I built it, they didn't come

[kavi]

I've seen no evidence this is the case with OP. Based on what he's said here he seems socially normal. He just hasn't gotten the time of day from women because they are busy chasing 3 percenters.

Yeah ofcourse OP is correct most women cant be bothered with men. Would most men bother with women if not for getting laid.

 

[allergictobs]

I've seen no evidence this is the case with OP. Based on what he's said here he seems socially normal. He just hasn't gotten the time of day from women because they are busy chasing 3 percenters.

I'd say I'm socially quite normal, but introverted. I have never liked chasing women but instead always been focused on career, sports, self-development. Women have given me quite a lot of attention over the years but it's usually always those women whom I'm not interested in. I did have relationships when I was younger, even one LTR where the girl was very much into me.

I think a lot of people just don't really talk about this stuff because keyboard warriors will talk about how much ass they get. Or some chick will gaslight you and say "The problem is definitely YOU". Also, the truth is there isn't much to talk about once you realize women are not that interested in us. All you can really do is live your life in a way where women aren't a significant part of your life, and there are many ways to achieve that.

Yes. I recently had a conversation about this topic with a family member because there has been an epidemic of single women in my family (over half of my female cousins and siblings are single at 30 or 40, whereas all the males in the family are married except for me). We had a really open and honest talk and the conclusion was that most women don't really like men that much and prefer to be single by choice.

At work, this phenomenon is apparent with an increasing number of divorces and single women in their 30s and 40s. The women don't seem sad about it, quite the opposite, most of them are very motivated by their career. The only logical conclusion is that they want to do this, they want to be single.

Now, I still think that there are women who enjoy the company of men, women who like sex and intimacy a lot, but it is probably the minority of all women. I have been in a relationship like that so I know it exists. I think those women choose a man early in their life and then stay with them long-term, often the rest of their lives.

 

[corrector]

That is why self improvement can be sick advice. You end up with attention from undesirable women that are 4 points below you and you feel ripped off. The fact that you are escortcelling shows me you have to pay for the company of women (that in a normal and functional society ) that you would otherwise deserve. At least you can afford that hobby. How often are you escortcelling?

 

[jaymbrs]

First thing I thought reading your post.

 

[bat soup]

Is this what you did?

No, because I don't want to date the kind of women that love scumbags.

 

[DonJuanjr]

You're getting it all wrong. To get women you don't have to improve yourself. You have to make yourself worse. You need to become the scumbag that women love. The scumbag that they complain about on their dating profiles and swear they'll never date again... and then do.

No, because I don't want to date the kind of women that love scumbags.

No one reading your original post is going to infer you meant low value women....

 

[pipeman84]

At work, this phenomenon is apparent with an increasing number of divorces and single women in their 30s and 40s. The women don't seem sad about it, quite the opposite, most of them are very motivated by their career. The only logical conclusion is that they want to do this, they want to be single.

You can't take an observation from a tiny sample of women and extrapolate to all women. Leaving aside those truly masculine women who thrive climbing the corporate ladder, the rest of those single ladies self medicate with wine or are on anti depressants, have cats/dogs as surrogates for men and generally are unhappy human beings.
My logical conclusion is that they haven't found a man they truly connect with and that's why they're single, not because they chose to be.

 

[allergictobs]

That is why self improvement can be sick advice. You end up with attention from undesirable women that are 4 points below you and you feel ripped off. The fact that you are escortcelling shows me you have to pay for the company of women (that in a normal and functional society ) that you would otherwise deserve. At least you can afford that hobby. How often are you escortcelling?

I try to see them about once a week, but it doesn't always work out due to schedule conflicts etc. Also, most of them are escorting only a short period of time (often during university studies) and then move on to other things in life.

You can't take an observation from a tiny sample of women and extrapolate to all women. Leaving aside those truly masculine women who thrive climbing the corporate ladder, the rest of those single ladies self medicate with wine or are on anti depressants, have cats/dogs as surrogates for men and generally are unhappy human beings.
My logical conclusion is that they haven't found a man they truly connect with and that's why they're single, not because they chose to be.

I don't know, perhaps single women are not happy, but most of them certainly are not making any effort to attract a man. If they were truly interested in men, the first thing they would do is to get in shape (because all women know that's what attracts men).

Also, if a woman truly likes men and sex, she will stay in shape because it is difficult to have a great sex life if there is no physical attraction. I think Aaron Clarey has talked (not sure if it was him?) about these things a lot and it is very true: getting out of shape tells a lot about a person's mindset, mostly that they have stopped caring.

 

[corrector]

I try to see them about once a week, but it doesn't always work out due to schedule conflicts etc. Also, most of them are escorting only a short period of time (often during university studies) and then move on to other things in life.

Okay, so we have established your tastes of younger University age women. But you are 38 years old. Are you going for like 30 min / incall, or longer periods? What is your monthly budget? Why would you want a civvie women if you are meeting a hot Stacie University woman like that every week? You have made a ceiling with that lifestyle as you are not going to get the same type of women you are seeing through that arrangment and I think you have spoiled yourself out of the dating market. Most people on dating apps have to settle with 3-4 points lower than themselves.

 

[patb]

I'm not a 3 percenter and I do just fine. Social skills and conversational skills are lacking IMHO. OP can paint any picture of himself he wants, this is what makes sense to me.

"Social skills" amount to being a phony, vacuous extrovert. I can't advise anyone not to practice them -- failure to do so will come with consequences. But declining to debase yourself in that way is laudable.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

"Social skills" amount to being a phony, vacuous extrovert. I can't advise anyone not to practice them -- failure to do so will come with consequences. But declining to debase yourself in that way is laudable.

Nope...social skills amount to understanding how to act with other people in public settings. Trust me when I say "being normal" never got you so far as it does today with the amount of weirdos and dudes that have zero social skills in person.

 

[patb]

Nope...social skills amount to understanding how to act with other people in public settings.

That is precisely what I described.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

@patb

You're new here how do you classify yourself? RP, MGTOW, BP?

That is precisely what I described.

 

[allergictobs]

Okay, so we have established your tastes of younger University age women. But you are 38 years old. Are you going for like 30 min / incall, or longer periods? What is your monthly budget?

I think you are a bit too curious/concerned about my lifestyle. I love beautiful women and I love sex. Not all of them are university age, either, some are between 25-35. Also, high quality escorts don't do incall or short visits.

Outside escorting, I get attention from women in their 20s all the time. If you read my first post in this thread, you probably realize that I'm not a typical guy. Many wealthy and fit men even in their 40s date women in their late 20s/early 30s. Why would I try to date women my own age if I aimed for a LTR and possibly starting a family one day?

 

[patb]

@patb

You're new here how do you classify yourself? RP, MGTOW, BP?

Eh, idk. Any/all? Can't say I feel entirely at home in any of those buckets. BP tends to be fixated on looks, which in my experience is just wrong. RP, I subscribe to descriptively more than prescriptively. MGTOW, maybe, probably heading in that direction as life marches towards its dyspeptic conclusion. Tbh, I think the incels are right about most everything, and most everyone is just too egotistical and cowardly to admit it.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

That is precisely what I described.

That's nothing like you described actually

 

[corsica]

He is talking to escorts.

The problem with talking to escorts is that you might not catch what works and what not during conversation. And continue to be socially awkward (not saying OP is)

Same with beautiful women. Imagine Amber Heard at her prime talking to you.
She goes and says some dumb stuff like:
- I took a crap in my ex’s bed, I hate him. He is a loser.

Most men will say she’s right, brave, etc, in the hope of having sex with her. Instead of telling her she’s a crazy h0e.

 

[patb]

That's nothing like you described actually

You said that social skills amount to conforming to social expectations. Social expectations in North America require you to emulate extroversion, conceal your true opinions and feelings (mandatory positivity), pretend to care more about people than you actually do, and make small talk about things that you likely find uninteresting. Ergo...

 

[patb]

if you're on the spectrum, your only choice is going to be to mimic the lifestyle and behavior of men that are successful with women. This could be self destructive and it will require you to sublimate your desires, but thats what it will take.

And it's incredible to me just how much of a disqualifier any hint of 'neurodivergence' so often is. It can cancel out everything else, even if everything else is solidly above average.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You said that social skills amount to conforming to social expectations. Social expectations in North America require you to emulate extroversion, conceal your true opinions and feelings (mandatory positivity), pretend to care more about people than you actually do, and make small talk about things that you likely find uninteresting. Ergo...

You sound like a person who has no clue how this works. Clearly you have issues with social skills.

Your issue is you likely have strong negative opinions about close to everything and don't respect anyone else's opinion to the contrary.

Who wants to be around someone who acts like that? Nobody, that's who.

Social expectations are that you act like you weren't raised in your room in front of a screen and never went out and played as a child with other kids. I know...hard when you haven't done it before.