How you deal with anger really

[Jack12345]

Title

 

[samspade]

Drugs.

Just kidding. Anger is usually suppressed sadness or disappointment. So you have to ask yourself what is bothering you and why. I'm not going to get new-agey and tell you you need to express every emotion. But you do need to take stock of why you're boiling over.

Note: This is different from being angry in the moment, like as an immediate reaction to something hostile. That's a little more understandable, though still something that needs to be controlled.

 

[Alvafe]

anger is just a feeling,

and in so you have 2 ways to deal with it supress, and in doing so not changing anything.
or use it as fuel to force you to change.

what is the reason for you being angry? a situation you let it happen? so you know very well you can and should not let this happen again so you use it for the change.

most consider anger as a bad feeling, there is not bad feeling really, just the way you deal with it, using anger was fuel to change what you can is alwyas a good thing

 

[cola]

I’m not an angry person it’s not really my nature I’m more of a sulker, when things aren’t going my way I shut down emotionally vs having outbursts..

You are a speck of dust on a pebble floating through a endless sea of nothingness. None of this sh*t down here is really worth getting that angry about. Relax and enjoy the ride.

 

[FJA]

The I don´t care attitude is a very good way do deal with it, when it´s about dating women. You never need to be become angry when dating women. Why? Because there are so many great other women! If she does something what doesn´t conform to your values and norms.......walk away, slowly and in control, only say: this not my ¨thing¨. If she feels sorry for what she did, she will back come to you. Without a clear sorry / clear solution from her (not from you), you should not continu with her. If you still do, she will harm you again and again, maybe even more, because you accept stupid behaviour......and that makes you angry. Remember that there a unfortunately many women (and I don´t mean 18-20 years old), who like to play games, who like to get power, steal your power. They are not worth any minute of your time. Walk away, don´t even look back.

 

[Jack12345]

Drugs.

Just kidding. Anger is usually suppressed sadness or disappointment. So you have to ask yourself what is bothering you and why. I'm not going to get new-agey and tell you you need to express every emotion. But you do need to take stock of why you're boiling over.

Note: This is different from being angry in the moment, like as an immediate reaction to something hostile. That's a little more understandable, though still something that needs to be controlled.

I'm emotionally blocked. Hard to get to the roots of whys because there is alot of bull**** to go through first and it feels like I'm losing significant time

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Bro you’re gonna have to sit there and be your own therapist. It’s what I had to do. I’d lie on my bed for hours just psychoanalyzinf everything, went so far back that I started remembering the times from before I was able to walk, even having flashbacks of things from back when I was in diapers. You gotta wade through it. Take the time to do it. It’s the only way. Otherwise, you just gotta ask God for help cuz there’s no way you’re gonna just get thru it like that. There’s nothing you can do BUT tough it out. And if Ty’s what you’re gonna do, you might as well start delving deep into your own psyche to figure out why things are the way they are. Whenever I get irrationally angry, I ask myself why? When I figure out why, I ask what’s causing that to be the reason why? Then when I figure that out, I look to see what can I do about it? If nothing, then that means that all I can do is get better so that I’m in a position of power in the future to where I CAN do something about it, should happen again. If there is no direct solution, then you can always get stronger and tougher and harder and more powerful and have greater endurance and have greater stamina, etc. Strength is absolute. It solves everything.

I then use the anger to fuel me to get stronger. To give me DRIVE. This drive is the essence of masculinity.

 

[ubercat]

With women Google amused mastery and then learn it. Be amused by the dating process and their little games. Then you can take control of a boring date and generate your own entertainment.

In life channel it into physical activity eg the heavy bag and just burn it off as fuel.

Or learn meditation and how to calm your reactive mind.

I do both but I'm still on the journey to the next level which is not to react in the first place i.e. be able to intervene in your own thoughts at the moment they form.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Anger is like fire in that it grows uncontrollable if you let it, and it destroys everything it touches. I watch my temper carefully and put out any small flames before they turn into raging fires.

Anger is worse than fire in that it's utterly useless. There is no situation where it would benefit you. When you conclude that anger is irrational and useless it becomes much easier to dismiss.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Anger can be a real bytch. Sometimr im angry at myself because i need yo complete a goal or task.

 

[ubercat]

Yep your enemies always attack where your armor is weakest. They are actually giving you great info on what you need to work on.

 

[ubercat]

Anger can be a real bytch. Sometimr im angry at myself because i need yo complete a goal or task.

As I get older I'm trying to practice a little bit more self compassion too.

I sent spent this morning hanging out on so suave and smelling the coffee. I should be doing my chores and jumping into my tech projects for work.

But I'm a bit more realistic these days. I'm not going to get down on myself because there was an exec reshuffle at work so it was a **** of a week pot was boiling and I had an epic tennis match on Thursday night which I am still very sore from. And some adverse medical news this week.

So the frame needs a little bit of recovery time.

Only real advantage of old age is experience you know this too shall pass.

 

[Bible_Belt]

NONE OF YOUR FVCKING BUSINESS!!!

 

[Jack12345]

NONE OF YOUR FVCKING BUSINESS!!!

Peace & love

 

[biggoal]

How do you deal with anger when a woman pisses you off? Like dumps you, cheats, flakes, ghosts after a date, etc.

 

[FJA]

How do you deal with anger when a woman pisses you off? Like dumps you, cheats, flakes, ghosts after a date, etc.

Dumps you/cheats:
Move on and don´t stay in the bad atmosphere, it´s toxic, unfortunately it´s a part of the behaviour of many women, we can change our own behaviour/emotions, not that from women (maybe we can if we put much much energy in it, but better use your energy for nice things, which lead tot success)

Flakes:
> Option 1) Don´t contact her for some weeks, than simply try to reschedule for an appointment (have a drink, inviting to your place etc), no answer or a no I don´t want-answer, let her wait like 1 month and try it again, in the meanwhile, do nice things ;-) with other girls
> Option 2) Text her: if you like to meet later, let me know, if I´m still interested, we can hang out (no other words, no emotions, so don´t be angry, that´s needy!!!), especially that ¨if I´m still interested¨ is very important, than she knows she can lose something and you don´t give a **** about her being flaky, women don´t like to lose. And it gives you more value, since you show that you don´t care, she can smell it and feel that it seems that you have other options......and not only her

Ghosts after a date:
Be the leader, tell her (text, phone): ready to meet again, (date/time) + (location)? No answer, contact her again with the same message again in some weeks, as if you never asked her before (so don´t speak about previous contactmoments). If her answer is no, the famous message: if you like to meet later, let me know, if I´m still interested, we can hang out. Other option is, just don´t do anything anymore and meet other women.

Most important is, don´t show emotions, that´s not attractive for a woman, only predators like that, but we are not looking for a predator.....as far as I know ;-)

Greetings from Holland!

 

[RangerMIke]

I let anger pass quickly by focusing on what I need to do about whatever situation that created this emotion. I just take deep breaths and think to myself "Okay, now what?" and it passes. Let go of expectation and just be in the present moment, and understand that nothing you do will can 'guarantee' any result, and no amount of anger can change the past.

 

[FJA]

I let anger pass quickly by focusing on what I need to do about whatever situation that created this emotion. I just take deep breaths and think to myself "Okay, now what?" and it passes. Let go of expectation and just be in the present moment, and understand that nothing you do will can 'guarantee' any result, and no amount of anger can change the past.

The solution could be by making sure that there will be no trigger for any anger anymore, by sitting at home, doing nothing and especially no risk taking. Boring. But as I always say, no risk = no fun. So accept that things go wrong, because of taking risks. But also notice, that because of takings risks, many good things happened or will happen. When it´s about women, you can not control them and you don´t want that, it sucks out all your energy. So stop analysing why this and that, just move on, enough new good things will come.

 

[Jack12345]

Yep your enemies always attack where your armor is weakest. They are actually giving you great info on what you need to work on.

This is so ****ing true and yet hard to swallow

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

Title

Easiest fastest way is to incorporate a mediation practice. Nothing complex just focus on your breathing and the space in between your thoughts. 15m/daily is a good start.

To break it down anger is feeling victimized by an unrealized expectation and is a product of your interpretation of events.