I live with my parents in suburban Delaware, but still get laid a lot - Ask Me Anything

[Doctor Europeo]

@Dr.Suave uave lol. This is your God? Is this the leader of the forum? Gtfo.

God knows Im no leader. Im just a Doctor and a digital janitor.

You are in violation of multiple forum rules. This a friendly warning. Have a nice day

 

[CornbreadFed]

Believe me, no sane man gonna let a quality woman walk if she adds actual value .

I completely agree with you. I find it really hard to believe that a guy will pump and dump a compliant hot girl acting in her feminine. Even Hypergamous women know when to slow down when Mr. Tall, Dark, Handsome, Edgy, and versatile comes around.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I don't think that's fair to say that it is nothing. Most 30 year old men are nowhere near 100 women.



Very good!



Making the case on quality is possible. There's some subjectivity there.

I think I’ve said this before, but a lot of the ongoing debates come down to how people define “success.” For some, it’s about having sex, for others it’s getting with a woman under 25, entering a relationship with a high-quality woman, having multiple lovers, etc.

The process of achieving that “success” also varies. Some believe you should become so high-value that women chase and do all the work. Others think it’s more about putting your name in as many hats as possible until you find a woman with high interest. Then there's the social circle approach, and so on.

Since we’re on SoSuave, I think success will almost always be tied to sex, but how much it should be is really up to the individual.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I completely agree with you. I find it really hard to believe that a guy will pump and dump a compliant hot girl acting in her feminine. Even Hypergamous women know when to slow down when Mr. Tall, Dark, Handsome, Edgy, and versatile comes around.

From what I gathered BPH's women scatter due to lack of commitment or inattention.

 

[Plinco]

 

[BPH]

I completely agree with you. I find it really hard to believe that a guy will pump and dump a compliant hot girl acting in her feminine. Even Hypergamous women know when to slow down when Mr. Tall, Dark, Handsome, Edgy, and versatile comes around.

From what I gathered BPH's women scatter due to lack of commitment or inattention.

Pretty much this, moreso due to lack of commitment than to inattention.

As I've said before, I'll generally want to continue seeing the women I sleep with. Most often, those relationships will end when she becomes antsy about the fact that I'm unwilling to be exclusive with her - what varies is how long it takes to get to that point.

As I've also said before, I'm not out here looking for a wife or a girlfriend. I'm just having fun because I enjoy the novelty of regularly experiencing new women.

Plus, if my goal is to save money, build a business, and get out of my parents' place, a relationship will get in the way of that. There's supposedly a recent study by LendingTree making rounds that men in relationships spend, on average, somewhere between $5,000 and $15,000 more per year on things like dates, vacations, gifts, special occasions, etc.

Now, I could find plenty of sources REFERENCING this study, but I could not find the study itself, so take it with a grain of salt.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Yes it's a person journal. Watch how I go to the top. If you REALLY followed me you'd know I'm consistently climbing up. Came from zero and doing it all by myself. No hand outs no help..just 7 days grind 12 hours a day at least
And haters are a part of becoming " that guy " so thank you.

I recommend you re-read the OP and see how ridiculous this is lol. Show me where on the forum it said that field reports are mandatory?

And I won't repeat my stance on field reports. I got field reports for DAYS lol.

By the way you ain't all that neither. You're a blue pilled beta bytch with anger issues . A bitter man that's " here to learn", yet you picking the wrong teacher you fool.

I geuss you got a bromance with OP and that's fine. Yet I will keep voicing my opinion. You like this kinda bs? Cool. I don't

I don't respect a man living like a teenager, period.

And yes I'm definitely helping. I make OP think twice about his life. He'll thank me eventually
I ain't sugar coating shyte. It's sink or swim. Those are the words that men REALLY need nowadays in this p00sy-fied era.

you’re the one getting hammered coming on here to post about how ‘life is finally breaking your way’ and you’re posting about desperate decisions chasing women, the only example of yours I can recall recently of you and the opposite sex

You’re not helping / making anyone examine their own lives, or currying any sympathy for yours either

lastly, you can’t help making this thread about you, it’s not about me either, but if you make me go find the posts I just referencing I will , because nobody here should ever be under the impression that you’re someone whom they should follow to improve themselves

just take the L, and shut the fvck up

 

[SW15]

lack of commitment than to inattention.

Without commitment, sex with any woman tends to disappear in a shorter time frame. Sexual arrangements between men and women without an exclusive commitment tend to fall apart in less than 12 months. Often times, it is less than 6 months.

Since we’re on SoSuave, I think success will almost always be tied to sex

Agree

The process of achieving that “success” also varies. Some believe you should become so high-value that women chase and do all the work. Others think it’s more about putting your name in as many hats as possible until you find a woman with high interest. Then there's the social circle approach, and so on.

There are going to be process differences. I've not experienced women doing all the work. That must mean I'm not high value enough.

I think social circle introductions represent the easiest way to get girlfriends without grief and frustration. However, a lot of those boyfriend-girlfriend relationships will decay in time (but usually more time than a commitment less arrangement). Some men have been known to use the social circle for repeated girlfriends, but that's a well that can't be drawn from too often.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Plus, if my goal is to save money, build a business, and get out of my parents' place, a relationship will get in the way of that. There's supposedly a recent study by LendingTree making rounds that men in relationships spend, on average, somewhere between $5,000 and $15,000 more per year on things like dates, vacations, gifts, special occasions, etc.

Now, I could find plenty of sources REFERENCING this study, but I could not find the study itself, so take it with a grain of salt.

Idk who LendingTree is interviewing, but I do not have to deal with any of those. If your goal is to succeed in business then a healthy LTR is better off in the long run from my personal experience. Coming from a guy that was doing what you were doing a few years ago, I can tell you that dating around/spinning plates is much more expensive and time consuming than just dealing with one girl. All that time you spend on maintaining an uber attractive body, gaming the field, and plate management can be spent on your business alone. In addition, you no longer need to worry about sex because it is always there now. For men in general, you either drop women altogether and focus on growing your business or you settle for Connor McGregor type LTR that benefits you building. Since you are a dating coach, you shouldn't have to drop women altogether because that's your job, but know that you might need to ease up a little.

That's just my two cents coming from a player that was scared of commitment to a longterm LTR lol.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Idk who LendingTree is interviewing, but I do not have to deal with any of those. If your goal is to succeed in business then a healthy LTR is better off in the long run from my personal experience. Coming from a guy that was doing what you were doing a few years ago, I can tell you that dating around/spinning plates is much more expensive and time consuming than just dealing with one girl. All that time you spend on maintaining an uber attractive body, gaming the field, and plate management can be spent on your business alone. In addition, you no longer need to worry about sex because it is always there now. For men in general, you either drop women altogether and focus on growing your business or you settle for Connor McGregor type LTR that benefits you building. Since you are a dating coach, you shouldn't have to drop women altogether because that's your job, but know that you might need to ease up a little.

That's just my two cents coming from a player that was scared of commitment to a longterm LTR lol.

I second that … the right relationship can be a growth maximizer

 

[BPH]

Coming from a guy that was doing what you were doing a few years ago, I can tell you that dating around/spinning plates is much more expensive and time consuming than just dealing with one girl. All that time you spend on maintaining an uber attractive body, gaming the field, and plate management can be spent on your business alone.

I don't think you're wrong, but I do STRONGLY disagree with these points.

First of all, in reference to maintaining my health and fitness, that's something I'm going to do anyway, no matter what. I know exactly what I'm going to eat, when I'm going to eat it, how much I need to buy in bulk at the grocery store, when I'm going to the gym, which exercises I'm going to do, how long I'll be there, and so on and so forth. I don't even have to think about it.

Second, if I were to REALLY break down how much time and money I spend on women I'm gaming the field with (especially if I'm comparing to times I've been in relationships), it is a massive difference...

Realistically, if I'm going out to meet women and don't already have something arranged with a plate, I can expect to spend somewhere around 3-4 hours of my night, and probably somewhere around $50 on drinks. I might spend a little more if I go somewhere further, like Philadelphia, in which case it would probably be closer to $75 before you factor in costs of things like parking at a garage ($30), and gas ($7, since I usually drive the Prius).

If I'm seeing a plate, I might just be going to her place for a few hours, in which case the only cost is gas. Right now, I have a plate up the street from me, so that's like 2 miles of driving. I have another in Philadelphia, so that's close to the $7 figure from above. And I have sorta another in Ocean City who wants to see me some more after that little fling during my vacation, which would be close to $15 in gas one-way, but that would be more of an entire weekend visit if I'm going to spend that much time on the road. If I'm going out and grabbing drinks or something with the girl first, then the time and money investment would probably be closer to the numbers above.

Now...the relationships I've been in have been significantly more draining in both the time and money departments...

My first serious girlfriend was the one who cheated on me while going to school up in NY. In addition to being a 4-hour drive, each way, any time I would visit, I was also spending probably about $100 or so on the dates we would go on, since they were usually dinner and some drinks. Thankfully, we didn't make it to Christmas, or that would've been another large expense, but her lying about being r*ped before finding out she cheated also left me depressed for a few months.

My 2nd serious girlfriend was also long-distance and had pretty much the same time and money expenses as listed above. She was about a 2-hour drive, but the added cost with her was time. Because we were at such a distance and would usually only see each other once a month for the weekend, she would FaceTime me every...single...night...We would talk about nothing, for hours, and I would want to relax after work and the gym, but she would get sad if I wasn't showing her enough attention.

My 3rd and most recent girlfriend was the incredibly toxic one that I'd detailed in here before. She lived the closest, about an hour away, and we would see each other every weekend, for the weekend. Each time we would go out somewhere, a bar, a club, dinner, etc. Every one of those outings was at least $100. In addition to the monetary cost of seeing her, there was also the emotional cost. This woman took me on a rollercoaster almost every weekend after the honeymoon phase wore off around Christmas time. She is responsible for single-handedly ruining Valentine's Day for me - it was the first time I made an effort for somebody, and that effort went out the window because I celebrated it with her the weekend before, since I would be working on the actual day, a Monday, leading to a temporary breakup over text...

So, you could say that I chose poorly with these relationships, and I would agree, to an extent. But alternatively, I could simply NOT pursue a relationship, and not have to worry about any of these things.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I don't think you're wrong, but I do STRONGLY disagree with these points.

First of all, in reference to maintaining my health and fitness, that's something I'm going to do anyway, no matter what. I know exactly what I'm going to eat, when I'm going to eat it, how much I need to buy in bulk at the grocery store, when I'm going to the gym, which exercises I'm going to do, how long I'll be there, and so on and so forth. I don't even have to think about it.

Second, if I were to REALLY break down how much time and money I spend on women I'm gaming the field with (especially if I'm comparing to times I've been in relationships), it is a massive difference...

Realistically, if I'm going out to meet women and don't already have something arranged with a plate, I can expect to spend somewhere around 3-4 hours of my night, and probably somewhere around $50 on drinks. I might spend a little more if I go somewhere further, like Philadelphia, in which case it would probably be closer to $75 before you factor in costs of things like parking at a garage ($30), and gas ($7, since I usually drive the Prius).

If I'm seeing a plate, I might just be going to her place for a few hours, in which case the only cost is gas. Right now, I have a plate up the street from me, so that's like 2 miles of driving. I have another in Philadelphia, so that's close to the $7 figure from above. And I have sorta another in Ocean City who wants to see me some more after that little fling during my vacation, which would be close to $15 in gas one-way, but that would be more of an entire weekend visit if I'm going to spend that much time on the road. If I'm going out and grabbing drinks or something with the girl first, then the time and money investment would probably be closer to the numbers above.

Now...the relationships I've been in have been significantly more draining in both the time and money departments...

My first serious girlfriend was the one who cheated on me while going to school up in NY. In addition to being a 4-hour drive, each way, any time I would visit, I was also spending probably about $100 or so on the dates we would go on, since they were usually dinner and some drinks. Thankfully, we didn't make it to Christmas, or that would've been another large expense, but her lying about being r*ped before finding out she cheated also left me depressed for a few months.

My 2nd serious girlfriend was also long-distance and had pretty much the same time and money expenses as listed above. She was about a 2-hour drive, but the added cost with her was time. Because we were at such a distance and would usually only see each other once a month for the weekend, she would FaceTime me every...single...night...We would talk about nothing, for hours, and I would want to relax after work and the gym, but she would get sad if I wasn't showing her enough attention.

My 3rd and most recent girlfriend was the incredibly toxic one that I'd detailed in here before. She lived the closest, about an hour away, and we would see each other every weekend, for the weekend. Each time we would go out somewhere, a bar, a club, dinner, etc. Every one of those outings was at least $100. In addition to the monetary cost of seeing her, there was also the emotional cost. This woman took me on a rollercoaster almost every weekend after the honeymoon phase wore off around Christmas time. She is responsible for single-handedly ruining Valentine's Day for me - it was the first time I made an effort for somebody, and that effort went out the window because I celebrated it with her the weekend before, since I would be working on the actual day, a Monday, leading to a temporary breakup over text...

So, you could say that I chose poorly with these relationships, and I would agree, to an extent. But alternatively, I could simply NOT pursue a relationship, and not have to worry about any of these things.

You could - but I think the best way, the most advocated way, is get your own place, your own money saved up, your self esteem right, and then you won’t put up with bad behavior nearly as much.

I dealt with impostor syndrome for a bit, how do you think I found this place, 38 years old divorced with three kids - it worked out great but it’s largely due to this place which is why I am so incensed about how some things have been going lately

 

[CornbreadFed]

First of all, in reference to maintaining my health and fitness, that's something I'm going to do anyway, no matter what. I know exactly what I'm going to eat, when I'm going to eat it, how much I need to buy in bulk at the grocery store, when I'm going to the gym, which exercises I'm going to do, how long I'll be there, and so on and so forth. I don't even have to think about it.

I agree, I am not saying to let yourself go, but there's a huge difference between maintaining a competitive <12% BF or whatever optimal muscle range vs staying in between 13%-20% bf. You will be in decent shape, have more flexibility and freedom, and still look good enough for your partner. When I was single, I was 10% BF with abs and that was a constant pain to maintain lol.

Second, if I were to REALLY break down how much time and money I spend on women I'm gaming the field with (especially if I'm comparing to times I've been in relationships), it is a massive difference...

Realistically, if I'm going out to meet women and don't already have something arranged with a plate, I can expect to spend somewhere around 3-4 hours of my night, and probably somewhere around $50 on drinks. I might spend a little more if I go somewhere further, like Philadelphia, in which case it would probably be closer to $75 before you factor in costs of things like parking at a garage ($30), and gas ($7, since I usually drive the Prius).

I think the >=$100 per date rule is valid in today's world and it seems like you are pretty much there. That's a lot of time and money to be spent on disposable pleasure. I have to spend 3-4 hours of my day on business and keeping in shape alone. In addition, I have had to limit my alcohol and increase my sleeping hours because those bad habits affect me more as I get older. If you are out gaming women at bars/clubs then that will take a huge toll on your mental energy and limit your productivity greatly.

Now...the relationships I've been in have been significantly more draining in both the time and money departments...

I fully agree that a toxic relationship is worse than being single because I have been there buddy too haha. However, if you learn to qualify women, become genuinely confident, understand that there will be paint, and truly love yourself then you will get out of the toxic relationship entrapment. Eventually, your business will pick up and this stuff will just naturally start applying to you.

 

[Gamisch]

you’re the one getting hammered coming on here to post about how ‘life is finally breaking your way’ and you’re posting about desperate decisions chasing women, the only example of yours I can recall recently of you and the opposite sex

You’re not helping / making anyone examine their own lives, or currying any sympathy for yours either

lastly, you can’t help making this thread about you, it’s not about me either, but if you make me go find the posts I just referencing I will , because nobody here should ever be under the impression that you’re someone whom they should follow to improve themselves

just take the L, and shut the fvck up

you’re the one getting hammered coming on here to post about how ‘life is finally breaking your way’ and you’re posting about desperate decisions chasing women, the only example of yours I can recall recently of you and the opposite sex

You’re not helping / making anyone examine their own lives, or currying any sympathy for yours either

lastly, you can’t help making this thread about you, it’s not about me either, but if you make me go find the posts I just referencing I will , because nobody here should ever be under the impression that you’re someone whom they should follow to improve themselves

just take the L, and shut the fvck up

It takes a real bitter man to not be able to salute a man who's winning in life...

I got life lessons for days for those who wanna fo from zero to great heights. Call it nothing..

And what L lol. Because I don't participate in your pathetic circle jerk?

Coming from the most bitter and depressed member on sosauve so it doesn't mean much. I can only imagine what it must be like for a woman to be around you. A man with zero self control. Hence why they keep leaving you.

I'm doing better than ever bro. Must be disheartening to you somehow. Looks like you paid that 100 bucks , would fit your profile. A pathetic gullible man . Eversince you joined the forum you post L after L. You're quite forgettable but I do recall you falling in love with 304 after 304. All while having 3 kids. Go be a father instead of supporting teenage boys.

I'm too tired for this bs. Just worked another 14 hours, went looking for another big job and confirmed it and got my D sucked to end the day .

Let's just leave it here. OP doesn't need your angry tantrums to defend him. And don't get it twisted . Irl you wouldn't talk like this....

Your just another keyboard warrior. A funny one at that. Let's leave it at this. I will respond to whatever thread or post I feel like. Have a good night.

 

[Gamisch]

God knows Im no leader. Im just a Doctor and a digital janitor.

You are in violation of multiple forum rules. This a friendly warning. Have a nice day

Its was a question if OP was your God/ leader.

But I'll watch my step going forward. No problem

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I like my popcorn extra salty.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I like my popcorn extra salty.

“It’s better to be envied than being envious” - popular Latin American saying.

 

[Divorced w 3]

It takes a real bitter man to not be able to salute a man who's winning in life...

I got life lessons for days for those who wanna fo from zero to great heights. Call it nothing..

And what L lol. Because I don't participate in your pathetic circle jerk?

Coming from the most bitter and depressed member on sosauve so it doesn't mean much. I can only imagine what it must be like for a woman to be around you. A man with zero self control. Hence why they keep leaving you.

I'm doing better than ever bro. Must be disheartening to you somehow. Looks like you paid that 100 bucks , would fit your profile. A pathetic gullible man . Eversince you joined the forum you post L after L. You're quite forgettable but I do recall you falling in love with 304 after 304. All while having 3 kids. Go be a father instead of supporting teenage boys.

I'm too tired for this bs. Just worked another 14 hours, went looking for another big job and confirmed it and got my D sucked to end the day .

Let's just leave it here. OP doesn't need your angry tantrums to defend him. And don't get it twisted . Irl you wouldn't talk like this....

Your just another keyboard warrior. A funny one at that. Let's leave it at this. I will respond to whatever thread or post I feel like. Have a good night.

lol, you want a medal because you went to work today? Only a real loser or a mental case would crow about getting up and getting another day of work in. You schizophrenic?

whatever respect you thought you had you totally evaporated- just save your dignity and stop posting

 

[BillyPilgrim]

“It’s better to be envied than being envious” - popular Latin American saying.

Gotta love Catholics excusing away the 7 deadly sins lmao

I suppose it's better to murder than be murdered too lolz

 

[BeExcellent]

It sounds like you're hoping for me to give an answer that could be applied by most men today, rather than the REAL answer.

The real answer is that a man is not going to be able to create interest out of thin air if there is none.

If I approach a woman and she shuts me down and rejects me, there's really nothing I can do to change her mind and "force" her to be attracted to me. There is no cheat code or secret phrase that's going to miraculously turn this woman on. There is no up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start.

There are plenty of social experiments on YouTube that showcase this through dating apps. They'll take pictures of a model, create a fake account, write a bio detailing that they've just been released from prison for murder (or something equally heinous), and their opening message will be "wanna fu**?" and the response they receive is a phone number.

That's an extreme example, but you get the idea.

If the average man wants more women to be interested in him, he either becomes above-average or continues searching for women who are content with him being average.

The business I'm building around this focuses on genuine self-improvement, where success with dating becomes the byproduct of that improvement. Becoming a more attractive version of yourself so that more women will be interested, and THEN learning how to identify and capitalize on that interest.

I can tell a man exactly what to say, do, text, etc. But it will not make him a better prospect once that crutch goes away.

That's why it's all about self-improvement, and exactly why so many men struggle to achieve this level of success regarding seduction - because it IS hard.

The REAL answer is what is sorely sorely needed. The trouble is partly too that life is hard. You cannot always get what you want. But you can find something meaningful, suitable, apealing etc. Its not settling. Its reality.

Every man here would love to marry a beautiful sexy Sports Illustrated swimsuit model who happens to be sweet, smart, family oriented and feminine right?

Harry Connick Jr. pulled this off. Jill Goodacre and he have been married 30+ years and have a family. Randy Gerber pulled it off too....married Cindy Crawford. Gene Simmons did it....etc.

But most men are not Harry Connick Jr., Randy Gerber or Gene Simmons.

But there ARE women who will give a man high interest. If you don't like who is drawn to you? There are things you can do to increase your appeal, but, like most opportunities they show ii dressed like work.

It takes commitment and effort to improve yourself. Period. Some will progress faster than others, some got greater luck in the looks lottery, it is what it is.

Nobody has totally universal appeal. Choose from the people who are choosing you. I learned this bit of wisdom from my family. This philosophy will save you a ton of time and emotional expenditure. Stop focusing on women who are not interested. That will save you a ton of time.

If you do not like the women who are interested in you? You have two choices....

1. Accept reality

2. Improve what you can to widen your appeal.

The only person you can control is you. You cannot control anyone else.