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I Just Can't Let Go of my Past

nicksaiz65

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This is like an inner game issue I've been having. I want to get rid of it, wanted some opinions.

I've finally gotten rid of my victim mentality. Everything that happens to me is my own fault and it's my responsibility to fix it. I'm taking the steps to make my life right: getting grades, building a nice body, learning Game, chasing my dreams, lots of stuff. I'm seeing some results.

But I still have this nasty voice in my head: "God, you're so stupid. You should've known about this sh*t ages ago. Had you been on SoSuave since your freshman year of college, you would've had all this handled. You could've put all this stuff into 4 years instead of cramming it into 1, and success would've been easier."

I know it's my own fault for not taking action in the past. But how can I rid myself of these thoughts?

I know that my time is better spent fixing my life RIGHT NOW instead of whining about the past.

How do I fix that?
 

mrgoodstuff

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This is like an inner game issue I've been having. I want to get rid of it, wanted some opinions.

I've finally gotten rid of my victim mentality. Everything that happens to me is my own fault and it's my responsibility to fix it. I'm taking the steps to make my life right: getting grades, building a nice body, learning Game, chasing my dreams, lots of stuff. I'm seeing some results.

But I still have this nasty voice in my head: "God, you're so stupid. You should've known about this sh*t ages ago. Had you been on SoSuave since your freshman year of college, you would've had all this handled. You could've put all this stuff into 4 years instead of cramming it into 1, and success would've been easier."

I know it's my own fault for not taking action in the past. But how can I rid myself of these thoughts?

I know that my time is better spent fixing my life RIGHT NOW instead of whining about the past.

How do I fix that?
Set your goals and direction and focus on that. Make daily progress. Add new social and babes. In time your current position will be small in comparison to your life.
 

Poonani Maker

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This is like an inner game issue I've been having. I want to get rid of it, wanted some opinions.

I've finally gotten rid of my victim mentality. Everything that happens to me is my own fault and it's my responsibility to fix it. I'm taking the steps to make my life right: getting grades, building a nice body, learning Game, chasing my dreams, lots of stuff. I'm seeing some results.

But I still have this nasty voice in my head: "God, you're so stupid. You should've known about this sh*t ages ago. Had you been on SoSuave since your freshman year of college, you would've had all this handled. You could've put all this stuff into 4 years instead of cramming it into 1, and success would've been easier."

I know it's my own fault for not taking action in the past. But how can I rid myself of these thoughts?

I know that my time is better spent fixing my life RIGHT NOW instead of whining about the past.

How do I fix that?
Just HUSTLE man. Really that's all I did STARTING at 30 yrs old. You've got a 7 yr jump on me. You must balls-to-the-wall Hustle (or Sacrifice a better word, self-denial). Don't be like your peers. Relaxation is for when your old(er).
 

Serenity

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But I still have this nasty voice in my head: "God, you're so stupid. You should've known about this sh*t ages ago. Had you been on SoSuave since your freshman year of college, you would've had all this handled. You could've put all this stuff into 4 years instead of cramming it into 1, and success would've been easier."
You know that's like saying "God, you're so stupid. You should have known the lottery numbers, you'd be rich if only you played the right numbers". While true it is a useless thought.

You can't do sh!t about the past. The past doesn't give a sh!t about how you wish it were. Had you gone back in time and only had the limited knowledge you had at that time then you'd still do exactly the same dumb crap.

Even though you take responsibility for yourself and realize it was your own fault it doesn't mean you have to beat yourself up about it. You need to forgive your own ignorance. That doesn't mean you're not taking responsibility, being wise enough to know not to make the same mistake is what it means to take responsibility.

You don't need to punish yourself, the consequences of your poor choices already did. Forgive yourself, be grateful that you know better now and move on as a better man. Beating yourself up accomplishes nothing and hinders your growth, if you're serious about taking responsibility then you can't do sh!t like that.
 

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Xenom0rph

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I've finally gotten rid of my victim mentality.
Congratulations my friend, that's a major accomplishment because the victimhood mentality is addictive like a drug....

.....people cling to victimhood because they believe it absolves them of personal responsibility......

......for you to let go of it is a tremendous achievement and a good first step....the rest will sort itself out in time....
 

nicksaiz65

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Set your goals and direction and focus on that. Make daily progress. Add new social and babes. In time your current position will be small in comparison to your life.
AMS has a quote I like. It goes like "I'm about SOLUTIONS, not b*tching and crying. In the time that you spent whining and crying about your problem, you could've been working on solving it. What are you going to DO about it m0therfvcker?"
 

nicksaiz65

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You know that's like saying "God, you're so stupid. You should have known the lottery numbers, you'd be rich if only you played the right numbers". While true it is a useless thought.

You can't do sh!t about the past. The past doesn't give a sh!t about how you wish it were. Had you gone back in time and only had the limited knowledge you had at that time then you'd still do exactly the same dumb crap.

Even though you take responsibility for yourself and realize it was your own fault it doesn't mean you have to beat yourself up about it. You need to forgive your own ignorance. That doesn't mean you're not taking responsibility, being wise enough to know not to make the same mistake is what it means to take responsibility.

You don't need to punish yourself, the consequences of your poor choices already did. Forgive yourself, be grateful that you know better now and move on as a better man. Beating yourself up accomplishes nothing and hinders your growth, if you're serious about taking responsibility then you can't do sh!t like that.
I absolutely love this.
 

zekko

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I know it's my own fault for not taking action in the past. But how can I rid myself of these thoughts?
You need to police your own thoughts, don't accept the negativity. But you're young yet, and you're up and coming, you haven't even started your career yet. You haven't even come into your own frame yet. As long as you are growing in the right direction (and it sounds like you are), you should be fine. It's just a matter of time.
 

billtx49

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I know it's my own fault for not taking action in the past. But how can I rid myself of these thoughts?

I know that my time is better spent fixing my life RIGHT NOW instead of whining about the past.

How do I fix that?
Repeat after me OP.
My past is over and done, I can’t change it and won’t b|tch about it, I will accept it for what it was and do better in my present life, and given time my past will fade.

A man accepts his reality. That includes his past and present. Change your present, you change your future, and the past disappears.
 

nicksaiz65

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Thanks for all the input you guys. It makes me feel a lot better
 

thinker

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@nicksaiz65 you have to understand that in life you grow more from your failures than from your success as long as you can accept your failures and work to learn from them. These failures were part of your learning experiences and your journey towards being the man you want to be. Also think about this, you are doing better than a lot of guys out there. At your age I was doing worse than you,it took me until my 30s to really start to get my shiit together and now I look at the dumb **** I have done in the past and usually I smile because I can see that it was part of my growing experience towards being the man that I want to be. By the way the journey never stops, therefor you need to embrace it as the gift that it really is.
 

zekko

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you have to understand that in life you grow more from your failures than from your success as long as you can accept your failures and work to learn from them.
Good point. This is one reason that a person's youth tends to be a lot more rocky than later years. You shouldn't be miserable over your early failures, you should learn from them and be thankful. Like "Yeah, maybe I screwed up here, but I won't make that mistake ever again".
 

billtx49

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Good point. This is one reason that a person's youth tends to be a lot more rocky than later years. You shouldn't be miserable over your early failures, you should learn from them and be thankful. Like "Yeah, maybe I screwed up here, but I won't make that mistake ever again".
Yep, the memories of our past are like a reference book we always have with us to consult about what works (right) and what doesn’t (wrong). We should use it wisely…
 

GrowingPains

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“It took me 12 years to get a 4 year degree. But guess what, I got it.. and on a degree.. it don’t have dates. So if it took you 4 and it took me 12.. it don’t show up nowhere “

- E.T, How Bad Do You Want It
 

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stormrider

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This is exactly what I predicted @nicksaiz65 would go through in previous threads. And I probably got something to say about it, but he is adamant on defying wisdom from guys who already been through what he’s going through, so I’ll just sit back and watch him suffer through this “game” phase, lol.

Every single step of the way, I know exactly what’s going to happen. The wheel doesn’t get reinvented every single time a guy decides he wants to be some seducer.
 

stringpuller

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This is like an inner game issue I've been having. I want to get rid of it, wanted some opinions.

I've finally gotten rid of my victim mentality. Everything that happens to me is my own fault and it's my responsibility to fix it. I'm taking the steps to make my life right: getting grades, building a nice body, learning Game, chasing my dreams, lots of stuff. I'm seeing some results.

But I still have this nasty voice in my head: "God, you're so stupid. You should've known about this sh*t ages ago. Had you been on SoSuave since your freshman year of college, you would've had all this handled. You could've put all this stuff into 4 years instead of cramming it into 1, and success would've been easier."

I know it's my own fault for not taking action in the past. But how can I rid myself of these thoughts?

I know that my time is better spent fixing my life RIGHT NOW instead of whining about the past.

How do I fix that?
Nick
Get a book called The power of now.
Great read if you can take it for its info alone. Some say it has a "culty" feel but
I did not get that. It may help jar some things for you

It can help wake you up to some the mental cob webs that happen from the past and show you what they are. "Nothing" but thoughts.
 

GoodOne123

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Listen OP. That little voice in your head is being negative and unrealistic.

You could have found out about this stuff sooner, but there are many, if not most guys that never learn this stuff at all. Even when guys do learn about this stuff, a large chunk of those guys are older than you. So realistically, you have learnt this stuff relatively early and should be grateful.

Also other people's lives are on a different timeline to yours. Dont compare. Many of the guys you are comparing yourself to may not have had the setbacks that you have had to overcome. Focus on your own personal victories and constantly improve, youlle then see everything fall into place.
 

corrector

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This is like an inner game issue I've been having. I want to get rid of it, wanted some opinions.

I've finally gotten rid of my victim mentality. Everything that happens to me is my own fault and it's my responsibility to fix it. I'm taking the steps to make my life right: getting grades, building a nice body, learning Game, chasing my dreams, lots of stuff. I'm seeing some results.

But I still have this nasty voice in my head: "God, you're so stupid. You should've known about this sh*t ages ago. Had you been on SoSuave since your freshman year of college, you would've had all this handled. You could've put all this stuff into 4 years instead of cramming it into 1, and success would've been easier."

I know it's my own fault for not taking action in the past. But how can I rid myself of these thoughts?

I know that my time is better spent fixing my life RIGHT NOW instead of whining about the past.

How do I fix that?
All is well that ends well.
 

Papa_smu

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I've finally gotten rid of my victim mentality. Everything that happens to me is my own fault and it's my responsibility to fix it.
That's like telling a set, "I'm the king baby!" When that set isn't going to believe and already skeptical of you going out of your way to open them. Therefore, I don't think anyone on this forum is convinced you have conquered your insecurities or at least overcame it.

I'm taking the steps to make my life right: getting grades, building a nice body, learning Game, chasing my dreams, lots of stuff. I'm seeing some results.
This is my concern for you. You have set so many goals for yourself to accomplish in a short period of time. It's not bad if you have a long term plan already set, but that long term plan can't be 3 years or less.

If you focus on one or two goals that are meant to bring you up in an area where you are lacking within a reasonable amount of time, then I think 70% of your problems will be fixed.

I know it's my own fault for not taking action in the past. But how can I rid myself of these thoughts?
You don't. You'll be dealing with these types of thoughts for your entire lifetime. Even ultra successful people deal with these self-limiting thoughts though. The difference is that they pay more attention to self-encouraging thoughts than their negative ones. That takes a lot of effort and often times it's a stubborn amount of effort.
 
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