I am 22 and married but not happy. My wife is the 3rd and last girl in my life. Need help?

[marmel75]

When you're in a marriage or LTR, you will always feel like women are flirting and wanting to bang you. And maybe some are. But it's a matter of perception, i.e., you cannot or should not act on it, so it feels like you're on a diet and someone's laying out all kinds of delicious junk food in front of you.

The reality is, if you get a divorce, you're not going to just fall into bed with these women. You'll still have to work hard, have tight game, have a life mission, etc.

I wouldn't make the decision on those terms. When I was married I felt the same, but there were heavier forces at play than just wanting to spin plates. Questions of freedom, peace of mind, and just peace in general.

Your age is certainly a factor as well. Why did you get married at 22?

In fact you will find that MORE women will want to bang you when they know you are taken...its like they want what they can't have...like its dirty or forbidden or taboo...

It can suck at times and can definitely cause you to stray if you let it consume you...

 

[marmel75]

If you talking suicide, I would suggest that you are depressed and need to seek mental health counseling (admitting to them that you have been/are suicidal) and deal with all that BEFORE you make any decisions on your marriage.

You may think that divorcing will "solve" all your issues but, if you are dealing with real depression, you will find that you will get divorced and still feel depressed and suicidal, maybe even more so.

Your depression may have nothing to do with your marriage but you're marriage has been the easiest thing to blame your depression on.

I don't know, I'm not a licensed therapist but deal with the depression and suicidal thoughts. Get your mind right before you make a decision on your marriage.

Low T...the epidemic nobody wants to talk about...hush hush...

 

[dbayraktar]

Almost every post "She doesn't want you to this, she doesn't want you to that",, What the fu*ck man, you sound like a puppy on a chin, and probably the reason why you feel like that, b'cos you are on a chain. You are the man in the relationship, you are the leader, not the one who should ask permission, this is fuc*king weak.
Find your balls and stop asking her what she allowed you to do, or not to do. Do what you want, go to where you want, and with who you want. (she can tag along if she wants and it suits you, but she should never prevent you from doing your things )
In the beginning, she will kick and cry and use all her heavy ammunition and manipulation tools to gain back control on you, but stick to your guns and don't give up.
She can ***** as much as she wants, you just do your things. Her bitchennes and jealousy are her manipulating tools to keep you in check and under her thumb. if you don't stop it now it'll just get worse.
Start with that, take back control over your life and your relationship and you'll feel immediately the difference in your feeling, and maybe you'll see your marriage in a different, positive light.

You are right. She always tried to scare me by doing things that I don't like. She even tried to leave me couple of times. But she didn't. Because I didn't let her to do that. Sometimes she becomes a very cute girl. For example she was acting so cute to me yesterday, but she is acting more cold today. She gets angry easily.

 

[sazc]

Low T...the epidemic nobody wants to talk about...hush hush...

Maybe, but ppl with chemical issues (nothing to be ashamed of) shouldn't make life altering decisions untill they are righted.

I don't know a thing about the dynamics of his relationship but I do know that ppl tend to blame the easiest "thing" for their unhappiness/ill feelings. Sometimes they make decisions based on those feelings and end up realizing that they made a mistake because nothing changed and they still feel like sh1t. Then they are more despondent

 

[dbayraktar]

1)think about relationship dynamics:

Alpha Male relationship dynamic - they isolate women from her social background (it eliminates any potential threat from outside coming from other males or females) but it also requires
- assets (you are 100% responsible for your and hers time)
- time (yet again, 100% responsible for yours and hers time)
- iron frame (she will throw hissy fits from time to time, it's assured as she is isolated)

Now, your wife relationship dynamic resembles Alpha Female dynamics:
- protect her asset (you)
- control her asset (you)
- support her asset - she should support you, if she does its the sign of alpha female, if she doesn't, she should learn to do it

2)Male friends
- if you don't have a brother you are close to, you need male friends, male friends will provide you with emotional support and fun time, they will also counterbalance your wife a bit (sure, she will be annoyed by them but that's the point)
- male friends can be good business partners, don't ignore relations with other guys just because your wife might get jealous

It's important to annoy your wife a bit by showing independence from time to time just like she annoys you with her demands. Balance in relationship requires maintenance of this push-pull dynamics.

3)Presents
- don't spoil her with gifts too much, she is your wife so it's ok to bring her gifts (even expensive) but you know, after an expensive gift you should get spoiled by her (massage, good phuck, honey this, honey that), you are equal age, she is hot, I'd spoil her if I were you as well - just not too much. Don't go into debts and don't try to 'buy' her good mood, also don't apologise by giving her pricey gifts. Give her nice things only when she behaves like you want her to behave. Remember that you need to consider your own good first and foremost, so spending too much money on her will deplete your own resources (marriage or not, I'm assuming she is working as well)
- if she isn't working than this changes your relationship dynamics a bit but I'd say it's better for you to some extent only (less money in household)

I liked my male friends. I have also male cousins and I was always hanging out with them at nights and we were going to the night club. We were camping in the wild forests. That days were perfect. But now, my wife gets jealous about them. I talk to my cousins but can't do the excited things anymore. It is so hard to not care about my wife. I value her. I would never let her to control my life if she was a different, ordinary girl.

 

[dbayraktar]

If you talking suicide, I would suggest that you are depressed and need to seek mental health counseling (admitting to them that you have been/are suicidal) and deal with all that BEFORE you make any decisions on your marriage.

You may think that divorcing will "solve" all your issues but, if you are dealing with real depression, you will find that you will get divorced and still feel depressed and suicidal, maybe even more so.

Your depression may have nothing to do with your marriage but you're marriage has been the easiest thing to blame your depression on.

I don't know, I'm not a licensed therapist but deal with the depression and suicidal thoughts. Get your mind right before you make a decision on your marriage.

The reason why I think about dying is to stop all of my thoughts. Because they makes me crazy. I don't know what to do. If I know, I'll do it. Actually the advices which is given here makes me feel happy. So, thank you.

 

[sazc]

Sure sure cuz every guy with a problem to solve has to be clinically depressed and low T for sure.

Women on these forums. Jeez.



I'd reconnect with them if I was you.

The main issue is to train your mentaility and situation isn't really that serious - you write like a very decent guy - its difficult to be in very serious relationship at your age but it may be a good thing for you if you will assume a mature man mentality.

Read through these forums, they are excellent source of knowledge. Don't turn mysoginistic or red pill too much. Women are great motivator for men to change - think about it like a challenge. Good challenge for a guy is a must I'd say.

Assume different mentality, positive, free, manly and act like that - sure you are tied to your wife? So what. Date her man, take her to some nice resto, tease her a bit, have fun. Go together to a party.

Then do something off the beat and after being sweet to her go and hang out with your male friends and assume she will get angry about it from point 0. It's about your frame - more things you will see before they will happen, the more prepared and calm you will be and soon she will throw some upper game in bed just to hold you as sex is the ultimate pacifier of male behaviour - if you will be pacified without any efforts from her, you will get lousy sex.

Phuck her up and downs, threat her with her own weapon a bit. She will like the challenge. Trust me.

Marriage is not the end of game. You need to game your wife. Date her. Be the challenge. Don't be afaid to act like a douche from time to time. If it will make you feel better, then why not?

It's not about being good or evil. It's about living your life to the fullest and she looks like she could be of fun. It's up to you what you will do with your relationship as you are leading it

Regarding women in the office - don't go after them. Pay some complement here and there, imitate interest but remember that you are the catch for them really, not the other way around. Remember what samspade wrote couple posts above.

You need to learn reading comprehension. I never suggested low T, a dude did

 

[marmel75]

Maybe, but ppl with chemical issues (nothing to be ashamed of) shouldn't make life altering decisions untill they are righted.

I don't know a thing about the dynamics of his relationship but I do know that ppl tend to blame the easiest "thing" for their unhappiness/ill feelings. Sometimes they make decisions based on those feelings and end up realizing that they made a mistake because nothing changed and they still feel like sh1t. Then they are more despondent

Thats true but the #1 cause of depression in males is low T...it should be the starting point for any type of depression causes.

 

[Ranger]

First off, don’t be a clueless man. On some level, she knows what’s going on with you. It can’t help but show up in your communication and body language and the little social signals you put off.

Assume...she knows. Now this puts her under anxiety. The threat of loss. Her actions, as I’m reading them from you, exemplify a person’s efforts to hold sh!t together. Men do this all the time.
Now if she accuses you of cheating, then tap the phone. A guilty party always accuses the other of the very crimes they commit. Criminology 101.

Now if you ARE cheating then you gave it away in your persona, body language and communication. She will double down on her efforts.

Men go through this all the time. This is the sub communication that women are experts at. This is why men are so easy to catch cheating.
Women have much more skill and never operate without plausible deniability. They are wired for it. You cannot compete with a woman at this level. You will lose.

I have no advice for your predicament. It’s not my concern. But don’t think she’s clueless. She is a master at this game.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I don't know. Sometimes I even think about killing myself to end all of my thoughts.

You really want to trade a dependable loving wife who fvcks you with all her heart for a bunch of conniving backstabbing hoez?

 

[sazc]

You considered low T and wrote about depression so I think I comprehended it pretty well.

Now, advice for an advice:

Stop pumping these forums with posts for likes to support your wavering self-perceived value. Guys that have their shi.te together know very well what kind of users are women going through these forums - you are equivalent of male betaboyz lurking through women forums except they suck up for attention and you tend to play confident queens giving benevolent advice here and there which is still pretty pathetic.

We both know who sits in front of your screen, typing for attention. Go fix your own life and don't meddle into mens business woman.

I didn't consider low T, it didn't even cross my mind

 

[sazc]

First off, don’t be a clueless man. On some level, she knows what’s going on with you. It can’t help but show up in your communication and body language and the little social signals you put off.

Assume...she knows. Now this puts her under anxiety. The threat of loss. Her actions, as I’m reading them from you, exemplify a person’s efforts to hold sh!t together. Men do this all the time.
Now if she accuses you of cheating, then tap the phone. A guilty party always a. Uses the other of the very crimes they commit. Criminology 101.

Now if you ARE cheating then you gave it away in your persona, body language and communication. She will double down on her efforts.

Men go through this all the time. This is the sub communication that women are experts at. This is why men are so easy to catch cheating.
Women have much more skill and never operate without plausible deniability. They are wired for it. You cannot compete with a woman at this level. You will lose.

I have no advice for your predicament. It’s not my concern. But don’t think she’s clueless. She is a master at this game.

Well said. I don't have faith that women are masters as you suggest, but I agree she knows something is up.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Your wife looks cute in the picture OP, but I think you married like 15 years too early. If you think you can pull a girl just as good, or even better, by the time you are 37-38, then by all means get a divorce.

 

[Crown]

Another dude discovered rollo's book and now he feels imprisoned. Such original story.

And by the way: who the fuk marries at 22 ? Someone forced you or something ?

 

[Alvafe]

Another dude discovered rollo's book and now he feels imprisoned. Such original story.

And by the way: who the fuk marries at 22 ? Someone forced you or something ?

kinda the norm or you marry a lot earlyer or it will take a hell of a time, normally with HS GF or something

the OP problem is he thinks the grass is greener in the other side, he belives marriage or a new woman will bring happiness, he belive just because some woman are flirting with him now since he is taken, he would keep it like that if single, he is too young, naive, and have a lot to learn, he shouldn't end his marriage because i'm sure he will feel worse after if he does, what he should be doing is undertanding happiness start with him not from someone else, and try to fix things, he simple put don't own anything, he have no frame, everything for him is his job and his wife, lose one....

 

[machoMax]

You can 1) stay with her and endure your wanderlust, perhaps cheating, perhaps not, or 2) get divorced, and endure an unpleasant short term experience in exchange for your freedom from marriage. It all boils down to what you want and what you're willing to pay for it, because both choices come with a price.

Well, i am sharing your opinion samspade...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

If you are that powerful in your masculinity, you will be able to take your wife out WITH you and make most of the women in the environment envious of what you two have. You need to understand that the world will attempt to wedge you at all times, meaning get in between. Dude, these guys juggling backstabbing, two face hoez are living in hell. Even the top guys expose themselves and make themselves vulernable dealing with these ticking timebombs. Theres plenty you can do without cheating your wife. Yeah at 22 your young, but your young enough to grow together. Keep passion outside the marriage, in yourself, your hobbies, your career. Love her religiously, learn to fvck her mind and body like a master.

 

[fanatic22]

First off speak to a lawyer. Sometimes marriages of less than one year can be annulled without a big court fight but that differs by country.

Second, if you don’t mind losing her or even prefer losing her, then nothing is stopping you from retaking your life. It sounds like you hate how controlling your wife is. Well, tell her you’re going to go back to doing what you loved doing. Join a gym, reconnect with friends, get back into any other hobbies. Prepare for her to be very cold and starve you of sex for the first few weeks. Do not give in. Eventually, one of two things will happen: she will respect your actions and stop trying to control you. Or, she will start to hate you and your marriage will be irrevocably broken. That’s when you divorce.

 

[marmel75]

You considered low T and wrote about depression so I think I comprehended it pretty well.

Now, advice for an advice:

Stop pumping these forums with posts for likes to support your wavering self-perceived value. Guys that have their shi.te together know very well what kind of users are women going through these forums - you are equivalent of male betaboyz lurking through women forums except they suck up for attention and you tend to play confident queens giving benevolent advice here and there which is still pretty pathetic.

We both know who sits in front of your screen, typing for attention. Go fix your own life and don't meddle into mens business woman.

Why wouldnt you consider low T? Its the #1 reason for depression in men. And with the Testosterone levels what they are these days, it should be the FIRST thing to check since its very easy to do a quick blood test and then if its OK it can be ruled out.

 

[marmel75]

I didn't consider low T, it didn't even cross my mind

Sad part is neither do most doctors. Kind of unbelievable when we know hormone changes can literally turn you into a different person.