You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Mike32ct said:This probably doesn't answer your question, but I'll say it anyway...
I actually don't agree with forcing yourself to rack up approaches just because the women are there.
Pick women that you actually WANT to approach.
Sometimes, we think we are "afraid," but we really aren't. We just have no interest in approaching a particular female or group of females.
That's how procrastination works. We think we fear something, so we avoid it. In reality, we avoid it because we don't like it.
If you want to approach her and you hesitate, that's a real approach anxiety. In that case, do it, but keep it casual and don't put too much pressure on yourself.
I really appreciate your advice but you see you have told me what to do but I don't know where to begin. I know you must be asking yourself how socially retarded I am. But its reached a point where all I want to do is not care what people think but how I am gonna help myself. so if you could download some of your ideas to me I would appreciatedasein said:If you are really serious about it, I can guarantee results, but it takes effort. Start talking to people, all people you see regularly. Don't just "Hey how are you?" but remember their names, get to know them. Talk to women too without any kind of pretense, just like you talk to everyone. Like any other habit, it takes a few weeks to gel. Fringe benefit is you will uncover all sorts of other opportunities in the strangest places. Some old lady you have befriended may have her fitness instructor niece coming to visit or similar. Happens all the time.
Once you are good with people, THEN start adding the pickup pretense into the equation. For many men today conditioned to texting, FB, IM, video games, the first step is to build a foundation of social skills for general face to face interactions with people. Then refine towards seducing women. Good luck.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.