"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
How you deal with anger really
- Thread starter Jack12345
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
and in so you have 2 ways to deal with it supress, and in doing so not changing anything.
or use it as fuel to force you to change.
what is the reason for you being angry? a situation you let it happen? so you know very well you can and should not let this happen again so you use it for the change.
most consider anger as a bad feeling, there is not bad feeling really, just the way you deal with it, using anger was fuel to change what you can is alwyas a good thing
You are a speck of dust on a pebble floating through a endless sea of nothingness. None of this sh*t down here is really worth getting that angry about. Relax and enjoy the ride.
FJA
Don Juan
I'm emotionally blocked. Hard to get to the roots of whys because there is alot of bull**** to go through first and it feels like I'm losing significant time
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
ImTheDoubleGreatest!
Master Don Juan
I then use the anger to fuel me to get stronger. To give me DRIVE. This drive is the essence of masculinity.
In life channel it into physical activity eg the heavy bag and just burn it off as fuel.
Or learn meditation and how to calm your reactive mind.
I do both but I'm still on the journey to the next level which is not to react in the first place i.e. be able to intervene in your own thoughts at the moment they form.
EyeOnThePrize
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2019
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- 1,168
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- 1,934
- Age
- 35
Anger is worse than fire in that it's utterly useless. There is no situation where it would benefit you. When you conclude that anger is irrational and useless it becomes much easier to dismiss.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
As I get older I'm trying to practice a little bit more self compassion too.
I sent spent this morning hanging out on so suave and smelling the coffee. I should be doing my chores and jumping into my tech projects for work.
But I'm a bit more realistic these days. I'm not going to get down on myself because there was an exec reshuffle at work so it was a **** of a week pot was boiling and I had an epic tennis match on Thursday night which I am still very sore from. And some adverse medical news this week.
So the frame needs a little bit of recovery time.
Only real advantage of old age is experience you know this too shall pass.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
Peace & love
FJA
Don Juan
Dumps you/cheats:
Move on and don´t stay in the bad atmosphere, it´s toxic, unfortunately it´s a part of the behaviour of many women, we can change our own behaviour/emotions, not that from women (maybe we can if we put much much energy in it, but better use your energy for nice things, which lead tot success)
Flakes:
> Option 1) Don´t contact her for some weeks, than simply try to reschedule for an appointment (have a drink, inviting to your place etc), no answer or a no I don´t want-answer, let her wait like 1 month and try it again, in the meanwhile, do nice things ;-) with other girls
> Option 2) Text her: if you like to meet later, let me know, if I´m still interested, we can hang out (no other words, no emotions, so don´t be angry, that´s needy!!!), especially that ¨if I´m still interested¨ is very important, than she knows she can lose something and you don´t give a **** about her being flaky, women don´t like to lose. And it gives you more value, since you show that you don´t care, she can smell it and feel that it seems that you have other options......and not only her
Ghosts after a date:
Be the leader, tell her (text, phone): ready to meet again, (date/time) + (location)? No answer, contact her again with the same message again in some weeks, as if you never asked her before (so don´t speak about previous contactmoments). If her answer is no, the famous message: if you like to meet later, let me know, if I´m still interested, we can hang out. Other option is, just don´t do anything anymore and meet other women.
Most important is, don´t show emotions, that´s not attractive for a woman, only predators like that, but we are not looking for a predator.....as far as I know ;-)
Greetings from Holland!
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
FJA
Don Juan
The solution could be by making sure that there will be no trigger for any anger anymore, by sitting at home, doing nothing and especially no risk taking. Boring. But as I always say, no risk = no fun. So accept that things go wrong, because of taking risks. But also notice, that because of takings risks, many good things happened or will happen. When it´s about women, you can not control them and you don´t want that, it sucks out all your energy. So stop analysing why this and that, just move on, enough new good things will come.
This is so ****ing true and yet hard to swallow
Ohso-Phresh
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2020
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Easiest fastest way is to incorporate a mediation practice. Nothing complex just focus on your breathing and the space in between your thoughts. 15m/daily is a good start.
To break it down anger is feeling victimized by an unrealized expectation and is a product of your interpretation of events.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.