"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

How to beat Approach Anxiety and **** Fear

diviaster

New Member
Joined
Jul 17, 2014
Messages
4
Reaction score
0
I have a big problem with approaching. I am usually caught up with a lot of fear....anyone with anyhelp can do me a huge favour. how can I learn to stop fesring and start doing anyways?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,410
Reaction score
5,175
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
This probably doesn't answer your question, but I'll say it anyway...

I actually don't agree with forcing yourself to rack up approaches just because the women are there.

Pick women that you actually WANT to approach.

Sometimes, we think we are "afraid," but we really aren't. We just have no interest in approaching a particular female or group of females.

That's how procrastination works. We think we fear something, so we avoid it. In reality, we avoid it because we don't like it.

If you want to approach her and you hesitate, that's a real approach anxiety. In that case, do it, but keep it casual and don't put too much pressure on yourself.
 

MtnMan

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2014
Messages
610
Reaction score
38
Location
Vermont
approach anxiety is not rational. I have a bad case of it myself. I do the best when I just go for it right away without thinking. When I go out I try to venue change regularly so I don't get 'stale'
easier said than done, but I do think it takes quite a bit of practice to convince your emotional side that there is nothing to be afraid of.
Its tough man, i get it. :cuss:
 

asa_don

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 31, 2013
Messages
531
Reaction score
126
Location
S Town
imagine how it would feel banging her, your fears should siip away.

just go out and start talking to people, the more exposure you have with strangers the less you will be afraid to approach women.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

El Payaso

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 16, 2014
Messages
3,621
Reaction score
2,624
Go for the rejection. Get used to getting rejected because you will get rejected a lot. That's the nature of the game. Face your fears and you will become confident.
 

VladPatton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 26, 2012
Messages
3,246
Reaction score
232
Location
NYC
Mike32ct said:
This probably doesn't answer your question, but I'll say it anyway...

I actually don't agree with forcing yourself to rack up approaches just because the women are there.

Pick women that you actually WANT to approach.

Sometimes, we think we are "afraid," but we really aren't. We just have no interest in approaching a particular female or group of females.

That's how procrastination works. We think we fear something, so we avoid it. In reality, we avoid it because we don't like it.

If you want to approach her and you hesitate, that's a real approach anxiety. In that case, do it, but keep it casual and don't put too much pressure on yourself.

I totally agree with this. You do NOT have to approach every girl you see in public. In fact, I think it reeks of desperation and thirst. Snipers don't shoot every guy in their scope, they wait for the one they want. Put it this way, when you see that one cute chick that's giving you "fück me" eyes and sends a charge through your wang, you'll want to go up to her. It is then that you should not have anxiety and apply what you've learned here. Just be casual, chill and say hi and make small talk.

If she shoots you down, bail. Not that that in itself won't suck gorilla balls, but at least you tried with the intent of going after the chick that excited you.
 

diviaster

New Member
Joined
Jul 17, 2014
Messages
4
Reaction score
0
Actually atimes I think I have a mental problem, I must admit I have read the game, gone out to practise and rarely I never get rejected but I fear yet. I can approach but one negative person who rejects me, shutters me down to the ground. and I also don't know how to connect with people hence you get that I lead a lonely lifestyle yet I don't want to lead such a life but I have some friends but I believe I can have more so that I can hang with the....infact I broke up with my girl a few days ago....I dumped her...no love...we were just using each other and I don't feel good about being in relationship because I can't manage...probably I will beat this problem by having a better lufestyle which current I don't know how to have. man, if you feel me you gotta help. I don't wanna lead a miserable life
 

dasein

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 9, 2013
Messages
1,109
Reaction score
207
If you are really serious about it, I can guarantee results, but it takes effort. Start talking to people, all people you see regularly. Don't just "Hey how are you?" but remember their names, get to know them. Talk to women too without any kind of pretense, just like you talk to everyone. Like any other habit, it takes a few weeks to gel. Fringe benefit is you will uncover all sorts of other opportunities in the strangest places. Some old lady you have befriended may have her fitness instructor niece coming to visit or similar. Happens all the time.

Once you are good with people, THEN start adding the pickup pretense into the equation. For many men today conditioned to texting, FB, IM, video games, the first step is to build a foundation of social skills for general face to face interactions with people. Then refine towards seducing women. Good luck.
 

diviaster

New Member
Joined
Jul 17, 2014
Messages
4
Reaction score
0
dasein said:
If you are really serious about it, I can guarantee results, but it takes effort. Start talking to people, all people you see regularly. Don't just "Hey how are you?" but remember their names, get to know them. Talk to women too without any kind of pretense, just like you talk to everyone. Like any other habit, it takes a few weeks to gel. Fringe benefit is you will uncover all sorts of other opportunities in the strangest places. Some old lady you have befriended may have her fitness instructor niece coming to visit or similar. Happens all the time.

Once you are good with people, THEN start adding the pickup pretense into the equation. For many men today conditioned to texting, FB, IM, video games, the first step is to build a foundation of social skills for general face to face interactions with people. Then refine towards seducing women. Good luck.
I really appreciate your advice but you see you have told me what to do but I don't know where to begin. I know you must be asking yourself how socially retarded I am. But its reached a point where all I want to do is not care what people think but how I am gonna help myself. so if you could download some of your ideas to me I would appreciate
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Top