I may be getting a little black-pilled now...

[Vanderdonck]

I am Colombian, and in my country, even though it's not very common, it is somewhat normalized for older men to date younger women. This is due to the fact that the law does not prohibit it after a certain age since the legal age of consent is 14.

Because of economic conditions, biologically, women tend to prefer being with older men who they believe have more experience, financial stability, and other benefits. It's often about survival and the instinct to secure a future. Socially, some families are so large and under-resourced that parents can't wait for the girls to turn 18 so they can leave the house. From that point on, these young women often have to do whatever they can to survive.

With this in mind, it's partly due to a lack of education, and older men essentially become a means of survival. Younger women often flirt with them because of the circumstances they face. My own parents have a 14-year age difference, and my mom had me when she was 23 and my dad was 37. I personally don’t see anything wrong with it since I am desensitized but some of the girls I date in North America sometimes find it gross. :/

Well people can think whatever they want, they're going to judge one way or another so we might as well do what we want as long as nobody gets hurt.

I have a 17 year difference with my woman. Have had age differences in the past of 38/21, 42/22, 31/22 etc. Have been with some older when I was younger too. Life is short, if two people like each other that's what matters.

 

[BPH]

Just read this and I cannot understand how this came to be with your experience with women? The game has caught up to you, time to figure something else out James Franklin

To be fair, it's really just been my experience with this particular bar over the course of the last 2 months. This new class of graduates has been strange...as I'd mentioned before, I'd never seen this bar without a line on Thursday and Fridays, nor have I seen them cut bartenders early because it wasn't busy enough.

I don’t think it’s a decent question anymore. Maybe it was 3 pages ago but now it’s really getting sad to watch. Why not just take a poll at this point?

Look, from the feedback I've received on this, my plan is to contact the app to get that post taken down, and I'll likely go to this same bar by myself on Thursday and do what @BeExcellent by just posting up and being observational and leaving early (most likely without my friend, since I don't think I feel like listening to him complain), then probably visit Philly on Friday.

As stated in the OP, this thread didn't really have a goal; I was just venting about an experience that felt beyond my control due to something that had never existed before (an app to review and bash men). I received a variety of advice on how to move forward, which I appreciate, notably from @BeExcellent @Vanderdonck @Barrister @The Duke , and @sevbucmash for finding the contact information to have the post taken down.

That said, you recently went through a breakup and were giving constant updates on your mental status and play-by-plays on how your ex was acting. You received advice and sympathy from me, @Dr.Suave , and several others, so I'd think you'd have a little more patience for a thread like this.

Girls saying they don't like me is one thing, but being accused of being physically abusive and pursuing underage girls is a little different. This is definitely one of those times I want to "measure twice, cut once".

EDIT: Apparently, the Tea app has been removed from the app store, at least according to a subreddit about the app and Are We Dating the Same Guy. The app still functions, so this doesn't affect existing users, however.

 

[Divorced w 3]

To be fair, it's really just been my experience with this particular bar over the course of the last 2 months. This new class of graduates has been strange...as I'd mentioned before, I'd never seen this bar without a line on Thursday and Fridays, nor have I seen them cut bartenders early because it wasn't busy enough.



Look, from the feedback I've received on this, my plan is to contact the app to get that post taken down, and I'll likely go to this same bar by myself on Thursday and do what @BeExcellent by just posting up and being observational and leaving early (most likely without my friend, since I don't think I feel like listening to him complain), then probably visit Philly on Friday.

As stated in the OP, this thread didn't really have a goal; I was just venting about an experience that felt beyond my control due to something that had never existed before (an app to review and bash men). I received a variety of advice on how to move forward, which I appreciate, notably from @BeExcellent @Vanderdonck @Barrister @The Duke , and @sevbucmash for finding the contact information to have the post taken down.

That said, you recently went through a breakup and were giving constant updates on your mental status and play-by-plays on how your ex was acting. You received advice and sympathy from me, @Dr.Suave , and several others, so I'd think you'd have a little more patience for a thread like this.

Girls saying they don't like me is one thing, but being accused of being physically abusive and pursuing underage girls is a little different. This is definitely one of those times I want to "measure twice, cut once".

I very much appreciate your empathy, in that thread. The point of that thread is to vent. I also haven’t posted there in probably a week or more.

Here’s the point - there’s nothing to cut and measure you’re being accused of sexual assault and you started asking what to do about it. If I was being accused of sexual assault it would not require pages of reassuring. You handle that directly and you don’t let it linger. You should even ask for a public apology.

If you keep asking for everyone’s advice you’re going to finally hear something that works for you just don’t be upset when people who have given you alternative suggestions start to think you’re not serious about getting the advice your asking for.

You may want to vent and talk about alternatives but when it comes to something like this, there’s only one way to handle it.

 

[Bokanovsky]

So long as you aren't firmly in the #MeToo area, remember that ANY press is good press. Infamy is just as useful in the dating world as anything. Plenty of women are highly turned on by the guy who gets around and has his way with women and maybe behaves dubiously or boorishly. Use it to your advantage. I agree -- get right back out there with a new attitude and you won't be long for your next LR posting here at SS.

This may work, to some extent, with some women, IF you are some kind of a celebrity or a person with an obvious/established high status. It's not going to work for some average dude who meets a girl at a bar and she then goes on an app and finds out that other women have described him as an abuser, manipulator, etc. I just don't see it. Most women are sheep. If they see another woman badmouthing a guy, they are not going to give him the benefit of the doubt. OP's "Exhibit C" is proof of that fact.

 

[BeExcellent]

Why would you use a lawyer first. You realize the first thing the lawyer is going to say is did you ask them to take it down. That’s the first thing a judge is going to do too. Are you willing to go all the way and file suit? Do you have 5-7k to throw into that strategy? Lot of advice being thrown around here by folks that clearly haven’t spent much time in the legal process.

Try email, which is free. Don’t even mention seeking counsel. Don’t get them defensive. Come in peace. It’s not like they wrote it themselves. Be detailed, state specifically what you want, describe exactly what’s wrong with it, and be professional. Appeal emotionally within professional context. Be firm but professional. Just come off the innocent guy caught in some nuts crossfire.

9/10 times I would guess this gets the job done. If it doesn’t then you seek counsel.

This thread is turning into major mental masturbation.

Depends on the monetary value of his time. In his case, he probably could try himself to get it removed because of the legitimate reasons to do so everyone has pointed out. They may make it difficult or be non-responsive or obstinate, in which case escalation to an attorney (or paralegal) makes sense.

I mean, people can clean up their own credit too. All you have to do is spend hours learning exactly what language to use, where & how to send your correspondence, and so forth. If it was easy and quick to fool with everyone would navigate it themselves, and "credit repair" companies who do this for a fee would not exist.

I'm sure there are specialists for this sort of thing as well, who, for a fee, will deal with problem, saving him time and headache. But he will have to decide the value of his time/money.

That's all.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Depends on the monetary value of his time. In his case, he probably could try himself to get it removed because of the legitimate reasons to do so everyone has pointed out. They may make it difficult or be non-responsive or obstinate, in which case escalation to an attorney (or paralegal) makes sense.

I mean, people can clean up their own credit too. All you have to do is spend hours learning exactly what language to use, where & how to send your correspondence, and so forth. If it was easy and quick to fool with everyone would navigate it themselves, and "credit repair" companies who do this for a fee would not exist.

I'm sure there are specialists for this sort of thing as well, who, for a fee, will deal with problem, saving him time and headache. But he will have to decide the value of his time/money.

That's all.

Monetary value of his time: sure, go call. Maybe you get a free consult. If not? $300 spent talking to attorney = 98% likely they say, 'Go email or call them and ask them to take it down based on it being untrue and reputationally irreparable.'

The attorney has no standing to take the post down without a court judgement. Court judgement = $5-7-10k.

Letter from attorney = waste of money if not willing to go the distance.

I've dealt with counsel once or twice in my life - civil, criminal, labor, etc.

 

[BeExcellent]

Monetary value of his time: $300 spent talking to attorney = 98% likely they say, 'Go email or call them and ask them to take it down based on it being untrue and reputationally irreparable.'

The attorney has no standing to take the post down without a court judgement. Court judgement = $5-7-10k.

Letter from attorney = waste of money if not willing to go the distance.

I've dealt with counsel once or twice in my life - civil, criminal, etc.

No judgement is required for a lawyer to send a correspondence and often that proves enough for the offending group to take the matter seriously and act to pre emptively avoid potential for a judgment.

My parents were both attorneys and my father would advise trying first yourself, then you have the lawyer send a letter, which can be done for a nominal fee.

BPH can research that in his area and will find what I am saying is accurate. He can also research firms that provide this as a service.

 

[Divorced w 3]

No judgement is required for a lawyer to send a correspondence and often that proves enough for the offending group to take the matter seriously and act to pre emptively avoid potential for a judgment.

My parents were both attorneys and my father would advise trying first yourself, then you have the lawyer send a letter, which can be done for a nominal fee.

BPH can research that in his area and will find what I am saying is accurate. He can also research firms that provide this as a service.

Right, and also- now that the app has been taken off of the App Store, which his email can and should reference, you would think an email from him showing proof and claiming reputational slander would hit harder than ever.

Also, his attorney won’t be working pro bono, like your father and my uncle did for us back in the day.

 

[sevbucmash]

Then you just find tea app's ipa for iphone or apk for android, and the other's app's apk or ipa and sideload it to your device. No big deal that's not in the app store.

Sberbank is not in the app store, it does not stop Russians from doing online banking.

 

[Barrister]

OP - I understand 100% why you don't like the comments that have been made on this app. To be honest, it is a fairly obscure app that I doubt many women are using. I am going to go against the grain and say to not even bother messing with it.

Some woman wrote down you are a molester? Give me a break. Anyone, man or woman, with half a brain is going to know that is almost certainly a load of BS and is being made by either someone psychotic or someone with an axe to grind. It flat out isn't worth your mental energy.

Move on. Go back to the bar alone and show them you DGAF. Or go somewhere completely different. The choice is yours. But the main thing is not let things bug you that don't matter. This qualifies.

 

[Barrister]

This may work, to some extent, with some women, IF you are some kind of a celebrity or a person with an obvious/established high status. It's not going to work for some average dude who meets a girl at a bar and she then goes on an app and finds out that other women have described him as an abuser, manipulator, etc. I just don't see it. Most women are sheep. If they see another woman badmouthing a guy, they are not going to give him the benefit of the doubt. OP's "Exhibit C" is proof of that fact.

Most women aren't using this app. His reputation is going to be more "this guy gets around and likes sleeping with a lot of women, be careful with him" type thing. That actually gets most women turned on. Why give these women power by actually taking action here? Chances are he could interact with another 50 women at this same bar who will have zero clue about this comment on this app. Not even worth worrying over IMO.

This legal process would be 6-8 months at a minimum. The amount of time and money taken to get it down and determine the identity of the crazy lady isn't worth the emotional or financial investment in the process.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Most women aren't using this app.

Wait, I thought this whole threat was mostly about the app?

 

[Divorced w 3]

OP - I understand 100% why you don't like the comments that have been made on this app. To be honest, it is a fairly obscure app that I doubt many women are using. I am going to go against the grain and say to not even bother messing with it.

Some woman wrote down you are a molester? Give me a break. Anyone, man or woman, with half a brain is going to know that is almost certainly a load of BS and is being made by either someone psychotic or someone with an axe to grind. It flat out isn't worth your mental energy.

Move on. Go back to the bar alone and show them you DGAF. Or go somewhere completely different. The choice is yours. But the main thing is not let things bug you that don't matter. This qualifies.

Leaving allegations of sexual misconduct in any area is horrible advice, especially in today’s day and age.

He needs to have it taken down and to some degree if needed, counter the narrative, which can be done by simply continuing on his business, ignoring this woman moving ahead, and maybe not continuously being a loner which admittedly if his regular MO is a really bad look.

 

[Solomon]

Most women aren't using this app. His reputation is going to be more "this guy gets around and likes sleeping with a lot of women, be careful with him" type thing. That actually gets most women turned on. Why give these women power by actually taking action here? Chances are he could interact with another 50 women at this same bar who will have zero clue about this comment on this app. Not even worth worrying over IMO.

This legal process would be 6-8 months at a minimum. The amount of time and money taken to get it down and determine the identity of the crazy lady isn't worth the emotional or financial investment in the process.

I totally agree that most women aren't using the Tea app however, most women at one point or another have heard of the facebook group AWDTSG. I live in a mid-size town and there are over 110K women who use it, it's a lot of women. But a lot of these women are smashing the same few handsome guys, bummy guys etc. Word travels fast and can ruin your rep whether true or not

Personally, any woman using one of these groups is a red flag none of the women I met where quality women or at least girlfriend material. As a lot of these women were super toxic thus it makes sense they spend hours on end browsing the group cause it's low vibrational gossip fodder for miserable hoes

Wait, I thought this whole threat was mostly about the app?

See the comment above

 

[Barrister]

Leaving allegations of sexual misconduct in any area is horrible advice, especially in today’s day and age.

He needs to have it taken down and to some degree if needed, counter the narrative, which can be done by simply continuing on his business, ignoring this woman moving ahead, and maybe not continuously being a loner which admittedly if his regular MO is a really bad look.

What is the allegation of "sexual misconduct"? From reading his OP, this is more your typical spurned woman-speak of "he is manipulative, he sleeps with lots of women, he is a "predator" that goes after girls 10 years younger than him, etc." I didn't read any actual allegation of sexual misconduct in anything he typed except he later stated the "big one" was this rambling nonsense about him using red pill principles to prey on women and eventually became "physically abusive" with an ex. I can assure you this has zero sway in any type of legal proceeding whatsoever if this is the concern about leaving it up somewhere.

You can disagree. If it was me, I am moving on and not even messing with such silliness if it's me.

 

[Divorced w 3]

What is the allegation of "sexual misconduct"?

his claims multiple times here

 

[Bokanovsky]

What is the allegation of "sexual misconduct"? From reading his OP, this is more your typical spurned woman-speak of "he is manipulative, he sleeps with lots of women, he is a "predator" that goes after girls 10 years younger than him, etc."

Did you read this update?

Says I live at home, have the temper of a teenager, and my hobbies include drinking, working out, sex, video gaming, and gaslighting. I use red pill toxic psychology to sleep with women, then become psychologically abusive, and even physically abusive, with at least 1 other ex.

But hey, "all press is good press", right?

 

[Divorced w 3]

Did you read this update?

But hey, "all press is good press", right?

Honestly, he sounds pretty bad ass, but it still needs to come down

 

[handle]

You're 30-something and you're frequenting a bar full of college students, actively trying to pick up. Of course you'll eventually be labelled as "that weird 30 year old guy." I'm not judging you for it necessarily, but you have to expect that this will come up... And you have to expect a certain emotional volatility and immaturity from girls in their early 20s... And this being 2025, for that to be amplified by social media, smartphones, apps, etc. If you don't want to contend with that then you need to be in a different scene.

 

[Barrister]

Did you read this update?

But hey, "all press is good press", right?

I guess I’m used to hearing this kind of thing all the time doing what I do. It usually grades out as the BS it is. This is no different. Some nebulous story about him being “physically abusive“ is nothing to waste that much time and energy on. Especially on some random app.

On the other hand, if OP wants to drop time and money, which will probably equal at least thousands of dollars into some type of pre-suit defamation letter and subsequent proceedings, he can certainly do that. If it was me, I’d simply move on.