I live with my parents in suburban Delaware, but still get laid a lot - Ask Me Anything

[BPH]

I figure there's a 50/50 chance this ends up being a good idea

The forum seems a little unhappy at the moment, with a lot of complaints about too much theory, not enough real-world experience. It's a slow, quiet day at work, so I want to see what YOU want to know more about.

Whether you have a question about game or women in general, questions about me personally, or just want to know whether I liked the newest Jurassic World movie (it was meh). I'll do my best to answer everything as honestly and thoroughly as I can.

I've got several hours to kill here, so ask away. If there are any lurkers, feel free to make an account even if only to message me privately. I know there are some people who haven't become members because they don't feel they have enough experience to contribute, but I'd be happy to answer those questions as well.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Why won’t you just take them back to your place?

 

[BPH]

Why won’t you just take them back to your place?

Sometimes I do, but those were almost always plates or girlfriends. I can only think of 1 girl whom I brought home the first time I slept with her, and it was late at night when my parents were asleep.

The way my house and room are laid out is not ideal...

My room is along the same hallway as my parents' room, even if it's across from it. The basement, or my dad's old office, would be more ideal, but my parents are minor hoarders and they're extremely messy.

Beyond that, my dad is an artist...so every room in the house has a theme; mine is that of a circus. It was kinda cool as a kid, but as an adult, it definitely doesn't scream "bachelor pad".

 

[CornbreadFed]

How do you not get tired of your situation? I can barely last 3 hours at my parents house lol. I chose to live in a trap house next to a university than move back in with my parents when I was going through a tight period.

 

[characternote]

i got laid when I lived with my parents too. My parents didn't care. And the girls certainly didn't care (I tended to go for very young girls which probably helped, plus, in the heat of the moment, it was just never an issue)

 

[Tilex]

When you use online dating, what's the maximum distance in miles do you use for your search filter?

When I lived in DC, I used 50 miles.
When I lived in Baltimore, I used 15 miles.

 

[BPH]

How do you not get tired of your situation? I can barely last 3 hours at my parents house lol. I chose to live in a trap house next to a university than move back in with my parents when I was going through a tight period.

I definitely do. I miss how clean and organized my spaces are and how I knew where everything was, and nothing ever got lost.

The issue at hand is that I can afford to move out, but I can't afford to move where I want. Like I'd want to move to Philly, Florida, or Arizona ideally. But if I make that move, I'd lose my job, because while I CAN do my job remotely, my employer wants me physically in the office - so I may still give him that ultimatum at some point when I have more confidence in a fallback option. The job market is also very sh**, as it took my brother more than a year to find work that would pay him enough to continue living in NYC, and he almost had to move back home with me - he even fell victim to a LinkedIn scam that cost him a few thousand dollars by a phony business with fake recruiters.

I could move out to somewhere nearby, but then I'd be paying $1,000+ per month just to not live with my parents. So I'm saving money to be able to move out and STAY OUT this time.

Definitely not ideal, I don't love it, but that's why I'm working on the dating coaching side of things, so I can freely move around wherever I want.

 

[BPH]

When you use online dating, what's the maximum distance in miles do you use for your search filter?

I have all 3 (Tinder, Bumble, Hinge) set to 30 miles. That'll usually get me some girls in Philadelphia, which is about an hour drive, and I'd be willing to make that, on occasion.

Anything closer and I'm not finding enough attractive women to swipe on (especially with college on summer break right now). Anything further, and my drives become 90+ minutes.

There are some other apps like 3Fun, Feeld, and The League, but I never found those to be worthwhile. The League has hot girls, but there are so few in my area that I keep seeing the same ones. Meanwhile, 3Fun and Feeld are more kink-friendly and have a..."weird" variety of people on them. My brother enjoys those 2 apps up in NYC, but I'm much more limited in Delaware.

 

[SW15]

The job market is also very sh**

It is a bad job market, but it is better for manual laborers and blue collar types. Anyone who is white collar is having the worst experience right now in the job market.

my parents are minor hoarders and they're extremely messy.

Beyond that, my dad is an artist...so every room in the house has a theme; mine is that of a circus. It was kinda cool as a kid, but as an adult, it definitely doesn't scream "bachelor pad".

The issue at hand is that I can afford to move out, but I can't afford to move where I want.

I would have difficulty living with a parent or parents at my age.

Your parents might be cool parents in terms of attitudes but the housing can turn off women.

I would live with similarly age roommates over this issue. You have had sexual success despite this limitation and that's a testament to your looks + personality.

i got laid when I lived with my parents too. My parents didn't care. And the girls certainly didn't care (I tended to go for very young girls which probably helped, plus, in the heat of the moment, it was just never an issue)

With some parents, that could be an issue. Some parents might raise objections to their adult sons having sex in their homes. This was even explored with older generations in the 1990s in a Seinfeld episode. George Costanza was around 40 years old and unemployed during this time.

 

[characternote]

With some parents, that could be an issue. Some parents might raise objections to their adult sons having sex in their homes. This was even explored with older generations in the 1990s in a Seinfeld episode. George Costanza was around 40 years old and unemployed during this time.

My setup was ideal, tbf. My parents are super cool. If anything they almost encouraged it lol. Dad thought it was funny, and mum used to always say 'she was pretty! are you gonna make her a girlfriend finally?!' lol (assuming she was awake when the girl would leave in the morning)

They also had a sick outside hot tub and lived in a big house with acres of land. The opposite of 'being on each others toes' kinda thing. Kind of never felt the need to move out, to be quite honest. Was no real advantage for me. Just meant having way less money. I done it anyway in the end, but yeah. No point lol

My super slayer wingman who i've mentioned many times (even better looking than the OP and would obliterate him and just about anyone else out in the field!) used to get girls back more or less on my behalf. It was just so easy for him because hot girls would approach him, on average, about 6 times per night. Throw themselves at him. No 'game' required. At some point during them trying to seduce him, he'd always say 'fancy a swim?!' to her (didn't even make sense lol. You can't swim in a hot tub!) - So most weekends there'd be me, him and 2 hot girls in the outside hot tub as music played on the outside speakers. Quite loud. They both wanted him of course, but on a decent enough amount of time, after getting them nicely drunk in the hot tub and keeping the good vibes going, i'd be able to bang whichever one he didn't pick! lol

obviously I also got a fair few girls back on nights he wasn't out too. Just required some SERIOUS numbers game lol. Still does!! more in fact!

 

[Clockwerk50]

The circus theme makes me lol

Have you ever seen or heard your parents have sex?

 

[BPH]

The circus theme makes me lol

Have you ever seen or heard your parents have sex?

There's a reason I blur the background in my Zoom calls haha, it's a lot...

And no, I have never once in my life seen or heard my parents having sex. I am also very thankful for that fact.

 

[Bokanovsky]

At what age do you plan to move out, if at all?

 

[BPH]

At what age do you plan to move out, if at all?

31.

I think it has to happen sooner rather than later, even if it wouldn't be the most ideal. Even if I move somewhere close to Newark, so I at least have my own place for the college girls, that would be a good start if FL, AZ, or Philly are out of reach, insofar as it would likely cost me my job. My parents would really love it if my brother and I got a place together, since neither one of us is happy with our living situation. If he were still unemployed, that would probably be a good option, but I think he's too comfortable now that he's found a new job.

I'm still recouping my losses from my lawn care business and have sold everything except the truck. Once that sells for around $8,000 (hopefully, since that's what I have it listed for to start with), I'll have a pretty decent chunk of change sitting in my bank account.

My parents are also planning to take out some of the money they have saved up for each of their children (myself, my brother, my sister) to help us out. I disagree with this idea, but they're doing it anyway, so I would use that money to fully pay off my student loan and be completely debt-free.

Once both those things happen, I would have a lot more confidence in being able to move out and stay out this time.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I'm still recouping my losses from my lawn care business

What went wrong?

 

[BPH]

What went wrong?

I was spending a lot of money maintaining equipment while spending an equal amount of money to acquire very cheap customers. I was also a little late to the party, and most people already had a lawn care service they'd been using for years, did it themselves, or went with cheaper options. I was hemorrhaging money, getting sunburnt, and wasting a lot of time talking to people who only wanted their grass cut once - I even had a guy who saw my offer (1 free month once you've been with us for 12) and thought he could claim the free month up-front and use me as an instructional service for his son to learn to cut the grass, meaning he would no longer need me after that free month.

I got tired of this, and I wasn't good at it. I'm more of a technical guy than a handyman type. I only got into it because I had been following a guy on another business/entrepreneurship forum who was making a lot of money by offering this same service. He recently offered mentorship, and I figured that I could just do what he told me to do, and that could get me to a point where I'd be making enough money, where I'd get some room to breathe, and could leave my job.

The problem is that he dropped me after about 4 months. He got tired of my inexperience and having to constantly answer my questions. I put myself in a deep financial hole because he wanted me to get things done FAST, and I couldn't afford to make a bad investment (like I did with my truck, which I had to take to several mechanics to solve a power issue before I could start selling it).

So I decided to stop bleeding money and trying to force the business to work, and shifted to selling/returning equipment, closing subscriptions, and walking away from it.

This led me to my current foray into dating coaching, and while it's going slow, I'm having a great time. It's something I actually like doing, am very good at, with a business model that is extremely mobile. I think that's where I'd been going wrong - getting into a business because something seems like a good idea and because I believed I could learn enough to be "good enough" at it. The funny part is that it's already made me more money than the lawn care business ever had.

 

[SW15]

I have never once in my life seen or heard my parents having sex. I am also very thankful for that fact.

That's always good.

The funny part is that it's already made me more money than the lawn care business ever had.

Most people would think that seduction coaching would generate less revenue than lawn care.

I'm still recouping my losses from my lawn care business and have sold everything except the truck. Once that sells for around $8,000 (hopefully, since that's what I have it listed for to start with), I'll have a pretty decent chunk of change sitting in my bank account.

It stinks to lose money on a business like that.

I was also a little late to the party, and most people already had a lawn care service they'd been using for years, did it themselves, or went with cheaper options.

Delaware isn't a great option for that because there aren't a lot of transplants to Delaware.

If you were doing that in the North Dallas suburbs near the newer developments, it might have been better for revenue because there are so many new homeowners transplanted from other states or even first time homebuyers who met in Dallas and moved to the suburbs.

 

[Divorced w 3]

What are the top 5 most important things in a seduction / top 10?

 

[BPH]

What are the top 5 most important things in a seduction / top 10?

This is a great question, and I wanted to give it some real thought before I delivered an answer:

1. Go to the Gym - Easily number 1. I gave a more elaborate reason as to why in this thread, but I'll try to simplify it here. Looks matter, plain and simple. And the best way to become better-looking is by getting in better shape. You become more attractive to women, more respected by women, and develop more confidence in yourself. Today, we have 24-hour gyms, online personal trainers, and most machines have a QR code you can scan to see how it's used with a video sent to your phone. It has never been easier to get in shape; I see people with disabilities in my gym, I see amputees in my gym, there is no excuse somebody could give me as to why they aren't investing in their health, fitness, and as a byproduct, their appearance.
2. Develop genuine Confidence - I generally disagree with "fake it till you make it", but when it comes to seduction, I think it rings true. Being able to approach women you're interested in, flirt with them, and carry on a conversation is a skill very few men possess without the assistance of alcohol. The way I got there was by approaching women on the boardwalk at the beach with canned, corny pickup lines. Sometimes it worked, but most times it didn't. I got rejected so many times that I reached a point where I stopped fearing it, and that's what really allowed me to relax and have fun meeting these women; the realization that if things don't go well with this woman, you can always meet another.
3. Lead and Escalate - I've been spending a lot of time lately on dating-related subreddits, offering advice to people who ask questions about their dating lives. There are a ton of guys who will say something along the lines of "we went on 2 great dates and had an amazing time and great chemistry, but now she's going cold, why?" The first question I'll ask is whether they f***ed, or even kissed, to which the answer is almost always "no". Modern men are becoming pus*ies because most of us live in a society where taking on a masculine role is seen as "toxic". Guys are offering their Snapchats instead of asking for a phone number. Guys are asking girls if they want to hang out, rather than planning the date. Guys are waiting until date 2, 3, 4+ to go for the kiss or try to have sex, because they feel they'd otherwise be moving too fast. Understanding that women want sex just as much as men is not common knowledge these days. I had a friend give me a great analogy: you never know how fast a car can take a turn - until it crashes. Meaning that you never know how far things could go with a woman until she stops you - because she might not.
4. Identify High vs Low Interest - The term "mixed signals" gets thrown around a lot. More often than not, the guy is being shown some attention and hopes that it's signs of interest, rather than accepting reality. An interested woman will stop whatever she's doing to talk to you. She'll hold eye contact, smile, ask your name, and engage in the conversation beyond answering your questions. She'll leave her friends for you. She'll text you back quickly, and sometimes with multiple messages. She'll accommodate your schedule. She'll be available for whatever date at whatever time. She'll break into a full-blown makeout with you and not care who sees. She'll take off her clothes in the bedroom before you even try to. An uninterested woman will be doing the OPPOSITE of what I've listed here. If you value your time, money, and effort, you will quickly identify which woman you're dealing with, so you can find the former if you're talking to the latter.
5. Be Honest - I used to wonder how I should answer questions that women would ask me, where I knew the answer might bother them. Questions about my body count, my age, and where I was living were the main ones. I've found, time and time again, that the best way to answer was always honestly. Frankly, I'm too lazy to lie - it's too hard to keep track of your stories, and if somebody has a problem with something I say, it's their problem, not mine. I used to be nervous when my exes would ask me my body count, and they ALL asked me. Yet each time I answered, it wasn't an issue. Sure, some were surprised, but it made sense because of how I carried myself and interacted with them. So I would always advise telling the truth. This does NOT mean I lead with that information - I'm not telling women on the first date that I live with my parents and have slept with over 100 women. But if I'm asked a question, I answer honestly, and they choose how they want to react to it.
6. NEVER Get Emotional - Not to be confused with "never show emotion". What I mean by this is that you should never give a woman such control over you that she's able to get an emotional reaction out of you. Be extremely unbothered, no matter the circumstance. You got rudely rejected by a girl in front of her friends? Cool, laugh it off, and go meet another woman. Your girlfriend of 4 years cheated on you with your best friend? Cool, at least you're not married - pack her things, break up with her, and go meet another woman. Getting emotional clouds your judgement and prevents you from thinking logically and practically. It shows the woman that she has the power to inject drama into your relationship, and the ability to make or ruin your day. Nobody should have that power over you, and that includes women.
7. Have Fun - None of this matters if you're not enjoying yourself. I got into this because I wanted to have the power to choose the women I wanted to be, rather than wait to be chosen. Sure, the process was rough, and the learning curve was massive, but I love doing this. I love experiencing different women, and the novelty of meeting someone new and exciting. Allow yourselves the grace to fail, and enjoy the process. I still remember an approach I did back when I was in high school with my friend, where I went up to a girl at this fair and asked her name. It was loud, so I couldn't hear her the first time, and I asked again, to which she replied, "it doesn't matter", and walked away. My friend witnessed this, and we both laughed about how hard I was shut down for a solid 20 minutes or so. That memory is almost 15 years old, and I remember that over the names of some of the women I didn't get rejected by.

Originally, I wanted to only list 5 things, because I thought 10 would be trying to come up with too much filler, but I kinda just kept going until I got the most important bits out in the open.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I told girls I just lost my apartment to an owner occupied move in. I lived with my parents. It was never an issue.