I may be getting a little black-pilled now...

[Vanderdonck]

Don't be silly Billy. No intel needed. Every player I've ever known (friends, exes, spouses) eventually gets tired of the player lifestyle because essentially they eventually develop or mature out of it. It becomes empty/meaningless and at that point a quality relationship holds greater value.

Now that may take years or even decades, but eventually it happens.

So not worried about all that, lol.

I would say I left it behind, but I can also always go back to it if I find myself single again. Enjoying the company of multiple women was never empty or meaningless for me, and to this day I have great memories (and some friendships) from those affairs. Being in a quality LTR with one great woman is not better than being single but different in its own great way.

However I do think that it's unsustainable to keep aging and fukking around unless your resources are such that you don't mind being a sugar daddy at some point. Guys will either pick one to settle down or stay single if they prefer to live alone.

 

[sevbucmash]

Having rental property, and not owning a home is similar to being homeless.

Same with having no kids in your 30's and 40's, it's similar to failing in life.

Sometimes you just have to stop being a player and focus on your primal instincts.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I've always thought that was mostly silly, the whole "those that can't do, teach".

Mostly what I've found is that it's far harder to be able to explain things to others in a way that allows them to understand than it is to actually do, which is why more people don't teach. Because they suck at being able to explain things well enough.

Knowing how to do something and being able to explain it in simple terms to people who don't know the topic are completely different things.

Of course, nothing is hard and fast. But one hand, you have Calvin Klein who can sum up publicity, reputation and intrigue in a single comment, who literally built an empire on the back of bad press that he took advantage of young models, and then you have Robert Greene. In my humble opinion, Klein's comment is iconic, and the simplicity, completeness, and level of success and reach between the two are not even in the same orbit.

 

[CornbreadFed]

In 2025 I actually think we are starting to see more red pill women , Tiktok is flooded with women calling out men for what they deem as low quality male behaviour.

Most men are garbage quality in 2025. It’s really not that hard to stick out now as compared to previous years.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I think about 5 years ago there was a big noise from red / black pill men on social media about "high value women" and because of that I think women around the world really started to realise that constantly doing selfies , thirst traps and club activity was low quality female behaviour and if you look now a lot of them have really started sanitising their public image.

In 2025 I actually think we are starting to see more red pill women , Tiktok is flooded with women calling out men for what they deem as low quality male behaviour.

And with all due respect OP you are a walking red flag to these types of women

Naturally older millennial women are taking the charge on this but Gen Z women are clearly following closely

I think being a 30 something guy trying to blend in with 20 somethings in the club especially just to pickup is becoming very very difficult

Even if the chick you're trying to pick up is cool with it theres a very very high chance one of her friends will have been red pilled against it. So you're fighting a losing battle.

There are certain scenarios where it can still work such as holiday resorts or maybe the gym ... but personally I think frequenting a local bar as a 30 something man constantly trying to pick up younger women is really asking for trouble in todays society.

I don't know about that. If you are older and have your act together, you can scoop a 20 something woman, at least where I am from. As was just said, men today are not what they used to be. Maybe our parents and their hard-nosed attitude were onto something. As was said in a different thread, I see 20 somethings that I know through family leaning more into traditional ideas.

 

[Barrister]

OP,

Little surprised you are letting this affect you as much as you stated given your interactions with women. All DJs know you can go through dry spells or swing and misses from time to time that is largely out of your control. I think you got some great advice from BeExcellent here though.

So long as you aren't firmly in the #MeToo area, remember that ANY press is good press. Infamy is just as useful in the dating world as anything. Plenty of women are highly turned on by the guy who gets around and has his way with women and maybe behaves dubiously or boorishly. Use it to your advantage. I agree -- get right back out there with a new attitude and you won't be long for your next LR posting here at SS.

Good luck, brother.

 

[retardedautist2020]

I don't really have a goal with this post, but last night I was out and it was quite bad, so I want to talk about it.

I was originally going to title this "The Tea App...", since that is the primary issue I had, but I also wanted to talk about 2 other instances of bad behavior that really disappointed me.

I think the reason I want to vent about this is that it describes something beyond my control, where I don't see a solution beyond simply going elsewhere.

Anyway...

Exhibit A

There was a girl I met on Thursday night. We hit it off, but she was with her friends and wanted to get to know me better. I took her number and left it at that, with the plan to see her the next night (Friday night). I texted her when I was on my way, and I ran into her near the bathroom, waiting for her friend after I got served my drink.

We hug, say hi, and make a little bit of small talk before her friend rejoins her. She mentions that they had both been at the bar since 7PM, but I commented that neither girl had a drink in their hand, and asked if they were done for the night.

They were not, and she replied by asking if I wanted to buy her a drink. The friend then chimes in and says "me too", to which my girl agreed, saying that "where I go, she goes". I just stare at them both for a moment - I'm kind of in disbelief at how quickly we went from "hello" to "buy us both drinks". I turn to my girl and ask if she's gonna buy me a drink after I buy her one...

She says "maybe", but the friend chimes in again and says "no, that's not how this works". She then proceeds to shame me for saying this in a variety of ways, starting with asking if I have a job, and whether I couldn't afford drinks...then saying I mustn't be a real man, and asking if I wanted to bring in another guy to compensate...then proceeding to chant "STINGY! STINGY! STINGY!"

I'm just staring at them both in silence, again, in disbelief at this behavior. Most of it was the friend, but my girl didn't say anything - just stared at me, waiting to see whether I'd do what her friend said.

So I said nothing, walked away, and deleted that girl's number.

Exhibit B

There was a girl I met last week at this bar. We sorta hit it off, but the interest didn't seem high enough - I had her number and we followed each other on Instagram, but she rarely texted back. We also saw each other on multiple nights that week, and she never really made time for me when I was there.

Basically, she's probably not that interested, but she's also not rejecting me, so when I saw her last night after having had several drinks, I figured it couldn't hurt to say hi and feel things out.

She was happy to see me...but her friend...

I think I might've mentioned this somewhere within the last week, but in case I'm misremembering, this girl has an extremely average-looking friend who is belligerently drunk every time I see her, leading to the girl I'm interested in always taking care of her and doing what she wants.

This friend STRONGLY dislikes me. The reason? Because I'm 31 years old. She finds it creepy and predatory that I'm at a college bar, by myself, talking to women 9-10 years younger than myself. And she is making that especially known tonight - to the point where the girl I came for has barely said anything, and as in the example of Exhibit A, hasn't intervened or said anything to put a stop to her friend's tirade.

I see there is no "win" to be had here, so I say "you girls have fun", then walk away to continue my night.

Exhibit C

So this is the one I REALLY want to talk about...

Remember the girl I wrote about a mere 2 weeks ago for my 106th lay report? Long story short, we met up at the bar for the second time that weekend, things went well and I left the bar with her, I prevented a fight after her friend's drunken boyfriend punched a random guy in the face, f***ed twice at her place, spent the night, had some pillow talk in the morning, kissed her goodbye, then texted her later and I mentioned she liked my messages.

Since then, she hadn't been free due to midterms. We saw each other at the bar last weekend, and she smiled at me with her same friend, but she wasn't interested in hooking up that night - she said she just didn't feel like it that night. She would later text me that she's not interested in anything right now because she's a senior and feels that she needs to get her life together in preparation for graduating. I told her I understood, and that was it. She still followed me on Instagram and watches all the stuff I post.

After both the above events last night, I saw her and her girlfriend sitting in a booth and came over to say hi. The vibe was very different this time...

They both looked disgusted by me. I asked what was wrong. They tell me I have a LOT of red flags on the Tea app, stating that women are calling me manipulative, abusive, and plenty of other terrible things. Now, I figured that I was on the app, but I'm surprised that whatever's being said about me is enough to convince two women who thought positively about me 1-2 weeks ago that I'm now a terrible person.

And I tell them this: that I thought they knew me a little better than that, how I spent the night with this girl, and kept her friend's boyfriend from getting his a** kicked. But they're now adamant that I'm a creepy guy preying on younger women at a college bar, and want nothing to do with me.

I leave them alone, and later text my girl that I'm a bit disappointed that, despite having spent time with me in person, she's valuing a "review" of me made by an anonymous stranger on an app. That turns into a back-and-forth discussion that would resume for a short time in the morning.

It boils down to her calling me a predator, thinking it's really creepy that I think she's hot when she's 10 years younger than me, and saying that my behavior is juvenile while comparing me to her 30-year-old brother. She goes on to say that somebody on the app called me "physically abusive", which she takes very seriously, discredits my role in preventing the fight her friend's boyfriend almost caused because I "didn't do sh**, it's because WE were all there", and then going so far as to say I must've followed her home that night to sleep with her because she was blacked out.

No mention of the conversation we had in the morning, kissing me goodbye, liking my text messages, following me on Instagram - none of that. But at this point, that didn't matter, so I just deleted her number and blocked her.

The reason this bothers me so is because I can't imagine what's being said about me if it's enough to convince somebody who's already met me that I must be vastly different than the person they met - and those claims can be made anonymously, with zero recourse for the person being "reviewed", and zero consequence for the person being dishonest with their "review".

I'm now wondering how many women at this bar have read the same things about me that this girl above has read, and believe them.

I actually used a selfie of my mom to see if I would get accepted on the app. I know it won't change anything, and I figured I was on it, but I'm curious how bad it must really be. And, for the record, the vetting process is a selfie...you don't need a picture of your ID, you can select whatever city, and you're hidden behind a username you create for yourself. There's a 72-hour waitlist to be approved, because this app has over 1,000,000 users pending approval, and is the #1 downloaded app under Lifestyle...

Like I said, I don't really have a goal with this post; I'm just very disappointed in the state of modern dating for men...I feel I'm living in the worst timeline to be a man...at least in terms of dating.

Chris Evans started dating the woman he's now married to when he was 40 and she was 24. Leonardo DiCaprio is infamous for his "cutoff age" of 25 when it comes to the women he dates, while he is 50. But I do the same as a younger man, with a smaller age gap, and I'm a predator?

I'd mentioned before that I'm starting to see the same girls at this bar over and over again. I'll probably start to go elsewhere, like Philly, or just not go out at all for a while.

I'm just extremely disappointed and wanted to share and vent about this experience.

Like others have mentioned, you expect to find mature mentally stable women at bars? The worst type of people go to clubs and bars. Attention seekers, fakes, insecure people, you name it. Now you’re seeing the other side of things, good for you.

You’re not becoming black pilled. I believe you are changing for the better. Accept the change and move on from the bar scene.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Like others have mentioned, you expect to find mature mentally stable women at bars? The worst type of people go to clubs and bars. Attention seekers, fakes, insecure people, you name it. Now you’re seeing the other side of things, good for you.

You’re not becoming black pilled. I believe you are changing for the better. Accept the change and move on from the bar scene.

Not bad advice

 

[Clockwerk50]

I think about 5 years ago there was a big noise from red / black pill men on social media about "high value women" and because of that I think women around the world really started to realise that constantly doing selfies , thirst traps and club activity was low quality female behaviour and if you look now a lot of them have really started sanitising their public image.

In 2025 I actually think we are starting to see more red pill women , Tiktok is flooded with women calling out men for what they deem as low quality male behaviour.

And with all due respect OP you are a walking red flag to these types of women

Naturally older millennial women are taking the charge on this but Gen Z women are clearly following closely

I think being a 30 something guy trying to blend in with 20 somethings in the club especially just to pickup is becoming very very difficult

Even if the chick you're trying to pick up is cool with it theres a very very high chance one of her friends will have been red pilled against it. So you're fighting a losing battle.

There are certain scenarios where it can still work such as holiday resorts or maybe the gym ... but personally I think frequenting a local bar as a 30 something man constantly trying to pick up younger women is really asking for trouble in todays society.

I don’t think this is driven by the red pill movement since that's more conservative and promotes traditional gender roles. This feels more aligned with the progressive culture, in which emphasizes accountability, social justice, transparency, and encourages women to call out behavior they view as manipulative or disrespectful.

I’m not sure how progressive or conservative this college bar is but it’d be interesting to see if OP would have a different experience in a more conservative social environment.

 

[BPH]

OP,

Little surprised you are letting this affect you as much as you stated given your interactions with women. All DJs know you can go through dry spells or swing and misses from time to time that is largely out of your control. I think you got some great advice from BeExcellent here though.

So long as you aren't firmly in the #MeToo area, remember that ANY press is good press. Infamy is just as useful in the dating world as anything. Plenty of women are highly turned on by the guy who gets around and has his way with women and maybe behaves dubiously or boorishly. Use it to your advantage. I agree -- get right back out there with a new attitude and you won't be long for your next LR posting here at SS.

Good luck, brother.

I guess the only question I have at this point is whether to leave up that big, nasty comment or try to get it taken down.

Is that too much infamy if it's able to have the effect it had on the girl in Exhibit C?

I'll tag @BeExcellent in this as well to see what she thinks, since her response at that time was to get it taken down or pay an attorney to handle it.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I guess the only question I have at this point is whether to leave up that big, nasty comment or try to get it taken down.

Is that too much infamy if it's able to have the effect it had on the girl in Exhibit C?

I'll tag @BeExcellent in this as well to see what she thinks, since her response at that time was to get it taken down or pay an attorney to handle it.

Calling someone a child molester is a classic example of libel. It should be easy to get removed.

This link has four different emails to send your complaint to.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AWDTSGisToxic/s/e9u6KbZeLX

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Calling someone a child molester is a classic example of libel. It should be easy to get removed.

This link has four different emails to send your complaint to.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AWDTSGisToxic/s/e9u6KbZeLX

He could also threaten legal action against the Tea itself since they are ultimately responsible for the content on there whether they want to be or not.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Just read this and I cannot understand how this came to be with your experience with women? The game has caught up to you, time to figure something else out James Franklin

 

[retardedautist2020]

I guess the only question I have at this point is whether to leave up that big, nasty comment or try to get it taken down.

Is that too much infamy if it's able to have the effect it had on the girl in Exhibit C?

I'll tag @BeExcellent in this as well to see what she thinks, since her response at that time was to get it taken down or pay an attorney to handle it.

You should ask her when you should do chores or what time you should go to bed while you’re at it.

 

[BeExcellent]

You should ask her when you should do chores or what time you should go to bed while you’re at it.

Well that was kinda unnecessary @retardedautist2020 as its a decent question.

@BPH I concur with @Bible_Belt and @BackInTheGame78 that its worth removing. Chances are you might succeed in getting it taken down yourself, but a lawyer will know how to effectively sabre rattle or shake the trees.

Sometimes its money well spent. A lawyer could also demand that the author of the particularly bad comment be revealed, so you could then have the lawyer send that individual a cease & decist. If you know who wrote it, (BPD ex or sister) then you determine course of action from there.

 

[Vanderdonck]

I think you should look into contacting the app and getting it taken down. People get revenge or unconsented porn removed all the time. This amounts to slander if they're calling you physically abusive.

As an aside I think it's very fukked up that there are apps rating people like this but that's the sad world we live in.

This is less about what these girls choose to believe, they sound sad and pathetic for even being this app and being so pliable. They say you're manipulative but they're manipulated by a stupid app.

There is nothing creepy about dating younger women (or people for anyone of any gender) who are consenting adults. My response to women who say this is exactly that, and that they sound just like disapproving racists and homophobes. Out-woke them. (Plus it's true, this is just modern bigotry.) That's if I say anything at all, better not to get roped into all that and just live your life.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Well that was kinda unnecessary @retardedautist2020 as its a decent question.

I don’t think it’s a decent question anymore. Maybe it was 3 pages ago but now it’s really getting sad to watch. Why not just take a poll at this point?

 

[Divorced w 3]

Why would you use a lawyer first. You realize the first thing the lawyer is going to say is did you ask them to take it down. That’s the first thing a judge is going to do too. Are you willing to go all the way and file suit? Do you have 5-7k to throw into that strategy? Lot of advice being thrown around here by folks that clearly haven’t spent much time in the legal process.

Try email, which is free. Don’t even mention seeking counsel. Don’t get them defensive. Come in peace. It’s not like they wrote it themselves. Be detailed, state specifically what you want, describe exactly what’s wrong with it, and be professional. Appeal emotionally within professional context. Be firm but professional. Just come off the innocent guy caught in some nuts crossfire.

9/10 times I would guess this gets the job done. If it doesn’t then you seek counsel.

This thread is turning into major mental masturbation.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

There is nothing creepy about dating younger women (or people for anyone of any gender) who are consenting adults. My response to women who say this is exactly that, and that they sound just like disapproving racists and homophobes. Out-woke them. (Plus it's true, this is just modern bigotry.)

I love this! Genious

 

[Clockwerk50]

I think you should look into contacting the app and getting it taken down. People get revenge or unconsented porn removed all the time. This amounts to slander if they're calling you physically abusive.

As an aside I think it's very fukked up that there are apps rating people like this but that's the sad world we live in.

This is less about what these girls choose to believe, they sound sad and pathetic for even being this app and being so pliable. They say you're manipulative but they're manipulated by a stupid app.

There is nothing creepy about dating younger women (or people for anyone of any gender) who are consenting adults. My response to women who say this is exactly that, and that they sound just like disapproving racists and homophobes. Out-woke them. (Plus it's true, this is just modern bigotry.) That's if I say anything at all, better not to get roped into all that and just live your life.

I am Colombian, and in my country, even though it's not very common, it is somewhat normalized for older men to date younger women. This is due to the fact that the law does not prohibit it after a certain age since the legal age of consent is 14.

Because of economic conditions, biologically, women tend to prefer being with older men who they believe have more experience, financial stability, and other benefits. It's often about survival and the instinct to secure a future. Socially, some families are so large and under-resourced that parents can't wait for the girls to turn 18 so they can leave the house. From that point on, these young women often have to do whatever they can to survive.

With this in mind, it's partly due to a lack of education, and older men essentially become a means of survival. Younger women often flirt with them because of the circumstances they face. My own parents have a 14-year age difference, and my mom had me when she was 23 and my dad was 37. I personally don’t see anything wrong with it since I am desensitized but some of the girls I date in North America sometimes find it gross. :/