I Don't Fight Over Women

[Peaks&Valleys]

This is the entire thread in a nutshell:

A buncha dudes who never been invited by a girl to anything where her friends or another friend was present.. (lack of BASIC social dynamics)

x

Men who clearly think that beautiful women are just inherently evil and want attention and need orbiters as if they need any kind of validation-- Good lookin girls need 0 validation. Having friends is not a crime.

+ Alot of victim mentality.


Why do girls invite guys out to things where their friends are present?

1) Why does anyone invite anyone out to anything when they first meet someone and start talking? To get to know them in normal social circumstances. If I'm hanging out with some friends and I invite a girl over, I'm not doing it because I want her attention or I'm looking for validation from guys around me .. I do it because im hanging with my boys, and yet I also want to see her so I got something to poke later. Women arent inherently different.. YOu weirdos just spend too much time on the internet reading garbage content that further keeps you socially unaware.

2) A quality girl when she meets a guy, she's not going to just go straight to his house. And she certainly isnt going to set up the first date. She's going to wonder what he's like in person though but maybe she might not want to meet him just on her own as girls have had their fair share of uncomfortable situations.. She might want to just invite him out while shes already got plans with friends or casually hanging out with friends. This is exactly what she did. This also gives her a better idea / more perspectives and opinions on what her friends might think of you.

In the first instance, there were multiple friends.. It didn't bother OP then. The second time, there was only one friend, who happened to be a guy. THIS IS WHAT BOTHERED OP. I mean the OP even went as far as to ask the guy if he had anything with her (lol).. and he made it very clear that he did not.

At no point in this entire thread did the herd of victim mentality, club of socially inept, or the squad of beta males think for a second that MAYBE the OP just lacks social skills, or the fact that he didnt make any move at all, or think of inviting her on a date.
Most of you went directly to the goto on SOsuave "BLAME THE CHICK" "SHES EVIL".

Please guys.. wake df up and realize your perspective is FAR from the ultimate. Your perspective if negative, is about as ideal as a man who never goes outside. You're literally going to scare the only few of us who enjoy abundance with women away from this forum. YOu gus already scared literally everyone else away.. Dudes who are confident and enjoy abundance do not want to be associated or read your nonsense perspectives .. Its really cringe. Look around, how many real players are left on SS? IF we put a spotlght on everyone and got to see what everyones truly like, you'd see abuncha strange creepy dudes staring at each other.. and thats sad.

You see, not every situation is the same here, self-proclaimed dictator of the forum.

You're calibration is way off. You really need to work on that.

Here's me talking about meeting a girl with her friends for a first date. This post is from a week ago.

Walked out on my date, did I over react or stood up for myself…

Thanks for sharing OP. Yeah, tough story to read but we've ALL been there. A few moving parts: You NEED to escalate sooner. The peck on the cheek was really bad on many levels. Women LOVE strong, assertive, go-for-it type men. Next time take charge and just grab her and kiss her. If we're out...

www.sosuave.net

Read the previous post on this thread that made you lose your sh1t, post #92 Then read it again. And try to keep your emotions in check this time. You might actually understand.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Good lookin girls need 0 validation

Just saw this.

What planet are you talking about?

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Even the only woman perspective in here agreed with my points.

Here's another gem I missed.

Yay!!! Congratulations, you did good. for you. A woman who hasn't been on a date since the 1950's liked your post about going on dates.

 

[Gamisch]

This is the entire thread in a nutshell:

A buncha dudes who never been invited by a girl to anything where her friends or another friend was present.. (lack of BASIC social dynamics)

x

Men who clearly think that beautiful women are just inherently evil and want attention and need orbiters as if they need any kind of validation-- Good lookin girls need 0 validation. Having friends is not a crime.

+ Alot of victim mentality.


Why do girls invite guys out to things where their friends are present?

1) Why does anyone invite anyone out to anything when they first meet someone and start talking? To get to know them in normal social circumstances. If I'm hanging out with some friends and I invite a girl over, I'm not doing it because I want her attention or I'm looking for validation from guys around me .. I do it because im hanging with my boys, and yet I also want to see her so I got something to poke later. Women arent inherently different.. YOu weirdos just spend too much time on the internet reading garbage content that further keeps you socially unaware.

2) A quality girl when she meets a guy, she's not going to just go straight to his house. And she certainly isnt going to set up the first date. She's going to wonder what he's like in person though but maybe she might not want to meet him just on her own as girls have had their fair share of uncomfortable situations.. She might want to just invite him out while shes already got plans with friends or casually hanging out with friends. This is exactly what she did. This also gives her a better idea / more perspectives and opinions on what her friends might think of you.

In the first instance, there were multiple friends.. It didn't bother OP then. The second time, there was only one friend, who happened to be a guy. THIS IS WHAT BOTHERED OP. I mean the OP even went as far as to ask the guy if he had anything with her (lol).. and he made it very clear that he did not.

At no point in this entire thread did the herd of victim mentality, club of socially inept, or the squad of beta males think for a second that MAYBE the OP just lacks social skills, or the fact that he didnt make any move at all, or think of inviting her on a date.
Most of you went directly to the goto on SOsuave "BLAME THE CHICK" "SHES EVIL".

Please guys.. wake df up and realize your perspective is FAR from the ultimate. Your perspective if negative, is about as ideal as a man who never goes outside. You're literally going to scare the only few of us who enjoy abundance with women away from this forum. YOu gus already scared literally everyone else away.. Dudes who are confident and enjoy abundance do not want to be associated or read your nonsense perspectives .. Its really cringe. Look around, how many real players are left on SS? IF we put a spotlght on everyone and got to see what everyones truly like, you'd see abuncha strange creepy dudes staring at each other.. and thats sad.

First of all SS is a site for men who are interested in women. Could be marriage, just fecking and everything in between.

Your POV is that from a "player". A man who has dates lined up, and thus is a great "dating shape" . OP is NOT a player and NOT in dating shape

A player would be like why not go to a event to check her out. Tomorrow is a new. A normal AFC will rather be alone with her because he's after a LTR with this woman.

My geuss is that OP felt like he proved himself the first time. So the second " date " in his mind wss a reward for the successful 1st get together. But instead of a reward, it felt like a humiliation when another dude showed up as well. So much so he had to ASK if he was her bf...must've felt some bf vibes then why would he even ask this if this wasn't the case?

I don't understand how and why you get mad at us when we point this out The first date was clearly with her friends. The second date she pulled a strange move for a 30+ y.o woman. Awkward enough for OP to share this in a thread.

How can one deny that fact. Although you might be on something when you say that a "quality woman " will introduce you to her friends, shouldn't that happen AFTER you fecked her?

If you are a player with many dating options this doesn't even bother you. On the contrary, if you actually want a LTR and you finally match with a decent prospect it's a setback to start off like this. I bet OP would rather be one on one with her in a romantic setting, with the possibility of escalating to sex .

It aint that deep

 

[LTG71]

This sounds like you were on a panel interview with all her friends. Date two she brings a guy? Wtf? I guess technically it wasn’t a date. We all know guys are not ”friends” with women unless they are secretly attracted to them. Unless he’s gay, this woman is blind that her orbiter likes her. You also mentioned that he monopolized all of her attention, exhibit A. Would you bring your friends to a job interview? I don’t think so. Unless she thought you were a serial killer, why introduce you to her friends? This group dynamic is a way to prevent escalation and to have all her friends evaluate you. When a woman avoids exclusivity then she has low interest. A woman did this to me and I dropped her like a rock. You can’t make a connection when she is talking to a bunch of other people. If she doesn’t want to hang out one on one then fvck it and walk away.

Probably got everyone together later and asked, “So what did all you guys think of OP?” I’ll bet my life the guy talked you down. She looked decent in the photo so why wouldn’t the guy “friend” ask her out? Probably balls deep in the friendzone. I can see it now, you all sitting there talking, watching the fight while the guy is staring you down with a stink eye.

Hypothetically, it would have been funny if you started getting along with one of her female friends and left with her instead.

 

[Barrister]

Just saw this.

What planet are you talking about?

I thought the same thing. Hot women are the absolute WORST when it comes to needing validation and needing it from a lot of different sources (different men). They are hot chicks. Their entire existence is built around how they look. This chick that the OP is salivating over sounds no different. She is an aging hot chick who wants to bring as many men into the picture she can to "fight" over her attention so she feels validated. Classic move by a hot chick with her orbiters.

 

[Barrister]

First of all SS is a site for men who are interested in women. Could be marriage, just fecking and everything in between.

Your POV is that from a "player". A man who has dates lined up, and thus is a great "dating shape" . OP is NOT a player and NOT in dating shape

A player would be like why not go to a event to check her out. Tomorrow is a new. A normal AFC will rather be alone with her because he's after a LTR with this woman.

My geuss is that OP felt like he proved himself the first time. So the second " date " in his mind wss a reward for the successful 1st get together. But instead of a reward, it felt like a humiliation when another dude showed up as well. So much so he had to ASK if he was her bf...must've felt some bf vibes then why would he even ask this if this wasn't the case?

I don't understand how and why you get mad at us when we point this out The first date was clearly with her friends. The second date she pulled a strange move for a 30+ y.o woman. Awkward enough for OP to share this in a thread.

How can one deny that fact. Although you might be on something when you say that a "quality woman " will introduce you to her friends, shouldn't that happen AFTER you fecked her?

If you are a player with many dating options this doesn't even bother you. On the contrary, if you actually want a LTR and you finally match with a decent prospect it's a setback to start off like this. I bet OP would rather be one on one with her in a romantic setting, with the possibility of escalating to sex .

It aint that deep

Good post.

You make a good point that a lot of SS posters are at different points. Some are married and miserable and want to know what to do to get a spark back. Some are just divorced and trying to get back on their feet. And some want to fvck as many chicks as possible but lack the ability to do so. And then some just want to complain nonstop. At the end of the day, it is a site designed to help every single one of these groups.

That said, while it sounds trite when it gets repeated here over and over, you have to have abundance with women to avoid situations like the OP is in. A guy who has 2-3 options goes to this event, sees her bring this dude there, and suddenly decides HE is going to have fun with it and talk up every chick there and get some numbers. OP's girl probably sees this and immediately swoops in and wants his attention as well. When you don't care, you have ALL the power and you also attract MORE women. It is a simplistic concept, but not easy to grasp until you have experienced it.

 

[Barrister]

Tell a hot woman for fun "Hey is everything alright at home? You've gained some weight" You'll see how her world crumbles and she start to post pics looking for obiters to tell ger how beautiful she is. Its comical

Social media is like a drug for the reason you describe. An even slightly above average chick can post a picture of her doing some mundane task and get 100+ likes and 10+ messages from thirsty guys and she gets her validation rush. It is sickening to be honest.

 

[jimwho]

I got the opportunity to ask her girl friend what the situation is between her and that guy and she said it's just her friend.

And the first thing she did (the friend) was to relay your question to her. Probably by text while you were standing next
To Ms. Friend-zone-sht-tester. OP not ragging in anyway, it's just women being females. In my day they had to go into the bathroom yack yack yack yack then come out loaded for more manipulation. try not to let her drag you around.

 

[RazorRambo24]

First of all SS is a site for men who are interested in women. Could be marriage, just fecking and everything in between.

Your POV is that from a "player". A man who has dates lined up, and thus is a great "dating shape" . OP is NOT a player and NOT in dating shape

A player would be like why not go to a event to check her out. Tomorrow is a new. A normal AFC will rather be alone with her because he's after a LTR with this woman.

My geuss is that OP felt like he proved himself the first time. So the second " date " in his mind wss a reward for the successful 1st get together. But instead of a reward, it felt like a humiliation when another dude showed up as well. So much so he had to ASK if he was her bf...must've felt some bf vibes then why would he even ask this if this wasn't the case?

I don't understand how and why you get mad at us when we point this out The first date was clearly with her friends. The second date she pulled a strange move for a 30+ y.o woman. Awkward enough for OP to share this in a thread.

How can one deny that fact. Although you might be on something when you say that a "quality woman " will introduce you to her friends, shouldn't that happen AFTER you fecked her?

If you are a player with many dating options this doesn't even bother you. On the contrary, if you actually want a LTR and you finally match with a decent prospect it's a setback to start off like this. I bet OP would rather be one on one with her in a romantic setting, with the possibility of escalating to sex .

It aint that deep

The irony of "it aint that deep" is its some of YOU guys who are making it deep. I'm the one who just broke it down for what I seen. The people who agree with me: The only female perspective on this forum, BillyPilgrim who's a former DJ/mature more experienced guy and SW15 who is also a mature experienced male who alot of what he says definitely resonates with me, despite us not agreeing on everything.. and a few others that I don't know so well or might not have read enough posts/comments from to understand their perspectives.

Here's what I said initially on page 4:

1) she's not inviting you on a date.. get the memo yet? She's calling u to casual hangouts with her friends. Can't be upset at her inviting you to casual hangouts with her friends. she has no obligation to be alone..

2) she might be a little dense to not realize you like her, or you just haven't made it clear enough

3) As a man, traditionally, you are the one whos supposed to invite HER on a date. duh? Women don't set up dates, hence shes probably just feeling you out right now, and waiting for YOU to invite HER out.

4) She obviously thinks you're cool enough to invite you out and spend time with you. But you need to make a move otherwise you won't know where her head is at. i mean do you not have any cues or signs to how she feels about you?

The odd/funny thing is you even liked the post, I would guess in Agreement. I mean you guys are acting like she's obligated to anything with him.. but I already mentioned multiple times, I think that-- alot of perspectives just come from a lack of experience of being invited by a girl to something, where she had male friends present. I've had the experience a few times and its not a big deal.

But yeah I shouldn't be so hard .. you're right alot of dudes are kinda AFC and -- I think my thing is just being slightly frustrated seeing the same negative perspectives on everything lol. Regardless, I still see alot of good change on the forum since a few years back

Once again though I believe that all of this falls on the OP for how he reacted and lack of maneuvering/taking action/setting up a proper date. We can't blame the girl. we can't continue to blame women all the time. It's embarrassing to see men blame women all the time.

 

[BadBoy89]

No girl who wants to sleep with a guy invites that guy out with 2 girls and 1 guy. It doesn’t matter who the guy is, how social he is, how socially inept is. She does not do this if she likes the guy.

Now if it was ONE girlfriend, and she told the OP in advance, “hey, I’d like to meet Cindy, she is my best friend.” Then OK. But an ambush like that with a guy all over her? This has NOTHING to do with the guy’s skills, this is ALL ON THE GIRL.

I went out with a hot 28 year old girl. After maybe 4 dates, her brother invited me to her out to dinner with her parents. I thought was it was way too fast but I figured, “ok. I must be really really charming and she must be IN LOVE with me.” I went to the dinner, it was OK.

Later I found out the girl was ENGAGED before she met me, Her parents only invited me to dinner to give their daughter confidence with her fiancé, To show their daughter “hey, this guy wants to marry you as well, you are hot stuff.” They used me as leverage. Exactly what this girl did.

You guys who think everyone is friendly and social, you must be living in Utopia. These girls can be ruthless if they want.

 

[RazorRambo24]

No girl who wants to sleep with a guy invites that guy out with 2 girls and 1 guy. It doesn’t matter who the guy is, how social he is, how socially inept is. She does not do this if she likes the guy.

Now if it was ONE girlfriend, and she told the OP in advance, “hey, I’d like to meet Cindy, she is my best friend.” Then OK. But an ambush like that with a guy all over her? This has NOTHING to do with the guy’s skills, this is ALL ON THE GIRL.

I went out with a hot 28 year old girl. After maybe 4 dates, her brother invited me to her out to dinner with her parents. I thought was it was way too fast but I figured, “ok. I must be really really charming and she must be IN LOVE with me.” I went to the dinner, it was OK.

Later I found out the girl was ENGAGED before she met me, Her parents only invited me to dinner to give their daughter confidence with her fiancé, To show their daughter “hey, this guy wants to marry you as well, you are hot stuff.” They used me as leverage. Exactly what this girl did.

You guys who think everyone is friendly and social, you must be living in Utopia. These girls can be ruthless if they want.

Yeah but who said she wanted to sleep with him? He has no clue of any of that. This wasn't a date. Without making any moves on her, he just assumed everything. It iddnt bother him when she first invited him out and had guys and girls with her. It bothered him when she invited him out the 2nd time and there was 1 guy with her. who made it clear they were just friends. The mistake some of you are making is to assume that she is obligated to ANYTHING with this guy. This guy is some guy she JUST Met, she never said it was a date, etc. Stop coddling OP. Its not the girls fault. Stop blaming her thats weak as Fucc. Super beta to the max.

The guy friendzoned himself and assumed that cuz a girl was talking to him and invited him out, that she wanted more. Now understand how pathetic it is to blame the girl in this scenario.

Theres a big difference between girls being ruthless and failing to understanding what happened here.

 

[BadBoy89]

Did you fvck her? Also accepting dinner with her parents after 4 dates? How desperate were you to win then over? Classic nice guy thinking "let them know me, so they know how "great" I am, therefore I'll have them on my side"

Assuming. I didn’t say I was desperate to win them over. I didn’t say “let them get on my side.”

You are projecting to fit your agenda.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

OP, any current updates with this broad ?
This thread had juice, takes me back to vintage og roosh v forum days of glory

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Now if it was ONE girlfriend, and she told the OP in advance, “hey, I’d like to meet Cindy, she is my best friend.” Then OK. But an ambush like that with a guy all over her? This has NOTHING to do with the guy’s skills, this is ALL ON THE GIRL.

Right...common sense and decency.

I don't know what this guy's deal is. Maybe he's just used to being disrespected by women. Par for the course for him.

 

[LTG71]

Tell a hot woman for fun "Hey is everything alright at home? You've gained some weight" You'll see how her world crumbles and she start to post pics looking for obiters to tell ger how beautiful she is. Its comical

Woman that used to be hot sent me a photo of her and her old roommate that is visiting. Commenting on how much better she looks than her. She was fishing for compliments. I didn’t respond. The more honest thing would have been, “Yeah, you gained a sh!t ton of weight during the pandemic. You need to stop whatever it is you are doing and follow her lead.” She was basically neg-ing herself to get an opposite response. Sorry honey, not this time.

 

[RazorRambo24]

Did you fvck her? Also accepting dinner with her parents after 4 dates? How desperate were you to win then over? Classic nice guy thinking "let them know me, so they know how "great" I am, therefore I'll have them on my side"

Sup P! Silly part is homie is comparing his 4 "dates" with a girl to this situation which was not even a date.. Theres no comparison. Its now completely evident OP thought that this was more than what it is just because she spoke to him and invited him out. She never said date, he never asked for a date, he never made a move, etc.. boom.. shes not obligated to do anything or be alone, case fuccin closed.

I think "Badboy89" was in the same boat. Guy's got to stop thinking cuz girls invite you out to shi.t that its a date. That's what happens when men never had a female friend lol. Guy: "Oh im going on a date with this hot chick!" Her to her friends: "I'm hanging out with a friend today. ill call you later"

 

[BadBoy89]

This does need to be a seducer's board and not an incel board or Average Frustrated Chump board. This is a good point.

What should have the OP have done when he saw a guy, invited by the girl, all over a girl he wanted to sleep?

 

[BadBoy89]

Sup P! Silly part is homie is comparing his 4 "dates" with a girl to this situation which was not even a date.. Theres no comparison. Its now completely evident OP thought that this was more than what it is just because she spoke to him and invited him out. She never said date, he never asked for a date, he never made a move, etc.. boom.. shes not obligated to do anything or be alone, case fuccin closed.

I think "Badboy89" was in the same boat. Guy's got to stop thinking cuz girls invite you out to shi.t that its a date. That's what happens when men never had a female friend lol. Guy: "Oh im going on a date with this hot chick!" Her to her friends: "I'm hanging out with a friend today. ill call you later"

I think you are missing the point. The point isnt “men don’t know how discern a date from a friendship or love or sex ” The point is “women use men to their benefit” Its not bad, good, or evil. It’s just who they are.

In my situation,
If I accept the invite “you a beta sucker, you are trying to impress the parents!”
If decline the invite: “it’s just dinner, why you shut-in, incel?”

Rock on.

 

[SW15]

What should have the OP have done when he saw a guy, invited by the girl, all over a girl he wanted to sleep?

He needed to ask her out the first time, not agree to the get together at the sports bar.