to get my own vehicle, move out of the small town, and get an apt downtown in the bigger city.

It was game changing because now there’s a fresh rotation of women every weekend.

I remember reading your old fr's if I recall correctly, you had to drive 40-60 minutes and you were going to Nashville right?

I gotta commend you bro, you got people who have been on the this forum for over 15 years and arer sitll paying for only fans models. Your progress is amazing you should do a full thread breaking it down from the logistics of being with your friend to your lifestyle now

 

[BPH]

Why would you be disappointed when this is what should be expected? Disappoinment typically comes from you expecting one thing but having another happen.

Because I'd see a lot of doom and gloom posts in this forum, and see @MatureDJ post random dystopian articles about the current dating landscape. I'd think they're overselling it, but then, when I'm repeatedly experiencing these cycles of bad behavior on a regular basis, and I'M finally having a bad time...I can only imagine how much worse it must be for the average guy.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Because I'd see a lot of doom and gloom posts in this forum, and see @MatureDJ post random dystopian articles about the current dating landscape. I'd think they're overselling it, but then, when I'm repeatedly experiencing these cycles of bad behavior on a regular basis, and I'M finally having a bad time...I can only imagine how much worse it must be for the average guy.

This is a projection.

 

[BPH]

This is a projection.

Whatever you wanna call it, man...you asked why I was disappointed, I answered.

 

[BaronOfHair]

...when I'm repeatedly experiencing these cycles of bad behavior on a regular basis, and I'M finally having a bad time...I can only imagine how much worse it must be for the average guy.

We all make a conscious choice to label events "bad", rather than discussing specifics:

"Something happened that I found unsatisfying... What outcome do I prefer instead? Is my desire especially sane or rational? If so, what concrete, tangible steps can I start taking toward achieving those goals today?"

If you're encountering women you find objectionable in one location, it just may be astute to hunt in different venues and locales. You wouldn't at this stage in your life-I presume anyway-continue walking through a neighborhood where you've been physically assaulted and relieved of your cash more than once, would you?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Whatever you wanna call it, man...you asked why I was disappointed, I answered.

Most men are struggling due to failure to adapt as needed, nothing else.

Like anything in life, adapt or die.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Most men are struggling due to failure to adapt as needed, nothing else.

Like anything in life, adapt or die.

We are always living through natural selection. Either adapt or die.

 

[Sega Genesis]

@BPH I wanted to run something by you, let me know what you think.

I've been staying with my brother (who is early 40s, single and dating casually by choice), and I ran the Exhibit A scenario by him last night during dinner.

For context, he's tall, good looking, a physique to die for (a recovering alcoholic who now considers the gym his 'drug' of choice).

Anyway...

He said he's encountered Ex A quite often in some form or fashion and how he deals with it and would have dealt with your situation is....

When your girl's friend started in with her shaming calling you stingy etc, he would have whispered in your girl's ear "sure I'd love to buy you a drink, let's get the hell outta here just the two of us."

He said very rarely will women go against their friends when they begin acting bytchy which is why it's up to the man to quietly take charge and lead by suggesting you and the girl leave the bar together just the two of you.

Most of the time, it's worked like a charm and even had the night end with sex but IF she resists and insists on staying with her friend, he would say "OK I'll leave you ladies to it then, have a good evening."

He would then go sit at the bar, chat with the bartender and others at the bar and not give what just happened a second thought.

He said he might even have bought the two ladies a drink, have the waitress deliver but give them no more attention after that.

Note literally nothing rattles my brother. Nothing! He's always cool, calm collected, stoic to a fault (imo) but he'd give a friend the shirt off his back if necessarily and the ladies adore him!

Curious what your thoughts are re how he would have handled it?